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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 5)

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Cotcha Yankinov said:
The symptoms you report certainly aren't specific to the adverse effects of MDMA - depression is common with chronic stress and.. Well.. LTCs are stressful, chronically. I would definitely pursue the doctor appointment, SSRIs can be a life saving tool for many with depression. However, there are many psychiatric medications that can be used for depression if SSRIs aren't the ticket.
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Thanks I am still scared that an antidepressant will have adverse effects. I had a major set back after taking birth control, which I never had a problem with prior to the ltc. I guess I'm woried the same thing will happen with antidepressants. But if they can help me get my life back I guess its worth trying.
 
LTCsufferer said:
Thanks I am still scared that an antidepressant will have adverse effects. I had a major set back after taking birth control, which I never had a problem with prior to the ltc. I guess I'm woried the same thing will happen with antidepressants. But if they can help me get my life back I guess its worth trying.
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It seems like these LTC symptoms can come from any sort of major perturbation to the neurohormonal systems depending on the person.

Just so you don't blame the LTC on the reaction though I read about Nexplanon and apparantly *even* girls who had no LTC and were totally normal suffered with issues. You may want to even see if theres some support group out there for girls/women with the problem.

I feel like A LOT more people who do MDMA are suffering with hormonal imbalances like low T, high/low cortisol, low/high E2 or other things but just do not feel the symptoms.

Even with propecia/finasteride. Its well known now that inhibition of 5-alpha reductase not only lowers DHT but also the conversion of *brain* progesterone to allopregnanolone which is a GABA agonist. However, even still only a subset of guys seem to suffer horrificly with sexual, cognitive, and mental hell.

And there are always ADs that arent SSRIs if the libido issues are a concern. Maybe even see a neuroendocrinologist/psychoneuroendo
 
LTCsufferer said:
Thanks I am still scared that an antidepressant will have adverse effects. I had a major set back after taking birth control, which I never had a problem with prior to the ltc. I guess I'm woried the same thing will happen with antidepressants. But if they can help me get my life back I guess its worth trying.
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If it's any comfort, oral contraceptives appear to lower serotonin and this could be responsible for the (underappreciated) adverse effects like depression/anxiety, whereas SSRIs have the opposite effect. Especially when given chronically.
 
@LTCsufferer

I have been taking Zoloft for about 6 months now, it's been 9 months since the night this all got set off. I had massive fear about them because of people on sites like this saying not to take them etc. Talk to your doctor about them as once I got over the fear (and the fact I'm on psychiatric meds) i believe they've been a helpful tool in recovery. Been feeling quite good these past few weeks.
 

Hey Yar0nin. It's been 3 months since my MDMA usage.. I rolled two times with pretty big dosages, with a space of 3 weeks between them.. I had DP/DR for a few weeks and felt very foggy.
Currently, I have tinnitus (mostly in my left ear) and I still have this light feeling of.. being out of focus? As if my perception isn't as sharp as before.. I feel a bit.. spaced out.. a bit.. lightheaded..
But my memory and cognitive abilities seem to be fine.

Does this ring a bell or maybe you have some advice?

(I rolled 230 mg, and then 230 in a capsule, 3 weeks later.. my only two usages)
 
Hey Yar0nin. It's been 3 months since my MDMA usage.. I rolled two times with pretty big dosages, with a space of 3 weeks between them.. I had DP/DR for a few weeks and felt very foggy.
Currently, I have tinnitus (mostly in my left ear) and I still have this light feeling of.. being out of focus? As if my perception isn't as sharp as before.. I feel a bit.. spaced out.. a bit.. lightheaded..
But my memory and cognitive abilities seem to be fine.

Does this ring a bell or maybe you have some advice?

(I rolled 230 mg, and then 230 in a capsule, 3 weeks later.. my only two usages)
 
Im going to be honest with brother,

7 years into recovery and I know im still missing some mental sharpness that I had from when this whole thing started. Ive accepted it as much as I can and working on becoming better everyday. My shit was bad though. I wasnt a functional human being for a very long time. but it seems like you didnt abuse the substance so your damages arent that bad and full recovery is not too far from you.

Its been a long time but I know from the bottom of my gut that I was significantly sharper. Today its been heavy on my mind, maybe with all the years of trying to feel like myself I got accustomed to the feeling of being less and I idolized my past life. Working towards being the PIMP i once was. Dont get me wrong im x1000000000 better and my struggles now are what everyone in the world is experiencing as oppose to the barely functioning person when this whole ordeal started. I guess that chip on my shoulder of losing for the last 6 years gives me the need to be the best in the room all the time.

Advice: Work out! it promotes neurogenesis and floods your body with endorphins. Youll feel better in no time
 
I get what you mean man. For the longest all I wanted was the zest of life back. I think my earlier post was about music too. I was an audio engineer and a dancer, Music just moved me. I couldnt feel anything for a very long time thus making it hard to navigate in the world.

Have you ever heard that saying "you become what you think about all day long." Focus on where you want to be bro. Understand that what you feel now is not permanent. Your brain rewires itself by your perception of who you are and the world. Focus on where you want to be and dont mind the small shit as much as you can. Just know youre going to recover. Now I just know ill be great.

Sidenote: Funny just now, coming to site gives me sense of what DP/DR used to feel like. Feeling somewhat detached writing this. Maybe that means something.

BUT I feel now. I got my love for music back and sometimes feel too much.

You will be ok bro =)
Keep your eyes on the prize.
 
yar0nin said:
I get what you mean man. For the longest all I wanted was the zest of life back. I think my earlier post was about music too. I was an audio engineer and a dancer, Music just moved me. I couldnt feel anything for a very long time thus making it hard to navigate in the world.
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How many floaters did you have and how long did they take to go away? Those and the Tinnitus are my main remaining symptoms, besides some twitching. Been a year and a half.
 
ADubbs said:
How many floaters did you have and how long did they take to go away? Those and the Tinnitus are my main remaining symptoms, besides some twitching. Been a year and a half.
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I find it funny how many people on MDMA forums blatantly DENY any possibility that MDMA can cause tinnitus.
 
Im pretty sure the main #1 reason of SSRI antidepressant fears/avoidance is sexual side effects and emotional numbing...

If it werent for those things im sure people wouldnt be as scared of them. And I have no idea why the pharma industry hasn't bothered rectifying this until recently when these drugs have been out for ages now. Idk how accurate it is but supposedly Viibryd a newer SRI sort of comes with a "Buspar" type of pharmacology as well which is supposed to lessen those sides.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vilazodone

Surprisingly I don't hear it being prescribed as much as the other common SSRIs though.

I also rarely ever hear talk of TCAs on here like Nortriptyline.
 
SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) inhibits the serotonin reuptake so the serotonin released from the axons remain in the synapse. Tricking the brain that you have more serotonin available but the its falls out and its not recycled (correct me if I'm wrong). Its more of a bandaid with bad side effects.
 
The floaters (HPPD) was one of the first things to go away for me. albeit I think it took about a year and a half too. Not certain on the timeline anymore but I'm certain it was one of the first ones to get resolved
 
Ok I'm truly fed up, visuals I don't care they are mild

what i can't stand is the soreness of the front of my neck and the pain on the bad of the neck extending to the sides and back on my eyes. please can someone help me here. What can I do about it, it's been a year now of fluctuating pain. I need relief
 
Update: roughly 3 months 1/2 since my weekend binge. I am doing slightly better since the symptoms started. I have seen many different Drs(GP and Psychiatrist). I have been perscribed 10mg of Celexa to help cope with anxiety and depression. Which honestly seem to be working. However, I am still having strange head sensations and my memory and cognitive skills are not like they used to be.

Whatever the case is I am slowly improving. I don't want to put a time frame on it but I am hopeful on my continuing progress. I am just hoping that I can make a full recovery.

Thanks for reading!
 
I really think a key and underreasearched link between LTC as well as other drug-med induced anxiety/depression lies in Allopregnanolone.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4057431/#!po=13.0952

Even Cannibis affects pregnenolone and allopregnanolone (which comes from preg-->prog--->allopreg.

I think to various extents and differently somehow MDMA, weed, finasteride, ciproflacin (antibiotic where some people get 'floxed') are doing something to allopregnanolone/ GABAergic neurosteroids

Even the company SAGE therapeutics is pursuing Allopreg replacement for postpartum depression.
 
^The experiment to run there would then be seeing how a cannabis CB1 receptor blocker/deactivator (Rimonabant) affects the various syndromes post-drug use. The issue would be that there could be hyperactivation of CB1 receptors in one region and hypoactivation in another, and rRmonabant could just worsen the hypoactivation/deficit region and that could offset the benefits of normalizing the hyperactivation region.

But I haven't actually heard reports of people trying Rimonabant so that's as of now an unknown quantity.
 
Cotcha Yankinov said:
^The experiment to run there would then be seeing how a cannabis CB1 receptor blocker/deactivator (Rimonabant) affects the various syndromes post-drug use. The issue would be that there could be hyperactivation of CB1 receptors in one region and hypoactivation in another, and rRmonabant could just worsen the hypoactivation/deficit region and that could offset the benefits of normalizing the hyperactivation region.

But I haven't actually heard reports of people trying Rimonabant so that's as of now an unknown quantity.
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Just looked it up. It seems like this drug was some antiobesity drug not approved in US due to psychiatric disturbances. Makes you wonder why accutane/fin were ever approved anyways...

Anyways, I actually do wonder what the effects of say *Pregnenolone* creams/supplements would be in an acute MDMA comedown. Its too bad that the dosing of Pregnenolone is itself kind of in a narrow range where too much pregnenolone also causes problems. Either that or stuff like Seriphos, if cortisol levels are high.

We have everybody talking about "postloading 5-HTP" cause of the simplistic serotonin theory. For all we know, the 5-HTP may be stimulating allopregnanolone in some people which then goes to normalize GABA-A and the HPA/HPTA axis right?

The only way to really find out is if researchers studied a group of people before MDMA administration and measured hormones. Then measured after acute administration perhaps every day until people recovered. That would indicate perhaps what is going on in this whole LTC syndrome. And would indicate what exactly came first.
 
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