MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 7) [ALL LTC posts go here]

[Jabberwocky]

I think a lot of (most?) the folks in here who have been dealing with this for a long time have been supplementing with Magnesium regularly throughout that period. I personally have done so for several years. Perhaps my dosage is too low? It is possible. I'm definitely open to trying a much more dedicated regimen.



Shouldn't these systems return to homeostasis eventually? Is this dysregulation really going to persist for years without a more structural injury to the neural circuits involved with memory formation / retrieval?

Yes, maybe you don't supplement enough. I don't know.

I do know that minimum daily magnesium for a male is around 450 mg, if you drink any alcohol or you have issues with adrenaline or HPA axis dysfunction, you will leak magnesium which means you have to supplement more.

Actually, no, HPA access dysfunction will not revert to homeostasis because there is a escalating feedback loop between the pituitary hormones (ACTH) parathyroid hormones and adrenaline norepinephrine and cortisol. Not to mention the impact that low magnesium, low potassium and low calcium will have.

That is why HPA axis dysfunction is so difficult to fix.

 

[Veebonacci]

I think a lot of (most?) the folks in here who have been dealing with this for a long time have been supplementing with Magnesium regularly throughout that period. I personally have done so for several years. Perhaps my dosage is too low? It is possible. I'm definitely open to trying a much more dedicated regimen.



Shouldn't these systems return to homeostasis eventually? Is this dysregulation really going to persist for years without a more structural injury to the neural circuits involved with memory formation / retrieval?

I know it’s kind of blurry but follow G_Chems instruction to the T (the screenshot labeled LTC). Processed foods can mess with your magnesium so make sure to cut that out. The type of magnesium you’re taking can affect how much you actually take. Magnesium glycinate seems to work pretty well but there is a laxative effect after a bit. The person I helped was taking about 400mg for about 2 weeks before they got the laxative effect (this happens to get rid of the excess mag). When that happens you can dial your dosage down But you gotta keep taking it as it can take up to a year to fully replenish your reserves.

The magnesium miracle talks about “Remag” which apparently helps you restore your reserves quicker before getting the laxative effects. So you can try that at your discretion (I haven’t tried this one)

Like G_chem said Follow his instructions and you should be good in about a month. The person i helped was pretty much good at 2 weeks then almost 100% by the 1 month mark. Also probably a good idea to make sure your diet is fulfilling all your vits/minerals and get some sun! I firmly believe if you give your body all the necessary nutrients, it’s very capable of healing Itself.

 

[Deep_Fried]

I´ll give it a shot. I was taking 1 pill of magnesium-glycinate alternating with 1 pill of magnesium-threonate a day. This is around 50mg of magnesium a day. I have made good progress, but would like it to be over for good.

I´ll bump it up to 8 capsules a day until I get diarrhea then reduce to 4 capsules or so. Anything else to take along with the magnesia? I usually take 5-htp in the morning and L-tryptophane in the evening.

Edit:
Here are some additional herbs listed:
hpa axis dysfunction

Still have some rhodiola extract, will order some ginseng as well. Hopefully 2 pounds of magnesium-bisglycinate will be enough

 

[badooking]

Oral pregnenolone can help HPA axis issues and the LTC. Test your levels first though. Preg is a neurosteroid and also the oral can convert to allopreg which is GABAergic and imo probably also at the root of the LTC.

Start low, too much also could set you back.

If you don’t have emotional blunting or anhedonia then I think you will recover relatively easily. These symptoms are the resistant ones imo. My HPA is recovered but I still feel emotionally blunted despite my mood being fine and anxiety being low. This is actually worse than the LTC i had years ago since I didnt have blunting then, and I got this from alcohol/caffeine suddenly out of nowhere

 

[Jabberwocky]

Oral pregnenolone can help HPA axis issues and the LTC. Test your levels first though. Preg is a neurosteroid and also the oral can convert to allopreg which is GABAergic and imo probably also at the root of the LTC.

Start low, too much also could set you back.

If you don’t have emotional blunting or anhedonia then I think you will recover relatively easily. These symptoms are the resistant ones imo. My HPA is recovered but I still feel emotionally blunted despite my mood being fine and anxiety being low. This is actually worse than the LTC i had years ago since I didnt have blunting then, and I got this from alcohol/caffeine suddenly out of nowhere

Do you have any actual scientific evidence that pregnenolone will actually help HPA Axis dysfunction?

Regardless of your own personal experience, we require documented scientifically supported evidence. Not saying that it doesn't exist, I'm saying please provide it.

 

[Richi1]

Wanted to provide an update.

I’m approx 13 months in. Progress seems to have halted since month 8/9.

What happens is I seem to slip into this “LTC”and all associated symptoms manifest themselves over the course of 3 to 4 weeks. This is followed by a window of about 1-2 weeks of normality in which I feel great. I slipped back in just 3 days ago but the 2 good weeks I had prior were absolutely fantastic. During the good weeks I was able to drink and party with no issues at all. During the bad weeks I’m unable to drink even 2 pints without severe anxiety.

What I have also noticed is that my diet, general health and psyche has had no bearing on whether I have good weeks or bad weeks, it has a mind of its own and slips me back in whenever it wants.

I have a persistent tinnitus problem in my left ear - which only occurs when I wake up either from a nap or from sleep. Note that this symptom is the biggest indicator of when I am cycling through the bad weeks. It coincides perfectly with them and also recedes completely once these weeks are over and I get my good week or two.

I thought that perhaps these cycles will, over time, change. Maybe the length of the bad period will reduce and the good will increase. That doesn’t seem to be the case. My most positive thought in relation to this was that perhaps my brain is going through some type of reconstruction cycle which feels awful while happening but great once finished.

It’s extremely polarising. When I’m in the good weeks of the cycle I’m so happy and positive to the point I have no memory of what it’s like to be in the bad part and I am convinced it’s over. When I’m in the bad weeks, it’s the opposite - I forget what the good weeks were like and think it’ll never be over. You can actually see how polarised I’ve been if you check the history of my postings, I’ve posted numerous times about how I’ve recovered or almost recovered, followed by posts of how I haven’t (lol).

To leave on a positive note, it’s entirely possible that if I zoom out and look at my timeline since Jan 2022, progress and recovery is happening, but it’s so slow and gradual in its nature that I’m not seeing the difference between these cycles that I’m talking about.

I see a lot of advice about supplementing magnesium floating around. I already tried supplementing it last year, 400mg daily for over 2 months and nothing changed so I’m not inclined to try it again to be honest.

 

[Veebonacci]

I´ll give it a shot. I was taking 1 pill of magnesium-glycinate alternating with 1 pill of magnesium-threonate a day. This is around 50mg of magnesium a day. I have made good progress, but would like it to be over for good.

I´ll bump it up to 8 capsules a day until I get diarrhea then reduce to 4 capsules or so. Anything else to take along with the magnesia? I usually take 5-htp in the morning and L-tryptophane in the evening.

Edit:
Here are some additional herbs listed:
hpa axis dysfunction

Still have some rhodiola extract, will order some ginseng as well. Hopefully 2 pounds of magnesium-bisglycinate will be enough

Awesome deep_fried! Yeah 50mg is quite low. I appreciate semisober for bringing up dosage. That was my fault for not specifying. Please update us in how you feel in a couple of weeks time/one month from now, Deep_fried. I also appreciate you having an open enough mind to try it.

As for taking anything else, I think I narrowed it down to magnesium. So as long as you get your rest, some exercise, and sun I think that should do it. Maybe if you’re eating fast food a lot, i would say keep tabs on your vitamin/minerals intake. God speed in the bathroom

 

[Veebonacci]

Wanted to provide an update.

I’m approx 13 months in. Progress seems to have halted since month 8/9.

What happens is I seem to slip into this “LTC”and all associated symptoms manifest themselves over the course of 3 to 4 weeks. This is followed by a window of about 1-2 weeks of normality in which I feel great. I slipped back in just 3 days ago but the 2 good weeks I had prior were absolutely fantastic. During the good weeks I was able to drink and party with no issues at all. During the bad weeks I’m unable to drink even 2 pints without severe anxiety.

What I have also noticed is that my diet, general health and psyche has had no bearing on whether I have good weeks or bad weeks, it has a mind of its own and slips me back in whenever it wants.

I have a persistent tinnitus problem in my left ear - which only occurs when I wake up either from a nap or from sleep. Note that this symptom is the biggest indicator of when I am cycling through the bad weeks. It coincides perfectly with them and also recedes completely once these weeks are over and I get my good week or two.

I thought that perhaps these cycles will, over time, change. Maybe the length of the bad period will reduce and the good will increase. That doesn’t seem to be the case. My most positive thought in relation to this was that perhaps my brain is going through some type of reconstruction cycle which feels awful while happening but great once finished.

It’s extremely polarising. When I’m in the good weeks of the cycle I’m so happy and positive to the point I have no memory of what it’s like to be in the bad part and I am convinced it’s over. When I’m in the bad weeks, it’s the opposite - I forget what the good weeks were like and think it’ll never be over. You can actually see how polarised I’ve been if you check the history of my postings, I’ve posted numerous times about how I’ve recovered or almost recovered, followed by posts of how I haven’t (lol).

To leave on a positive note, it’s entirely possible that if I zoom out and look at my timeline since Jan 2022, progress and recovery is happening, but it’s so slow and gradual in its nature that I’m not seeing the difference between these cycles that I’m talking about.

I see a lot of advice about supplementing magnesium floating around. I already tried supplementing it last year, 400mg daily for over 2 months and nothing changed so I’m not inclined to try it again to be honest.

Perhaps you should cut out the partying and drinking. I know that’s fun but you really gotta weigh if it’s worth risking your sanity.

Do you remember what kind of magnesium you were taking. There are quite a lot of variants with some being more easily absorbed than others. Ive found magnesium glycinate ( aka magnesium bisglycinate) to work fairly well.

For me, I can’t take more than 200mg a day without it have a laxative effect. Meaning I’m getting a lot of mag in my diet. If you were able to take 400mg daily for 2 months without having a laxative effect there is an issue somewhere

If you dont want to take your vitamins and minerals, then I guess don’t take it. I can’t force you to take your nutrients lol. Even if it doesn’t help you with LTC, it’s just a basic health standard. Its extremely silly to me people have this kind of reaction. I’m not trying to pick on you specifically, for some reason this is a common response

 

[Deep_Fried]

Perhaps you should cut out the partying and drinking.

I second that - whenever I decided to drink just one beer I paid dearly. When one is having weeks of feeling totally normal I´d guess one is very close to being fully recovered.

 

[Richi1]

Perhaps you should cut out the partying and drinking. I know that’s fun but you really gotta weigh if it’s worth risking your sanity.

Do you remember what kind of magnesium you were taking. There are quite a lot of variants with some being more easily absorbed than others. Ive found magnesium glycinate ( aka magnesium bisglycinate) to work fairly well.

For me, I can’t take more than 200mg a day without it have a laxative effect. Meaning I’m getting a lot of mag in my diet. If you were able to take 400mg daily for 2 months without having a laxative effect there is an issue somewhere

If you dont want to take your vitamins and minerals, then I guess don’t take it. I can’t force you to take your nutrients lol. Even if it doesn’t help you with LTC, it’s just a basic health standard. Its extremely silly to me people have this kind of reaction. I’m not trying to pick on you specifically, for some reason this is a common response

Appreciate the advise but your aggressive approach throughout the last few posts pushing mag as some glory solution when people that are in this deep are telling you it hasn’t had an effect is just slightly strange

 

[Swim222]

Hi everyone,

I haven't posted since about a year ago. Coming back simply to post this:

Recovery Story

I took ungodly amounts (20 tablets) of MDMA 1 year and 3 months ago.

I went through a full LTC with brain zaps, head pressure, tinnitus and heightened anxiety (and suicidal at the beginning phase).

I exited my LTC many months ago (before even reaching 1 year).

I recommend:
1. exercise;
2. WFPD diet (whole-food plant-based vegan diet). Because it's healthy and kind to all sentient beings on this planet.
3. a positive attitude.

Have faith! You will get there!

I also recommend you contact u/Iamthespiderbro if you wish to join his recovery chat group on Reddit. There are lots of great tips there to staying positive.

I probably will never come back here to Bluelight, so I am saying good luck to all, and farewell.

 

[Veebonacci]

Appreciate the advise but your aggressive approach throughout the last few posts pushing mag as some glory solution when people that are in this deep are telling you it hasn’t had an effect is just slightly strange

Continuing to party and drink after screwing your body over is not just slightly strange. It’s dumb. Hard to take your opinion seriously when you have that kind of rational. If you don’t think it works you can always just ignore me lol and if you think it’s “aggressive” that’s a you problem. never said it’s a glory solution. Again that’s a you problem. I’m just giving info and right now a couple of people are just trying it out. Worst case scenario, you get your vitamins and minerals. I would say its better to first make sure you have all your nutrients in order before going to something more serious like SSRIs but that’s just me

 

[Richi1]

Continuing to party and drink after screwing your body over is not just slightly strange. It’s dumb. Hard to take your opinion seriously when you have that kind of rational. If you don’t think it works you can always just ignore me lol and if you think it’s “aggressive” that’s a you problem. never said it’s a glory solution. Again that’s a you problem. I’m just giving info and right now a couple of people are just trying it out. Worst case scenario, you get your vitamins and minerals. I would say its better to first make sure you have all your nutrients in order before going to something more serious like SSRIs but that’s just me

The reason I highlighted the “partying and drinking” in my post is because I am still intrigued by the connection alcohol has with this condition.

When I’m having a normal week there’s no kick back from it, but there is when I’m having a bad one.
I didn’t mention it because I’m drinking and partying all the time or because I think it’s a good idea.

 

[Jabberwocky]

The reason I highlighted the “partying and drinking” in my post is because I am still intrigued by the connection alcohol has with this condition.

When I’m having a normal week there’s no kick back from it, but there is when I’m having a bad one.
I didn’t mention it because I’m drinking and partying all the time or because I think it’s a good idea.

Alcohol leeches huge amounts of magnesium and potassium from your body. It's because of its action at the kidneys.

So you discount magnesium, yet you see a recurrence of your symptoms when you engage in conduct that causes loss of magnesium.

Interesting.

 

[badooking]

There is quite a bit of info you can find out there on preg and HPA axis dysfunction. Heres one https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00213-022-06278-3

Anyways its easy enough to just test the levels and see if yours can be improved. I think later this year we are probably going to get the LTC cure in the form of Zuranolone (allopregnanolone) anyways. Its a GABAergic neurosteroid that will treat MDD, but I feel like for this LTC specifically its the cure because I remember all my symptoms would go away just with a benzo. I did not have anhedonia then though but I think Zuranolone will be able to treat that too.

 

[Richi1]

Alcohol leeches huge amounts of magnesium and potassium from your body. It's because of its action at the kidneys.

So you discount magnesium, yet you see a recurrence of your symptoms when you engage in conduct that causes loss of magnesium.

Interesting.

No I don’t see a recurrence of my symptoms WHEN I engage in those activities. That was my point. My good and bad weeks happen randomly - with no connection to “activities that cause loss of magnesium and potassium”. What I said is, those symptoms are absent even after drinking if the week is good, only when it’s a bad week can I not drink without repercussions. During a bad week the onset of symptoms isn’t WHEN I drink - they’re already present. Drinking just makes them worse later.

I’m discounting something that I’ve tried for over 2 months already pal. I take my multivitamins everyday, go to the gym and sauna 4 times a week and do meditation twice a week. My blood work also came back with normal levels of magnesium.

 

[Richi1]

There is quite a bit of info you can find out there on preg and HPA axis dysfunction. Heres one https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00213-022-06278-3

Anyways it’s easy enough to just test the levels and see if yours can be improved. I think later this year we are probably going to get the LTC cure in the form of Zuranolone (allopregnanolone) anyways. It’s a GABAergic neurosteroid that will treat MDD, but I feel like for this LTC specifically it’s the cure because I remember all my symptoms would go away just with a benzo. I did not have anhedonia then though but I think Zuranolone will be able to treat that too.

It’s all speculation tbh but I do agree with the theory that it could be related to the GABA receptor. How would one go about getting this medicine prescribed when it’s out?

It’s interesting you mentioned benzos - Xanax seems to not have much of an effect on me, even took 2g once. Just puts me to sleep.

 

[Norway]

So 11+ months in I made a dumb mistake. I've relapsed!! I got really drunk the other night and although the alcohol was good and made me euphoric I've relapsed. The anxiety especially. Does anyone know if this is rather a quick recovery to baseline? I'd only recovered partially but my anxiety was a lot lower before this.

 

[Richi1]

So 11+ months in I made a dumb mistake. I've relapsed!! I got really drunk the other night and although the alcohol was good and made me euphoric I've relapsed. The anxiety especially. Does anyone know if this is rather a quick recovery to baseline? I'd only recovered partially but my anxiety was a lot lower before this.

You’ll be fine. At month 11 alcohol would essentially give me anywhere between a 1-4 week “plunge down” where symptoms resurfaced. You might be different though

I’m at a pretty strange point where my relapses have no bearing on whether I drink or take any drugs, it’s just random.

But I’m going to let go of this stubborn “I’m not going to let this LTC control me” attitude and adopt a clean living, eating healthy and sleeping well lifestyle. I think we should just stay alcohol free for at least the next year if not longer.

 

[Jabberwocky]

It’s all speculation tbh but I do agree with the theory that it could be related to the GABA receptor. How would one go about getting this medicine prescribed when it’s out?

It’s interesting you mentioned benzos - Xanax seems to not have much of an effect on me, even took 2g once. Just puts me to sleep.

You didn't take 2 grams of Xanax, you'd be dead. You may have taken 2 milligrams, which is a normal dose of Xanax that puts people to sleep.