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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 5)

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ZeroLuck said:
What you can do about this finding is blacklist and whitelist products. If veggies and fruits are in the whitelist you can slowly start adding other foods. Some protein will be good, eggs, cheese, .etc
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Well that's difficult because there's a 3 day or so delay. So i'll have to only eat certain types of food for 3 days to see if it works or not. I know for sure i react strongly to sausages, bread, and fried food.
 
socrilus said:
@cotcha
I feel like things like GHB/Xyrem could potentially be really good for LTC recovery as a "reset" of sorts.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/21926421/
But no doc would ever give it....
Dont you think that could be helpful despite the addiction risk it gives the body a huge rest.
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I wouldn't necessarily say that GHB is all sedation - I believe there tends to be a neurotransmitter/dopamine rebound at some point as the substance comes out of one's system. This could cause some anxiety for some. I believe narcoleptic's are supposed to take Xyrem at night, and then the dopamine push helps them get up and stay awake the next day. Also, its very hard to get prescribed and is quite expensive. Something like 25 grand a year.

I think if there were benefits it could have largely to due with increased sleep (slow wave sleep) and growth hormone release, benefits which may be garnered with other drugs such as benzos (although there are certainly downsides to benzos, especially chronic use).
 
Looking back I have to say that the LTC really wasn't 'that bad'.

Reward system still seems to be intact in most LTC people--thats a big thing. DP/DR on its own doesn't affect reward system.

so for those of you who were like me and didn't have Anhedonia/emotional numbness type stuff or only had it briefly id say are lucky.

@cotcha

The idea of GHB reset according to the study is to only do like a 2 week cycle. GHB is less addictive than benzos right?
 
GHB is probably more addictive than benzos, depending on the dosage.

There is a particular GHB receptor, but the GABA-B receptor may alternatively be targeted with Baclofen. However, some people receive zilch for subjective effects from baclofen, myself included.
 
I did 1.5 pills of strong mdma pills (300-500mg) a month ago yesterday and I think I've come to find that I am now a LTC sufferer.
When I go outside everything doesn't seem right, actually all the time there's something different, I had this symptom for two weeks along with starbursting at night and seeing small black dots when looking at the sky. I twitch sometimes, I gained insomnia where I wake up every few hours panicking with my mind racing about how much I fucked up, I think about this constantly except for rare occasions in the evening where I don't feel normal but I feel a fraction of the person I once was. Nausea in the mornings and very low appetite and I think I also have ringing in my ears.
I haven't been to the doctors yet although I shall as soon as I can, I'm only 19 and in my second year of university so I constantly worry about that and how i'll never be the same again. A lot of my day is trawling through forums to somehow get a reason behind why I am feeling this way ect ect, reading about brain damage from 150-200mg is what has really fucked me up, although I cannot seem to stay off the forums for more than a few hours because it does somewhat alleviate some stress.
I think I've accepted I'll never be 100% again even though I am one month into my suffering, I am pretty much living a hell and am struggling to realise that this may be with me forever, I have exams next semester and the outlook is looking bleak, not sure what I'm looking for here I suppose some advice.
 
harpork said:
I did 1.5 pills of strong mdma pills (300-500mg) a month ago yesterday and I think I've come to find that I am now a LTC sufferer.
When I go outside everything doesn't seem right, actually all the time there's something different, I had this symptom for two weeks along with starbursting at night and seeing small black dots when looking at the sky. I twitch sometimes, I gained insomnia where I wake up every few hours panicking with my mind racing about how much I fucked up, I think about this constantly except for rare occasions in the evening where I don't feel normal but I feel a fraction of the person I once was. Nausea in the mornings and very low appetite and I think I also have ringing in my ears.
I haven't been to the doctors yet although I shall as soon as I can, I'm only 19 and in my second year of university so I constantly worry about that and how i'll never be the same again. A lot of my day is trawling through forums to somehow get a reason behind why I am feeling this way ect ect, reading about brain damage from 150-200mg is what has really fucked me up, although I cannot seem to stay off the forums for more than a few hours because it does somewhat alleviate some stress.
I think I've accepted I'll never be 100% again even though I am one month into my suffering, I am pretty much living a hell and am struggling to realise that this may be with me forever, I have exams next semester and the outlook is looking bleak, not sure what I'm looking for here I suppose some advice.
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Do you have anhedonia and or emotional numbness?

If not, then that is a really good sign because your recovery will be easier.

Is it just low mood anxiety dpdr etc?
 
socrilus said:
Do you have anhedonia and or emotional numbness?

If not, then that is a really good sign because your recovery will be easier.

Is it just low mood anxiety dpdr etc?
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I think I have a low mood most of the time and I'm not sure but I can only enjoy myself with friends at specific times of the day, I'm not sure if it is actually anhedonia I'll have to wait and see because of how short it is since I've felt like this. Everything just doesn't seem right and I'm anxious most of the time. I'm not emotionally numb but I can see to an extent where it might be there.
 
harpork said:
I think I have a low mood most of the time and I'm not sure but I can only enjoy myself with friends at specific times of the day, I'm not sure if it is actually anhedonia I'll have to wait and see because of how short it is since I've felt like this. Everything just doesn't seem right and I'm anxious most of the time. I'm not emotionally numb but I can see to an extent where it might be there.
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Not a doctor obviously but doesnt sound like anhedonia. More like low mood or anxiety causing it to be tough to enjoy things but your capacity still seems to be there right? Anhedonia is the lack of capacity to enjoy activities.

Low mood anxiety and dpdr symptoms generally have pretty good prognosis.
 
harpork said:
I did 1.5 pills of strong mdma pills (300-500mg) a month ago yesterday and I think I've come to find that I am now a LTC sufferer.
When I go outside everything doesn't seem right, actually all the time there's something different, I had this symptom for two weeks along with starbursting at night and seeing small black dots when looking at the sky. I twitch sometimes, I gained insomnia where I wake up every few hours panicking with my mind racing about how much I fucked up, I think about this constantly except for rare occasions in the evening where I don't feel normal but I feel a fraction of the person I once was. Nausea in the mornings and very low appetite and I think I also have ringing in my ears.
I haven't been to the doctors yet although I shall as soon as I can, I'm only 19 and in my second year of university so I constantly worry about that and how i'll never be the same again. A lot of my day is trawling through forums to somehow get a reason behind why I am feeling this way ect ect, reading about brain damage from 150-200mg is what has really fucked me up, although I cannot seem to stay off the forums for more than a few hours because it does somewhat alleviate some stress.
I think I've accepted I'll never be 100% again even though I am one month into my suffering, I am pretty much living a hell and am struggling to realise that this may be with me forever, I have exams next semester and the outlook is looking bleak, not sure what I'm looking for here I suppose some advice.
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Sounds like minor HPPD my friend....I have dozens of those black dots. Just take away from drugs and alcohol and caffeine and it should go away.... Otherwise you might end up like me!
 
socrilus said:
Looking back I have to say that the LTC really wasn't 'that bad'.

Reward system still seems to be intact in most LTC people--thats a big thing. DP/DR on its own doesn't affect reward system.

so for those of you who were like me and didn't have Anhedonia/emotional numbness type stuff or only had it briefly id say are lucky.

@cotcha

The idea of GHB reset according to the study is to only do like a 2 week cycle. GHB is less addictive than benzos right?
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You're right. People who suffer from anhedonia, emotional numbness and those associated plethora of symptoms are the people who require the real help.

I'm not saying its easy to live with physical symptoms such as HPPD, DP/DR and generalized anxiety, however living with a lack of pleasure, emotions, interests and all the things that make one a human is like living in hell.
 
Londonscouser said:
You're right. People who suffer from anhedonia, emotional numbness and those associated plethora of symptoms are the people who require the real help.

I'm not saying its easy to live with physical symptoms such as HPPD, DP/DR and generalized anxiety, however living with a lack of pleasure, emotions, interests and all the things that make one a human is like living in hell.
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I mean dp/dr, gen anxiety, low mood type stuff is *distractable* at least. Even HPPD I would say to an extent. There were a number of times where if I was immersed in some enjoyable activity in the LTC the symptoms would temporarily recede.

Anhedonia and numbness is a tough one. Im not really sure what treats it, maybe cotcha knows more. BPC-157 is a peptide that is hot in the nootropics community for stimulant induced anhedonia.

Maybe NSI-189 for emotions and anhedonia? But thats all based on anecdotal reports and is a research chemical which is tough to source or is from the depths of longecity.

Ketamine infusions are also supposed to target anhedonia according to the studies anyways. That is how they reduce suicidal ideation. I was never really suicidal in the LTC except maybe the very beginning. Even in studies of MDD, they often admit its not mood or anxiety symptoms that lead to suicidality. Its the anhedonia symptom. DP/DR is a potential side effect of ketamine, but I mean thats still better than anhedonia anyways to me.
 
MDMA very bad met a guy in a hospital who didn't remember his name took so much lol thought I should write this here.
 
harpork said:
I did 1.5 pills of strong mdma pills (300-500mg) a month ago yesterday and I think I've come to find that I am now a LTC sufferer.
When I go outside everything doesn't seem right, actually all the time there's something different, I had this symptom for two weeks along with starbursting at night and seeing small black dots when looking at the sky. I twitch sometimes, I gained insomnia where I wake up every few hours panicking with my mind racing about how much I fucked up, I think about this constantly except for rare occasions in the evening where I don't feel normal but I feel a fraction of the person I once was. Nausea in the mornings and very low appetite and I think I also have ringing in my ears.
I haven't been to the doctors yet although I shall as soon as I can, I'm only 19 and in my second year of university so I constantly worry about that and how i'll never be the same again. A lot of my day is trawling through forums to somehow get a reason behind why I am feeling this way ect ect, reading about brain damage from 150-200mg is what has really fucked me up, although I cannot seem to stay off the forums for more than a few hours because it does somewhat alleviate some stress.
I think I've accepted I'll never be 100% again even though I am one month into my suffering, I am pretty much living a hell and am struggling to realise that this may be with me forever, I have exams next semester and the outlook is looking bleak, not sure what I'm looking for here I suppose some advice.
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Constantly googling seems to be counterproductive, although hearing other people's success stories and advice can be helpful. Try to walk the line there, too much time googling can feed people's anxiety it seems.

My advice is practice mindfulness meditation (try an app called Headspace and also 10% Happier), do cardio and most importantly give it time. You will recover. I would get in to see your doctor about this, and don't be afraid of any medications that they recommend. Some people have great success with medications.

CY
 
Just wanted to say hello guys. Hope you're all doing well. I went from roaming the streets and puking in trash cans to a six figure job and I'm about to move into my own luxury apartment. Keep up the work guys and you'll pull through!
 
Keman said:
Checking in here again with some good news.

I would really, really like to recommend Wellbutrin or a similar dopaminergic antidepressant for you who are suffering from heavy DP/DR, brainfog, anhedonia etc. Please ask your doctor about this.

My cognitive functioning has bounced back from what felt like 10 % to about 80-90 % of the state it was before the LTC. I no longer feel distressed and anxious about my situation, but instead calmness, acceptance and an overall better functioning. Went from total insomnia to being able to sleep almost like before.

I'm combining Wellbutrin with therapy and supplements like zink, selenium and vitamine D3. What I still have left to work on is emotional numbness, low testosterone and slightly blurred vision. Will get an appointment to an eye specialist soon, I'll get back to you about how it went.

Take care guys and do not distress, take the necessary steps in the right direction, calm down and let time, friends and family be part of your healing process.

Peace
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How long did it take for you?
 
Hey everyone, I know I shouldn't be reporting in so early and such.
Has anyone been able to juggle university and an LTC, I know what steps I need to take with my health to make a recovery.
I understand there's a lot of stress with university but I fear that the stress of dropping out will kill me.
Happy New Year everyone, if anyone has been in my situation could we talk/send me a pm.
 
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