MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 4)

[ADubbs]

Prior to my set back with the curcumin my supplement stack was:

5 capsules of sundown naturals omega 3 fish oil
30 mg zinc citrate
800 mg chelated magnesium
1 sundown naturals super B maxi complex
200 mg grapeseed extract
1000 mg Vitamin C with rose hips
1000 mg vitamin D
7.5 mg remeron (as needed)

Now I've just started to reintroduce:
1 capsule of fish oil
400 mg magnesium (before bed)
500 mg vitamin c (before bed)
B complex Vitamin

Think I'll leave it at that from here on out. Probably all placebo affect but whatever. Anyone else find any supplements that helped?

 

[Go Easy]

Fuck.

About 9 months in and got pretty drunk last night. Stupidly drank a load of espresso martinis (trying to lay off caffeine), but even worse, had about 3 lines of coke.

Slept all good and was fine until about midday today where I am getting intense panic attacks - reminiscent of the ones in the first few weeks of the LTC.... I'm hoping I'm not back to square one and that it'll pass soon.

Anyone else go through something similar along their recovery?

Cheers

 

[Amml]

Prior to my set back with the curcumin my supplement stack was:

5 capsules of sundown naturals omega 3 fish oil
30 mg zinc citrate
800 mg chelated magnesium
1 sundown naturals super B maxi complex
200 mg grapeseed extract
1000 mg Vitamin C with rose hips
1000 mg vitamin D
7.5 mg remeron (as needed)

Now I've just started to reintroduce:
1 capsule of fish oil
400 mg magnesium (before bed)
500 mg vitamin c (before bed)
B complex Vitamin

Think I'll leave it at that from here on out. Probably all placebo affect but whatever. Anyone else find any supplements that helped?

1,2g Lions Mane Mushroom daily
150mg 5-HTP once a week (to not disturb natural serotonin production)
600mg Rhodolia Extract per day
About 2-5g prepared Curcuma (not curcumin!) per day (with coconut oil, lecithin, black pepper and other spices)
1000 micrograms Methylcobalamin/day
Mixed B-Vitamins (occasionally)
30mg Zinc/day
CBD oil (occasionally)

I'm not actually feeling any big effects from them, but these supplements are known to improve brain function and stress response and some of them help with brain recovery.
To be honest, the only thing that really gets me out is taking the 5-HTP for a few days in row, but this isn't a long term solution.

Your other supplements sound good, but be careful with the zinc, take it at night or before breakfast, because high doses of zinc disturb the resorbation of iron, they are both adsorbed in the same part of the intestine.

 

[Go Easy]

I am losing the plot with the panic attacks. 25mg of Diazepam later and it is basically doing nothing...

 

[fnono33]

I consumed about half a pot of coffee about three weeks ago. For two weeks it was hell on earth again, even worse than the initial weeks of LTC. Now for the last five days I've been better than I ever was except for exterme fatigue and insatiable appetite. I can't stop eating. I could eat the entire fridge and then go out to mcdonalds for more. I think it's just a waiting game. You have to wait for your brain to re-adjust again. In a few days you'll be good.

 

[ADubbs]

1,2g Lions Mane Mushroom daily
150mg 5-HTP once a week (to not disturb natural serotonin production)
600mg Rhodolia Extract per day
About 2-5g prepared Curcuma (not curcumin!) per day (with coconut oil, lecithin, black pepper and other spices)
1000 micrograms Methylcobalamin/day
Mixed B-Vitamins (occasionally)
30mg Zinc/day
CBD oil (occasionally)

I'm not actually feeling any big effects from them, but these supplements are known to improve brain function and stress response and some of them help with brain recovery.
To be honest, the only thing that really gets me out is taking the 5-HTP for a few days in row, but this isn't a long term solution.

Your other supplements sound good, but be careful with the zinc, take it at night or before breakfast, because high doses of zinc disturb the resorbation of iron, they are both adsorbed in the same part of the intestine.

thanks, I'll have to look up interactions between lions mane and remeron. I'm headed back to the doc tomorrow, thinking of asking for clonidine or belsomra. Last night got 0 sleep even with the remron, ugh.

good news fnono, how's your sleep been?

 

[Amml]

I am losing the plot with the panic attacks. 25mg of Diazepam later and it is basically doing nothing...

Had the same issue about 4 months ago (my 7 month). Had this extreme uncomfortable feeling and I took about 15mg of Diazepam and it worked nuts! Being dead in this state would be a release. But to now Diazepam works again and has the same effects as before the LTC. It needs time but time is really the main thing in recovery

 

[fnono33]

thanks, I'll have to look up interactions between lions mane and remeron. I'm headed back to the doc tomorrow, thinking of asking for clonidine or belsomra. Last night got 0 sleep even with the remron, ugh.

good news fnono, how's your sleep been?

Yeah, I am grateful for this period of relative normality. My sleep isn't great. I added Trazadone when I was in hell five days ago. And it seemed to have made a difference. I get about 5 or 6 hours a night. I think I am back at the stage of small improvement each day. Its a big relief compared to the feeling of getting worse every day.

 

[ADubbs]

Yeah, I am grateful for this period of relative normality. My sleep isn't great. I added Trazadone when I was in hell five days ago. And it seemed to have made a difference. I get about 5 or 6 hours a night. But its way better than no sleep. I think I am back at the stage of small improvement each day. Its a big relief compared to the feeling of getting worse every day.

Glad to hear it! Maybe I'll ask about trazodone. I feel the worst I've felt since this all began after no sleep last night, and my tinnitus is raging and swooshing, my face is tingling like a catfish sting. I honestly don't know what to do anymore, I have obligations I have to meet but I know I have to stick to a routine to sleep. I had minor sleep troubles before all this but this is a whole new level. I've tried mindfulness, breathing exercises, I'm seeing a therapist....I hope I can sleep tonight because if I don't I'll be at wits end. I was doing so well to, but every fucking time things start to improve I relapse. I just can't catch a break. Sometimes I just want to quit my job and chill at my house until I'm better or burn through my savings lol.

 

[fnono33]

That's great that you can work though. I wouldn't be any good in an office. I would have to take a ton of Xanax each day I think. I would give anything to be able to work. I would think the more you work the faster your recovery. I would love to take my mind off this thing. I'm actually spending my savings now and it feels terrible.

 

[cserage]

That's great that you can work though. I wouldn't be any good in an office. I would have to take a ton of Xanax each day I think. I would give anything to be able to work. I would think the more you work the faster your recovery. I would love to take my mind off this thing. I'm actually spending my savings now and it feels terrible.

Get an easy job man!!! Like something that is involved with something you like doing. I love golf so I work at a golf course. It made working much more bearable. Also never ever ever drink caffeine or any kind of stimulant again if you can help it. I'm over a year in recovery (did a lot of MDMA like a big ol RETARD) and I feel pretty decent at this point regularly but everytime I have done a kind of stimulant I go straight back to hell where I can't even function properly.....so ya I am never touching a drop of caffeine again in my life.....we will all get through this guys....I am positive that five years down the road all the people in this thread are going to be feeling alive and well and grateful for the things they learned having to go through this. Life is so EASY if you don't have to deal with an LTC am I right?? We will get there no doubt about it. Anyways peace out bluelight this will most likely be my last post ever unless down the road once I recover fully I'll share some inspiration. DRUGS ARE DANGEROUSLY always be careful!!! You guys are all freaking awesome for fighting each and every day it's something only we can understand. Never give up!!!! ???

 

[ADubbs]

Get an easy job man!!! Like something that is involved with something you like doing. I love golf so I work at a golf course. It made working much more bearable. Also never ever ever drink caffeine or any kind of stimulant again if you can help it. I'm over a year in recovery (did a lot of MDMA like a big ol RETARD) and I feel pretty decent at this point regularly but everytime I have done a kind of stimulant I go straight back to hell where I can't even function properly.....so ya I am never touching a drop of caffeine again in my life.....we will all get through this guys....I am positive that five years down the road all the people in this thread are going to be feeling alive and well and grateful for the things they learned having to go through this. Life is so EASY if you don't have to deal with an LTC am I right?? We will get there no doubt about it. Anyways peace out bluelight this will most likely be my last post ever unless down the road once I recover fully I'll share some inspiration. DRUGS ARE DANGEROUSLY always be careful!!! You guys are all freaking awesome for fighting each and every day it's something only we can understand. Never give up!!!! ???

Thanks so much for your encouragement and good story, love to hear things like this. As bad as I am I feel more for Fnono. Hang in there man we are in this together.

 

[rorymullan]

Fantastic your feeling better! What were your symptoms and how long did it take for you to recover?

For me it was around 4 months. Still have slight tingling, and occasional DR, but my life is back to normal. I'm as happy and as social as I ever have been.

For the guy who took cocaine, I have done similar during a LTC, it followed by a few days after of heightened anxiety. Try to let it pass and it will. You haven't damaged yourself, your body and mind are just in high alert. Don't dwell on it and it'll pass.

I believe that LTC are Anxiety driven, it's just such a shock to some sensitive individuals to drain our serotonin. IMO it ain't damage. We're anxious people anyway, I had a friend who went deaf while taking MDMA, my other friend said, yeah .... just ignore stuff like that. Not something I can do, I dwell by nature.

It's only after treating it as anxiety that I improved.

Edit:

Symptoms where the works:

Anxiety off the charts- daily all day long panic attacks. Occasional breaks at night which where a godsend. I had to go to the toilet in work just to hold my face in my hands and wish this would be over. (Completely gone)
DR/DP - Couldn't recognise myself in the mirror, world seemed like a dream I was watching from the outside. DR lingers DP is gone. DR really ain't the worst if its mild.
Vision - Static (still there a bit - though my guess is it always was) - Blurry focus- after images- halos around lights - Peoples faces 'smoothing' when I was talking to them (This was the worst)(Everything but static gone)
Hearing - Strong tinnitus (Completely gone)
Pressure- My full left side seemed broken/ weakened. Intense tinging in my left forehead and from my left knee down to my foot. Felt completely off - like nerves where very badly damaged. Tingling lingers slightly- but strength is back to full.

Probably a whole lot more that I can't remember.

I've taken SSRIs. They worked very well.

 

[ADubbs]

For me it was around 4 months. Still have slight tingling, and occasional DR, but my life is back to normal. I'm as happy and as social as I ever have been.

For the guy who took cocaine, I have done similar during a LTC, it followed by a few days after of heightened anxiety. Try to let it pass and it will. You haven't damaged yourself, your body and mind are just in high alert. Don't dwell on it and it'll pass.

I believe that LTC are Anxiety driven, it's just such a shock to some sensitive individuals to drain our serotonin. IMO it ain't damage. We're anxious people anyway, I had a friend who went deaf while taking MDMA, my other friend said, yeah .... just ignore stuff like that. Not something I can do, I dwell by nature.

It's only after treating it as anxiety that I improved.

Edit:

Symptoms where the works:

Anxiety off the charts- daily all day long panic attacks. Occasional breaks at night which where a godsend. I had to go to the toilet in work just to hold my face in my hands and wish this would be over. (Completely gone)
DR/DP - Couldn't recognise myself in the mirror, world seemed like a dream I was watching from the outside. DR lingers DP is gone. DR really ain't the worst if its mild.
Vision - Static (still there a bit - though my guess is it always was) - Blurry focus- after images- halos around lights - Peoples faces 'smoothing' when I was talking to them (This was the worst)(Everything but static gone)
Hearing - Strong tinnitus (Completely gone)
Pressure- My full left side seemed broken/ weakened. Intense tinging in my left forehead and from my left knee down to my foot. Felt completely off - like nerves where very badly damaged. Tingling lingers slightly- but strength is back to full.

Probably a whole lot more that I can't remember.

I've taken SSRIs. They worked very well.

thanks for your story. The more stories we get up here the better we'll be. Did you have insomnia? For me this was the worst symptom....once I'm asleep I sleep for 4-5 hours but getting there is the hard part. I listen to mindfulness meditstion for sleep, bible on tape, read etc....I think it all helps a little. I've never been able to nap, sleep in cars or airplanes, only place I could ever sleep Was bed, hence why insomnia is bad for me I think.

The muscle twitches and brain zaps (zaps have died down some what) are bad too. I do agree a lot of it is anxiety based, although I bet there is some damage to our systems. Are you still on the SSRI, how long did you stay on it?

 

[rorymullan]

thanks for your story. The more stories we get up here the better we'll be. Did you have insomnia? For me this was the worst symptom....once I'm asleep I sleep for 4-5 hours but getting there is the hard part. I listen to mindfulness meditstion for sleep, bible on tape, read etc....I think it all helps a little. I've never been able to nap, sleep in cars or airplanes, only place I could ever sleep Was bed, hence why insomnia is bad for me I think.

The muscle twitches and brain zaps (zaps have died down some what) are bad too. I do agree a lot of it is anxiety based, although I bet there is some damage to our systems. Are you still on the SSRI, how long did you stay on it?

I'm still on the SSRI. Sertroline 100mg daily. I think I should have been on it anyway, anxiety is a family trait. I didn't have brain zaps, I have occasional clicking/depressureising in my left ear but I think thats probably unrelated. (Is this a brainzap? it#s not in my brain)

I had muscle twitches, but again I think thats hyper awareness. I think I might have always had slight muscle twitches. I guess I still notice this slightly.

I don't think there is any damage. I went through this 10 years ago over a 3 month period as a teen, didn't touch MDMA again until early June this year. I lived 10 years of complete normality in between (No MDMA but lots of weed - and occasional hallucinogens)- no symptoms- and have recovered again a second time now. It's terrifying, but the symptoms match those of extreme anxiety (Was much more intense the first time 10 years ago as well).

Since my first extreme LTC I have gone and had a great time at University, got a PhD, and got a great job.

You will recover, this will become a distant memory, and you may even be tempted to take MDMA again. Don't!

Sleep problems I had, I got my doc to prescribe me a script of zopiliclone for a few weeks. Helped a lot. I also got some melatonin off the internet after it was gone. You're describing me mate, can only sleep in bed. I have anxiety issues anyway. I have an active mind, tend to over think and dwell. 10 years ago when I last had a LTC, there was nothing on the Internet. It cleared up on it's own, and I forgot it ever happened. This time I have treated it as anxiety and used it to addressed issues in my life, I think it's done me alot of good now that I'm coming out the other side. It's allowed me to learn and address who I actually am.

Both times have been relatively short for a LTC (3 and 4 months) but I'm a positive person at heart. Try to stay positive and active. Socializing even when it seemed like hell is what helped me the most. Also staying the hell off here, reading horror stories and dwelling is not going to do any good. It's an anxiety loop.

I can also now smoke weed again without issue- a few months ago it would have destroyed me.

 

[Go Easy]

Thanks for the replies guys.

2nd day after the coke and the panic attacks are still there - just had one (5pm here) and it is just so reminiscent of the first few days of the MDMA horror.

I'm absolutely petrified.

 

[Amml]

I have a theory:
The most people that took MDMA and had no bad responses or comedowns experience it as something very positive and unforgettable. Maybe the things you experience on or after MDMA burn themselves very deep into the brain, both negative as well as positive feelings. This is maybe the reason why benzos don't work in LTC panic attacks, because the problem sits deeper, it's because of bad connected neurons. And when you experience a bad comedown, the reinnervation doesn't work propably and the network of new grown nerve endings is "wrong" connected, maybe also because the high cortisol levels inhibit a normal reinnervation, this is actually scientifically proven.
This is actually why I'm so impressed by curcuma, because it actually is proven that it protects neurons against cortisol induced stress and so maybe helps LTC sufferers to support getting normal again.

What do you think about that?

 

[Mikek11]

I have a theory:
The most people that took MDMA and had no bad responses or comedowns experience it as something very positive and unforgettable. Maybe the things you experience on or after MDMA burn themselves very deep into the brain, both negative as well as positive feelings. This is maybe the reason why benzos don't work in LTC panic attacks, because the problem sits deeper, it's because of bad connected neurons. And when you experience a bad comedown, the reinnervation doesn't work propably and the network of new grown nerve endings is "wrong" connected, maybe also because the high cortisol levels inhibit a normal reinnervation, this is actually scientifically proven.
This is actually why I'm so impressed by curcuma, because it actually is proven that it protects neurons against cortisol induced stress and so maybe helps LTC sufferers to support getting normal again.

What do you think about that?

In my case benzos worked profoundly for LTC panick attacks. And curcuma,well it will not do much except for some possible GI upset which may lead to more symptoms of anxiety. The only herbal supplement that will somewhat help anxiety symptoms is high quality ashwagandha extract.

 

[Amml]

Sounds interesting, I actually never had negative symptoms from curcuma, even in extreme high dosages…

 

[ADubbs]

Sounds interesting, I actually never had negative symptoms from curcuma, even in extreme high dosages…

I came across a study (too lazy to cite) that said it was effective as Prozac in large enough doses.