E, G, K & Weed -- Experienced -- Losing your beings control
k this is my 1st trip worth reporting so here goes...
Saturday night we had an afterparty at my house, as usual, nothing different. I've taken this combo before, too, so not sure as to y it was in fact so different this time around. (any advice is greatly appreciated)
at first, i only took half of a mercedes & probably a quarter of a cap of pretty potent G. I wasn't really feeling the effects of the half a pill, which doesn't surprise me since I've been rolling long enough for me 2b pretty damn immune to just half; but i was feeling the G only a tadbit. So I decided I needed more. I took (2nd batch) blue dolphin to intensify the roll. That worked for awhile, & then i gave into all the damn (peer) pressure & did a line of K. I'm not sure y exactly i was freakin' out so bad later on Sunday. but i do believe it had more so to do with the weed i smoked in the afternoon. but as i said, i have taken this combo before so was very astounded at how new this feeling of total & utter weirdedout-ness felt.
K to the actual trip in question here...
it actually started after i had taken my last puff of the j sunday afternoon. i felt totally (& completely) disoriented, paranoid up the f***ing arse & i couldn't sit still for more than about 10 minutes. looking back on it, i probably looked/acted like a friggin' tweaker. i kept walking around, just for the sake of keeping myself busy; not allowing myself to dwell on the evil thoughts swirling around in my head. i tried to talk on the phone, only to come out of the "conversation" frustrated & totally agitated because the person on the other end of the line kept asking me to repeat myself. i grew increasingly embarrassed of the fact that i couldn't conjure up a knowledgable, or even basic, sentence. i guess it was the state of mind i was in, more or less, that was the larger contributor to my head trip; which would make sense. i couldn't stop thinking about things that would occur in the future & how the state of mind i was in at that moment would effect the event. such as work & my upcoming trip (no pun intended) to california. i convinced myself (at that time) that there was no way i could complete either task because it was impossible for me to recover from that terrible (& terrifying) mindset i was in. yes, it was that bad.
i imagined my brain 2b pretty much a bunch of (wet) noodles at that point. i also believed that looking at my own reflection in the mirror would alleviate any paranoia i had about not being "in tuned" or in control whatsoever of my surroundings and/or actions. but yet another & totally unpleasant surprise--when i looked in the mirror & realized that even peering into my own eyes didnt help the situation, it got the worst. i started panicking!--to put it lightly my friends. my heart was about to leap out of my chest, my head felt as cloudy as a stormy day can get & i just couldn't calm myself down. i guess the feeling of complete & utter helplessness lead me to more so believe i would be forever lost in this tremendous stupor i was experiencing.
I believe in the notion that once you, yourself, feel as though u've lost your being's control, any other "side effect" of this immense realization is really minute to the previous feeling. basically, once this occurs, its all downhill from here folks...so get ready for the ride.
anyhoo, after everybody left the house & i was completely alone, i decided to hopefully acheive some well deserved (& tremendously needed) sleep. so i lay in bed ("sleeping", better termed in this case, as a coma) for about 6 hours. i somehow woke, throwing up whatever stomach acids were left after not eating & barely drinking for about 18 hours; what??? i was crackt the fugg out man! cant put anything in my mouth that wont cause me to gag at this point. after i puked/gagged twice, i felt pretty shitty. i usually always throw up at some point after taking G, so it didnt scare me too much. but then, as i was trying to grow accustomed to my surroundings i was amazed because i had actually come into a standing position somehow. i think it took me (what felt like) 15 minutes just to walk to my door, which usually takes a mere couple of seconds. Sober, that is. so that was interesting. i went to the bathroom, finally able to urinate after not completing the task all day; which for some reason always happens to me (elaboration requested please). while i was there, i also decided to attempt washing my face, since i felt dirtier than living in a pigpen would feel. this helped somewhat, even though at that point the mere sight of my reflection could have easily caused me to vomit. which is usually just in my own eyes, but thats what counts i guess...
i returned to my slumber & slept through til this morning. i wish i could say i feel better, but i'm still about 35% as weirded-out as i was last night. i'm left trying to decipher the events of the evening & what kind of fool i made of myself, to myself & others around me. i'm beginning to ponder that possibly the explanation i've been awaiting is simply that maybe it wasn't K i'd been putting up my nose; or that there was a little ingredient in the marijuana my friend forgot to mention. these factors would definately help me to understand why i felt the way i did. i also have recently read some other trip reports that involved meth & other substances i have never used, that seem to have made that person feel the same disorientation as i.
all in all, it was a very surreal & mind boggling trip that has made me ever so anxious to finally quit these damned devils---drugs that is...
[Edited title to comply with the forum guidelines -Splatt]
[ 26 December 2002: Message edited by: Splatt ]
k this is my 1st trip worth reporting so here goes...
Saturday night we had an afterparty at my house, as usual, nothing different. I've taken this combo before, too, so not sure as to y it was in fact so different this time around. (any advice is greatly appreciated)
at first, i only took half of a mercedes & probably a quarter of a cap of pretty potent G. I wasn't really feeling the effects of the half a pill, which doesn't surprise me since I've been rolling long enough for me 2b pretty damn immune to just half; but i was feeling the G only a tadbit. So I decided I needed more. I took (2nd batch) blue dolphin to intensify the roll. That worked for awhile, & then i gave into all the damn (peer) pressure & did a line of K. I'm not sure y exactly i was freakin' out so bad later on Sunday. but i do believe it had more so to do with the weed i smoked in the afternoon. but as i said, i have taken this combo before so was very astounded at how new this feeling of total & utter weirdedout-ness felt.
K to the actual trip in question here...
it actually started after i had taken my last puff of the j sunday afternoon. i felt totally (& completely) disoriented, paranoid up the f***ing arse & i couldn't sit still for more than about 10 minutes. looking back on it, i probably looked/acted like a friggin' tweaker. i kept walking around, just for the sake of keeping myself busy; not allowing myself to dwell on the evil thoughts swirling around in my head. i tried to talk on the phone, only to come out of the "conversation" frustrated & totally agitated because the person on the other end of the line kept asking me to repeat myself. i grew increasingly embarrassed of the fact that i couldn't conjure up a knowledgable, or even basic, sentence. i guess it was the state of mind i was in, more or less, that was the larger contributor to my head trip; which would make sense. i couldn't stop thinking about things that would occur in the future & how the state of mind i was in at that moment would effect the event. such as work & my upcoming trip (no pun intended) to california. i convinced myself (at that time) that there was no way i could complete either task because it was impossible for me to recover from that terrible (& terrifying) mindset i was in. yes, it was that bad.
i imagined my brain 2b pretty much a bunch of (wet) noodles at that point. i also believed that looking at my own reflection in the mirror would alleviate any paranoia i had about not being "in tuned" or in control whatsoever of my surroundings and/or actions. but yet another & totally unpleasant surprise--when i looked in the mirror & realized that even peering into my own eyes didnt help the situation, it got the worst. i started panicking!--to put it lightly my friends. my heart was about to leap out of my chest, my head felt as cloudy as a stormy day can get & i just couldn't calm myself down. i guess the feeling of complete & utter helplessness lead me to more so believe i would be forever lost in this tremendous stupor i was experiencing.
I believe in the notion that once you, yourself, feel as though u've lost your being's control, any other "side effect" of this immense realization is really minute to the previous feeling. basically, once this occurs, its all downhill from here folks...so get ready for the ride.
anyhoo, after everybody left the house & i was completely alone, i decided to hopefully acheive some well deserved (& tremendously needed) sleep. so i lay in bed ("sleeping", better termed in this case, as a coma) for about 6 hours. i somehow woke, throwing up whatever stomach acids were left after not eating & barely drinking for about 18 hours; what??? i was crackt the fugg out man! cant put anything in my mouth that wont cause me to gag at this point. after i puked/gagged twice, i felt pretty shitty. i usually always throw up at some point after taking G, so it didnt scare me too much. but then, as i was trying to grow accustomed to my surroundings i was amazed because i had actually come into a standing position somehow. i think it took me (what felt like) 15 minutes just to walk to my door, which usually takes a mere couple of seconds. Sober, that is. so that was interesting. i went to the bathroom, finally able to urinate after not completing the task all day; which for some reason always happens to me (elaboration requested please). while i was there, i also decided to attempt washing my face, since i felt dirtier than living in a pigpen would feel. this helped somewhat, even though at that point the mere sight of my reflection could have easily caused me to vomit. which is usually just in my own eyes, but thats what counts i guess...
i returned to my slumber & slept through til this morning. i wish i could say i feel better, but i'm still about 35% as weirded-out as i was last night. i'm left trying to decipher the events of the evening & what kind of fool i made of myself, to myself & others around me. i'm beginning to ponder that possibly the explanation i've been awaiting is simply that maybe it wasn't K i'd been putting up my nose; or that there was a little ingredient in the marijuana my friend forgot to mention. these factors would definately help me to understand why i felt the way i did. i also have recently read some other trip reports that involved meth & other substances i have never used, that seem to have made that person feel the same disorientation as i.
all in all, it was a very surreal & mind boggling trip that has made me ever so anxious to finally quit these damned devils---drugs that is...
[Edited title to comply with the forum guidelines -Splatt]
[ 26 December 2002: Message edited by: Splatt ]
