mdma may be responsible but Im not sure.

[eLW]

"Doctor~facepalm" aka MDMA has no potential? Fuck that doctor. And you knew when you took so much MDMA, or whatever it could be mixed with.

 

[Bearlove]

If I knew the risks at the time I would not have taken it. I do now. Im obviously never going to take it again. I also dont understand what people think they will achieve by telling me I was stupid to do this? do you think I dont know that? do you think I care what you think at this point?

This thread was just created to give a summary of my situation to MazDan. my OTHER thread was locked because I didn't give pro-mdma people time to spam their propaganda. So I created this one in an attempt to get that unlocked but I see I'm in the wrong forum.

So whatever, I'm over this. As you were...

Hey, Sorry - I didn’t know this post was meant to be a PM to MazDan? I (along with a few other people) was merely trying to help you from the information that you gave.

You say that your a logical person yet expect us to believe that you thought MDMA was a drug without any side effects (not wanting to sound rude but where have you been the last 20 years?)

What has the doctor said? What damage have you caused from your short (but heavy) MDMA abuse? I personally would be really interested to hear about this as I personally didn’t think this kind of damage was possible and thought that it was prolonged use that caused problems.

How is this affecting your daily life, do you have problems concentrating on other things (reading, holding a conversation, interacting with other people) etc

 

[Jewel]

Sorry you are going through this. Everyone has a different chemical makeup and therefore drugs will affect them differently. I know people who can smoke like 10 joints a day and still got their PhD and have successful academic careers- yet others whose memory is shot because of it. This isn't about pot, obviously, but it just goes to show you that everyone will have a different reaction to things.

Most people I know don't have the affects you have from MDMA usage, but that doesnt mean it doesn't happen. Something to think about is that the neurotransmitter serotonin, the same one that MDMA effects, has been shown in studies (studies not related to MDMA usage) to play a role in memory formation. I don't know too much about it- but I have read random articles on it. Maybe you've permanently (or semi-permanently) decreased the serotonin levels in your body which is why this is happening to you. Just a thought.

Have you tried taking an SSRI? If not, you might play with the idea and mention it to your doctor.

 

[AylaV]

-Somewhere during this my brain got fried. I can't remember what I did an hour ago. I don't remember anything that I have been studying for the past 2-3 years. I cant read properly. I can hardly to mathematics. I'm confused the whole time. The list goes on but the bottom line is I cant continue with my degree, and even basic daily tasks are a challenge and take 3x longer than normal.

Please bear with me and if you read any of this post, please read the third paragraph, ie the one that starts with "To be useful."

How long has this been happening? MDMA can cause long term side effects, but you have to take a lot. I did plenty of MDMA (ie on a daily basis) for several years. It took me a year or so to get my shit back together and I had similar problems like you describe. It should be noted that I was taking, from the sound of it, a lot more than you and even then it doesn't seem to be near the degree you are. On top of all this you have to consider that the effects to the degree you're describing were only present for a month or two at best. Currently I only have difficulty forming sentences at times, but my vocabulary is pretty much back to normal and I have no issues at this point taking classes for my own major (pharmacology). It's possible you have some odd predisposition to neurotoxicity from MDMA, but it seems unlikely.

To be useful, I suggest reading and exercise to help regain some of your apparent lost mental capacity. Piracetam and racetams in general have been show to improve cognitive functioning -- especially in relation to memory (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16459490 , http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10338102). I'm certain that if you started taking piracetam that your symptoms would subside. I'd at least be interested in hearing you report back on how it works for you. It would be great if this could help out others that believe their loss of cognitive function was related to MDMA.

 

[questforstarfish]

I'm so sorry to hear this has happened to you...it must be devastating Have you ever seen a show on television called "Mystery Diagnosis"? It's a series about different people from all over the USA who were suddenly stricken with unusual and intense symptoms and how they had to visit dozens of specialists and travel all over searching for an answer. Anyway eventually they find a doctor who finds out what the problem is, it's interesting how strangely often this kind of things occurs in humans. We don't know everything, and doctors (even specialists) don't know everything, unfortunately. My advice is keep seeing doctors. Visit as many specialists as you can and try to get to the root of this!

It may be a temporary thing caused by excessive drug use, it may be that one of your pills (or lots of them) were tainted, or it could be something different altogether. Keep searching, my friend, I wish you so much good luck! I hope you find your answer and regain your abilities- don't give up!

 

[jayjay77]

Believe me, I have met many people who are far more "handicapped" than you, and they lead perfectly fulfilling lives.

Although study might be a bit more challenging, that just means you're going to have work a little bit harder for what you want most in life. And that's going to make it worth so much more!

"mental funk." I discovered that the root of the problem was actually a sort of anxiety. The trick to overcoming most of it is to simply stop dwelling on it. If you really think your brain is damaged, there are more than enough articles out there explaining the various ways the brain is able to repair itself over time. Almost everyone that complains about mental impairment improves over time--yes it's true, sometimes this can take a couple of years [...] None of us made you take those pills, after all.

Firstly, what trip says is true: people from all walks of life encounter tremendous adversity and yet some persevere. Separating those that do from those that don't is a little personal factor affectionately known as 'determination' or 'will power'. Depression and anxiety stifle determination. You may be cognitively affected by MDMA but you don't have to be emotionally affected.

Second: studying, if indeed you are experiencing genuine cognitive dysfunction, will undoubtedly be more difficult. But you know this, yet you haven't changed your approach to studying. 'Chunking', as it's commonly referred to as, has proven to be a less effective studying strategy for the majority of the population; simply put, there are other, more potent studying and memorization techniques that significantly improve comprehension and memory retention--look into these. I'm a bit surprised to hear that a field-leading neurologist 1) facepalmed you (not only is this personally devastating but also incredibly detrimental to neurological recovery), 2) didn't recommend a language therapist, or psychologist, and 3) failed to provide any conclusive physical evidence of cognitive impairment. I mention this only because these are serious overlooked medical measures--this neurologist, while he may be at the top of his field in some particular speciality in neurology, may not have the extensive background necessary to treat your case. You might seriously consider another neurologist, especially one open to various alternative therapies and one willing to provide a more holistic treatment regimen.

Third: It's interesting just how pervasive and severe the effect of acute and chronic anxiety is. I myself know this well and can attest to many of the same cognitive difficulties you've been facing. Do note, I'm not trying to reduce you're apparent troubles to anxiety, but they are a factor and merit some weight. Reduce anxiety and depression, improve mood in the short-term and extensiveness of recovery in the long-term (mood serves as a critical element mediating neurotrophic environment; a supportive neurotrophic environment assists in regrowth and ameliorates current deficit). The brain does possess the inherent capacity to build upon itself in both a healthy and injured brain. Actually, in an injured brain, the regenerative processes are in a sense intensified (neuroplasticity/neurogenesis induced by brain injury in cases ranging from cerebral ischemia [stroke] to traumatic concussion to neurotoxicity from various substances, conditions, and environments). Neuronal generation in the healthy brain is more restricted, usually constrained to forming new memories. For example, while in a normal, healthy brain we see no evidence of axonal generation in the neocortex (an area responsible for higher executive functions), we do see it after brain insult, e.g., MDMA neurotoxicity in squirrel monkeys was more extensive at 18 months than after 6 months and after 7 years than at 18 months. While regeneration was not complete after 7 years, it was more complete and in large part entirely unassisted by any kind of regenerative therapy (no psychotherapy, no medication, no specifically supportive diet).

As I read your case I'm reminded of a study I read not too long ago, "Hippocampal remodelling after MDMA neurotoxicity: A single case study". The authors note, "Recent studies demonstrated that MDMA induces damage of serotonergic nerve terminals and alters hippocampal processing. Pronounced cognitive deficits in MDMA users affect learning and memory abilities [...] After 16 months of intensive neuropsychological rehabilitation she showed significant improvement in hippocampal-related memory cognitive functions, which correlated with normalization of her 18F-FDG-PET and remarkable hippocampal remodelling. This case report indicates that even non-chronic MDMA use may cause subacute toxic encephalopathy in which the clinical evolution is paralleled by neuroimaging changes in specific cerebral areas. The most relevant aspect is the reversibility of the volumetric changes, which may be the structural correlate of an ongoing hippocampal remodelling." (Nifosi, 2009). 3 months of studying seems hardly adequate for the change you're looking for... Additionally, in the vast majority of anecdotal reports the dysfunction becomes more tolerable not only because of an improvement in individual coping, but also a perceived reduction in cognitive deficits: a recent study on methamphetamine reports that an improvement in global executive function became apparent at 2 years after abstinence, but no such evidence was demonstrated at 6 months post-meth. Most significant to me is that one of the measures of recovery--performance on the RAVLT (a neuropsychological verbal learning test)--improved after 2 years but in other forms of brain injury, recovery of this particular function typically ceases after 6 months.

In all, the reasoning could extend for quite a long time. Most important is that you truly recognize the debilitating shortcomings of your current conceptual methodology, the established potential for structural and functional recovery after brain insult, and your own role in that recovery. I'm not attempting to pamper you, I'm not trying to comfort you, I'm correcting you. And I could give a damn about the promotion of MDMA; what I do care about is intellectual integrity and preserving, or in your case--resurrecting--human dignity. You are pathetic and you don't me need to tell you that for you to be well aware of it, but you don't have to be.

 

[MazDan]

my OTHER thread was locked because I didn't give pro-mdma people time to spam their propaganda..

NO. Your thread was locked because you came seeking answers and then had the hide to tell us what sort of answers you would accept.

Hence why bother coming here at all. What right do you have to waste our posters time and effort on you who doesnt want to have an open mind?

Many many people in here have tried to get through to you that there are other possibilities that you should consider. Nobody is saying mdma is not the culprit, only that its a possibility amongst many possibilities.

If you are so stupid that you dont want to consider all the possibilities then tough titties. You will probably be this way the rest of your life.

My personal belief is there is nothing wrong with you at all but that you want there to be something wrong and you want everyone to tell you there is something wrong so you can reinforce your own belief.

How do I come to such a conclusion? Answer.........the way your going on here in this and the other thread.

 

[Bearlove]

^I’m in agreement with you - this post seems pretty pointless.

The OP only seems to want to hear that yes you have brain damage and yes taking MDMA in large doses was the culprit.

It may have sparked off ADD or an already existing mental condition or something along those lines but without correct medical diagnosis were all simply guessing – it’s a horrible situation to be in and I hope the OP finds out what exactly is wrong and gets the appropriate treatment.

This post should just reinforce how dangerous Ecstasy can be and that testing your drugs and spacing out your rolls is the safest way to enjoy it.

 

[Angelz87]

I kno exacly what your talking about bud, one day I woke up and lost all control heart , mind, soul... It is a matter of time try to think straight is the best advice I can give you, if nothing seems to work what helped me take the edge off was perks and oxy they somewhat bring peace a mind. Eat healthy , vitamin help and it's a waiting game, your doctor told you have to get used to it! You take drugs now pay the price. I'm getting better everyday , I'm not quite there and my last roll was in mid November hopefully in a year il be recovered, I was worse then you I couldent even read and write, I did more e then you , I don't believe brain damage would show, but clearly e does make you retarded some people never return to normal, I believe ( to the rest of bluelight) you can space out your rolls but if your still slowly building tolerance, while your not 100% recovered, like any other drug.. It will bite you in the ass <~~~~