(MDMA, Pot/ 2 hits and a joint) - second time trying Molly, but felt like DMT.

[Beastlyrj]

Alrighty, so I'm decently new to the whole psychedelics market. And I've been doing a lot of extensive research on a lot of these drugs trying to come up with answers about the feelings they have given me but I just end up with more questions. I've taken shrooms on 3 different occasions, taken acid and tripped on that a couple dozen times, snorted Coke a handful of times, adderall, dabs, kratom, and I've been smoking weed since I was like 13. However as far as X/Molly goes I've only tried that once prior to this time. And the first time I took it I took 2 hits, one 150mg hit, and another 150mg hit 45 minutes into my comeup. Last time I did this it was the perfect dosage. I felt better than I have ever felt in my entire life and honestly never thought it could get any better. And the first time I felt so good that I guess I didn't even think about smoking any weed with it. So about 9 in the morning today I made a run to my buddies house and picked up another 2 hits of Molly and enough weed for a large joint. After getting back home around 11 and after testing the Molly, I immediately took one hit (150mg) and as I felt I was coming up I dropped the other hit (150mg again) so about an hr after taking the first hit I took a walk into the woods and started to smoke the joint. I didn't even smoke half of it until I realized I was higher than I have ever been before. Usually weed doesn't effect me much due to my tolerance but it was like smoking for the first time all over again. After walking around in the woods for another 20 minutes I walked out into our huge 20 acre field and that's when I started to peak.
Now remember this is only my second time rolling, but I've tripped plenty of times and on two occasions have I ever had anything close to an ego death. The second time I took acid, and the first time I ever took any psychedelic, when I took an entire eighth of straight shroom caps. Now those two times I held onto my ego so much that those two trips were honestly like hell for me. I remember taking the eighth of shrooms and had to piss so I got up and walked out of my bedroom and the house I've lived in for 5 years looked alien to me and I got these voices in my head and this strange ringing noise that I couldn't stop no matter what.
Well back to coming out of the woods in the peak of my roll. I started having those weird voices in my head again, and the ringing came back but louder this time. It's like some weird alien in a UFO came and took me away and dropped me off in a different dimension. I was on earth, but a very different version of earth. It wasn't like acid where the world had this fake hue to it that makes it look funny and that it's moving around, but as if I was gifted with super human vision and hearing. I could smell everything and see EVERYTHING! Every little detail. But of course that's the feeling of Molly for the most part, but as the roll got heavier and the more my eyes opened the more I lost control of my thoughts, I didn't know who I was anymore. I knew what my name was and that I was a good person that every one liked, but that's it. I couldn't remember anything but what was happening at that moment. And I work as a diesel mechanic and the shop I work at is 2miles up a dirt road so I had this weird erge to go to work on my day off and see what's up. So I did, and even though normally it's a 5 minute drive it seemed to take 20 minutes. And when I got there the voices in my head took over. I had fully peaked on this roll. It's about 1:30 now and I'm at the mechanics shop hanging out talking to all my coworkers and even learned how to do a couple new jobs. But the entire time I was there, it's like someone else, a third party, had taken ahold of my mental steering wheel guiding me through my everyday life, telling me that it's all going to be ok. That we are all one in this universe and that there is no death, only existence. And anytime I heard the ringing is when I would be reminded of who I was and that I was going to be ok. I honestly felt like I was in some Alien world where you can use the full capacity or your brain. Weirdest, scariest, and best feeling of my life all in one.
But my question to all of you people, has anyone else ever had this same feeling? The weird aliens and voices are usually a direct effect of DMT or something as strong as that. And I've read on here that it's "impossible" to have an ego death on just Molly or weed. But this was my first true experience with letting go completely of my ego. I didn't know if there was someone out there that has had this same feeling or new of anyone's that has had the feeling from these substances. Honestly I just want to talk to someone about it who won't think I'm crazy!
Last thing that I just remembered and had to edit in here, I frankly remember these "aliens" explaining how they were able to show me all of these things!!!
They told me "We slowed down the world, so you can experience it all at once."
Thanks again for reading!!

Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_mdma
substancecode_empathogens
substancecode_marijuana
substancecode_cannabis
_combo_
explevel_secondtime
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
exptype_spiritual
exptype_difficult
roacode_oral
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled

 

[Kaleida]

Hey Beastlyrj, welcome to Bluelight and thanks for sharing your story.

What you describe sounds very much like I would personally expect a strong dose of MDMA and cannabis to go. I don't get voices talking to me, but I don't really get those on any hallucinogenic substance.... I'm much more likely to get visual hallucinations as a sign of starting to slip away on anything, including MDMA. The visuals it gives me are actually pretty wild too, a lot like psychedelics but more delirious - things like trees popping out of the ground, bushes taking the shapes of dragons and golems, and clouds turning into dancing rubber duckies and teddy bears. I've definitely compared it to powerful psychedelics like DMT before.

Don't ever let people tell you things like "it's impossible to have an ego death" on MDMA and cannabis. Well, first of all I should say that I have started to move away from terms like "ego death", which I find that people often mean different things when they say and leads to a lot of confusion... but I do believe that such terms refer to genuine human experiences, just ones that are harder to communicate in words, leading to all the mix-ups. So, in reference to such experiences, what I will say is that it is entirely possible to have them even without any drugs involved at all; such is the point of many meditative practices, like "reaching enlightenment". These kinds of experiences and realms of consciousness are always hidden within us, they're not just some drug effect, they just happen to be made more accessible by certain drugs that stimulate the same parts of our brains. Psychedelics like LSD and DMT are so powerful in this way that they are often capable of producing these experiences entirely on their own, but any drugs that touch upon the same feelings, like MDMA and cannabis, can bring them out just as strongly under the right circumstances, and especially when they're used in combination.

The fact that you were able to get to this headspace on MDMA and cannabis would suggest to me that you are probably just more sensitive to this effect than many, which I think your hearing voices might suggest too. I don't mean to alarm you with this, I don't think there's anything wrong with you, but hearing voices is also the most common type of hallucination in schizophrenia, and is thought to be linked to overly high dopamine levels in specific areas of the brain. I won't go too deep into this, but based on everything I've ever read about or experienced with substances myself, my biggest suspicion is that dopamine release in overly high amounts by psychedelics is also at least partly responsible for the mystical-type or out-of-body experiences they cause, so the fact that you are hearing these voices at those times would seem to fit with that quite well. Visual hallucinations seem to be less common than voices in schizophrenia, but I have also seen them described and usually as "cartoonish", which also fits with the visuals I see at these times pretty well.

So yeah, MDMA and cannabis may release less dopamine in this way than psychedelics at typical doses, but they definitely do still release it, so it would basically come down to an interaction between the drugs, your personal sensitivity to dopamine release, at least if this theory is correct, and the situation you were in (set and setting, which always alters your neurochemistry to some degree). I'm glad you were able to experience such a special convergence and to get so much out of it.

 

[Beastlyrj]

Thanks so much for helping clear my head about this situation! Even days after I still find my self getting lost in the possibilities of what just happened. Like what did I see? What was that? Was that good or bad? How did that affect me long term? All sorts of questions! Like I said, the more I try psychedelics to try and find answers for life, I just end up with more questions than answers. I just hope one day I'll get them all answered !!!

 

[Kaleida]

You're quite welcome, I'm happy to help! And I completely agree, as many things as psychedelics can show you they can also do even more to open up your mind to new possibilities, they're truly special substances. I'm not sure how close any of us ever really get to having all the answers, but I definitely intend to keep going back myself as well until I find out!

 

[pofacedhoe]

yeah mdma and weed can be the deepest.

glad you learned that we are all one. its so often not noticed