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MDMA Depression

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TheGoodGuy

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 23, 2016
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78
So it´s been 5 days since I last rolled i rarely use drugs so its been 7 month since last time before I rolled the 1st July.

So now I have been depressed for 5 whole days and I mean REALLY depressed/ suicidal the first two days i kept crying and felt like shit but I thought that is normal and have happened before.
so now I´m on my 5th day and I still feel like shit and am still suicidal but i keep reminding myself that its just temporary and it´s just some chemical imbalance in the brain that will pass soon.
besides from the depression it feels like i have a coat over my brain especially in my frontal cortex anyone know anything about this? Oh and I plugged about 400mg over a night so that was pretty stupid.
I try to eat so I have a calorie surplus and i use vitamins too and I seem to get a lot better after taking them I still feel like complete shit but they help, I used multivitamin, calcium, D3, ZMA and I have ordered some 5-HTP in hope that it will help. I also use protein powder and BCAA since I´ve read proteins are important in rebuilding serotonin. So have anyone experienced anything like this and know what to do? Does it just take time or am i damaged for good? Any tips to what i could do to heal faster?

OH also I try to get a little exercise like 30-60 minute walk and that seems to help too and I sleep a lot like 9-10 hours when i go to bed at night and then i take a nap later on a couple of hours. Thanks in advance I really hope you guys can help because it feels so terrible and sorry for spelling errors I´m not that sharp these days
 
You'll be ok man. 5 days isn't a long time. I felt pretty awful for about 3 weeks after rolling at a festival mid June. Now am starting to feel fine again. Have been doing the same stuff as you but for me exercise has really turned it around. I would suggest, if you're up to it, something more vigorous than walking. I think you need to get the heart rate up and sweat for a while before exercise starts really shaking up your brain chemistry (in a good way). Don't get me wrong, walking is good but it's almost not dramatic enough to really get things going. I'd been waking up feeling awful in the mornings the last week, then going for hard runs and feeling totally fine the rest of the day.

You'll be fine, it's only been 5 days, I think week long comedowns are pretty normal.
 
yeah i have had week long depression after rolling, it will pass relatively soon if you feel your symptoms are lessening in intensity.

400mg plugged in a night is a lot though man, this is a harsh lesson in my view for being pretty reckless.

don't stress too much about how fast your body repairs and gets back to a homeostasis now though. as it will heal itself.

of course there are some simple things to set into motion to help speed up recovery,

namely eating a clean balanced diet of whole foods, regular exercise will help with mood, get out in the sun, don't take any drugs, maybe supplementing with fish oil, and immune boosting herbal remedies like echinacea and olive leaf extract. the body's immune system can take a big hit from a night of mdma.

i think it could be helpful to welcome what you are experiencing right now, rather than try and get rid of that feeling of retchedness, get close to it, become acquainted, be friendly.

i hope you feel better soon. :)
 
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So many thanks for your answers. I will try to exercise more and i already use fish oils just forgot to mention it and good to know you guys have experienced something similar but this time it really doens´t feel like the other 3 times after using MDMA as I mentioned it feels like their is litterally a coat over my brain "not the cloud of depression" but litterally a thin cloud over my brain.

And yes it was a stupid dose I actually wanted to try only doing 100mg without any redoses to try and see how I would feel the day after, but after taking a 100mg each both me and my friend we only got anxiety "i guess because it was bad quality" and by then i had returned the scale i borrowed and we just eyebowled the rest "something i usually NEVER do" But I just am concerned if i will ever feel normal again because I feel pretty much the same now as i did 2 days ago so hopefully it will go away because I really don´t think i can take this for several weeks.

What do you guys think about me using 5-HTP when i get that? and would it be wise to double my vitamins so i would take them 2 times a day or would that just be overkill? Anyways i think i will take one last long walk for today and again thanks for your answers :)
 
Also I´ve had nausea since the day after I took MDMA and it´s really bad in the morning
 
I won't comment on the 5 HTP. I've been taking it just because a lot of people say to take it (that or L-Tryptophan). Most people seem to say if you're going to take it take EGCG (Green tea extract?) along with it. Impossible for me to say if it has helped me recover or not.

I felt constantly bad like you for about 2-3 weeks, now it has just improved quite suddenly. Honestly a week is nothing. It's natural to feel anxious that you have caused some long term damage but I really doubt it. From what I've read a lot of the people who suffer LTC have been abusing multiple times a month (a week sometimes) for long periods. You took a one off high dose.

Try to put off worrying about it for now. If you still feel like this in a couple of weeks you can worry then, for now just accept the symptoms as pretty common.
 
Yeah 1-2 week hangovers are unfortunately common. The "tuesday blues" or "take my life tuesdays" can definitely be quite the thing. Try to relax and wait it out - sleep lots, eat well and get in some exercise. You can try some mindfulness meditations and practice diaphragm breathing as well.
 
The depression goes over, but you can reduce the likelihood of getting it all by not redosing more than hour after dropping the first time and limiting your maximum dose to max 180 mg.
Also avoid frequent rolling and keep a healthy lifestyle.
 
cocaine usually makes me feel better in times like these, but I've been told that is not the answer to these sorts of situations.

I also rarely feel bad after MDMA weekends (mostly due to my cocaine habit I believe).
 
Thank you guys for you answers it really helps calm me down.
And I know how to use MDMA I was just stupid, i am the kind of person who researches about a drug month prior to taking it. And it was my plan to only use 100mg or maybe redose 1-1½ hour in

And drugs are just in general harder on me than others like i get drunk of 1-2 beers and im not insanely skinny i weight 143lbs/65 kilo and i am 5.7 tall/ 170 cm and i read a lot about people using MDMA for days or several times a week with 500-1000mg including some of my friends and they seem fine and i do 400mg in one night and i get such a bad comedown. I don´t even use drugs more than 2 times a year i don´t even smoke, drink or even use caffeine i only do MDMA 2 times a year or every 6-8 month so i guess i think it´s kind of unfair that I would have such a bad time now. But i did plug it so i got 100% of the drug so that maybe harsher for me that way.

Anyways thanks for your anwers i hope i will be better in the next week or two :)
 
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Bro I'm in the same boat thinking the same way as you, the first 1 week from not taking it anymore from a long stretch of using it for about 1 month straight in fragement guess it added up on me now I suffer the after effects. Feels good in a way to know that we aren't alone and trust me some people have gone far beyond you or me and have recovered. The first week it was suicidal thoughts, arm and chest tightness on my left side, fatigue, depression, brain zaps, palpitations which got to the point I called the ambulance because it felts so wrong for me when I never felt like the way I'm describing before. I'm about 3 going on 4 weeks this week in from my last use, I realize that I can smoke pot like I once did and I was an extreme toker with some high grade bud but the last time I tried a few puffs thinking it was behind me was my biggest mistake. I felt so into a panic it scared the shit out of me and since then I stopped doing it all. What I notice and what many should notice is writing down how you feel and seeing that you do get better helps, like I said above so many have gone threw way worse and have got threw it eventually. To me it's all mental and you need to love yourself and just find way to not worry as much and as hard as that sounds just like me I try to each and everyday seems like a fight to do so because I'm one anxious person now, my anxiety seemed to have elevated since this happened to me, and my depression comes and goes other than that all others symptoms have gone away. The more you worry the more you'll think you've gone something permanent. I got to the point where yesterday I went to the ER because going threw this made me stress and I couldn't help but wanting to know what was exactly wrong with me and this feeling was taking over my sanity. I love my wife and kids and couldn't help to think that I'm causing something that will effect me being the best for them, after everything at the ER they ran Blood work, head scans, chest x rays, EKG, and a urine sample to make sure everything was ok. Doc told me I could be severally depleted of serotonin and gave me Prozac and Xanax to help take the edge off. Since using the Prozac my breathing has regulated I'm guessing because stress was causing me to tense up my breathing and felt difficult at times,
first time today taking a Xanax because I felt so depleted and down and I'm mellow right now. The best bet bud is to try and stay in good spirits. I wish you the best and take it from me and many others things will get better just stay away from anything that could conflict a 100% recovery that's what I'm doing. No drinking, no pot, no caffeine and I literally cut back on things that I love because I love myself and my family more than to ever lose them. My best wishes to you and a speedy recovery.
 
Thank you sooo much for such an amazing comment I really hope you get better and I can see you have it waaaay worse than me. It is actually getting better now I haven´t had nausea today and i took the MDMA 1st July so it seems to get better also not as suicidal as in the first week. The only thing that bugs me now and it bugs me really much is the confusion and no one has answered me on that yet, i describe it as if i have a coat over my brain i even started to think if it was water retention but it´s probably not since MDMA only hold water when on the drug? But I can litterally feel somethings wrong with my brain as I describe as if it was covered with a thin coat of something i hope it goes away because it gives some confusion ALMOST derealization not quite though so I think my damage isn´t so bad but it still hard to concentrate like for example i like to go out on my balcony and enjoy the night sky but can´t really enjoy it since i still feel confused and not all there will it go away? it´s only been 9 days and you people usually say wait 2-3 weeks.

BTW I can see my problems are no way near as bad as with you and I really feel sorry for you and hope you recover. Also i didn´t abuse it I just was stupid to use about 400mg plugged in one night and that did the damage but i also have a very VERY low tolerence when it comes to drugs any drugs i even get drunk of 1-2 beers. I actually also thought about if they could see anything in a brain scan since i can litterally feel something bothering my brain but as many of you people in here have said including you "not to think about it" i try not to. Also it seems like a great idea to write it down as you mentioned since it can be hard to actually notice the small changes. But when i think about it there is just a little depression/suicidal thoughts left and that god damn "coat" over my brain
 
Ya bud it's a bitch and many people have different run ins when it comes to this, many have been so far stuck on it for months they feel literally nothing personally and within themselves, I also have a low tolerance I suppose because even in fragements id sometimes spazz out but never bad enough. What I know happened is I depleted the serotonin in my body because now with the Prozac I feel better than I usually do and my breathing is far more comfortable compared to constantly try catching my breath or feeling I couldn't breath correctly. Suicidal tendencies and depression is pretty normal as the drug can take its toll once it's done with the up effects, if you feel really concerned id visit a ER and simply tell them you've passed out a few times (i hated to lie) but it was the only way I could know 150% sure i was fine and wasn't something internal. Since then I mean the whole feeling aggregated on what I've done hasn't gone away but I'm guessing it like many others takes time to get better, it's not easy but the body is an amazing thing. Once I got the clear that all my works came back good as can be it was a relief and now it's just elevated anxiety and depression I seemed to have triggered since coming off the drug. Could take a while for me to get better but I dont lose hope because day by day the worst effects are as bad and gets easier day by day so again I'm grateful for that. Some people have said they feel a brain fog not sure if that's what you could be feeling, highly doubt it's anything severe but then again I'm not a doctor the best advice is visit a PCP (Personal Care Provider) or the ER never hurts to know forsure. It sucks and trust me I'm at that stage now where it's constant "Man did I fuck myself permantly? Will this ever go away? Will I ever be the same as before?" And those are things many people who have recovered have asked and later laughed about because it simply just took time.
 
Yeah I kinda think if i have fucked something up permanently but lets see in a few weeks if I have it better, and if I remember i will comment in here when it´s gone I recently read a post in here where a person complained about reading a lot about depersonalization/derealization but when people get better they just don´t write it in their thread so their are a lot of threads about people who "have ruined their life" because they never post back that they are now okay so I hope i will remember that IF i ever will be back to normal.

And it sucks that people have to lie in order to get help. I have been to a special doctor about my throat and my dad told me to exaggerate because I tend to make the problem sound smaller than it actually is and lying doesn´t come natural to me but I do get where you are going with this.

UPDATE: I can make a little update now. I don´t have nausea anymore or cry so i think the depression is almost gone even though their still are some suicidal thought but I´ve had that since I was 14 and I have always find comfort in thinking of suicidal when life take a rough patch like it have now. I feel some disturbings in my brain as i have described and have bad brain fog and I can sleep very long since i took the MDMA the 1st July like i can easily get maybe 8-10 hours where as before i just needed 7-7½. I will try and remember to update if people should experience the same as me and see there is an ending to it IF there is but i guess the worst is over and I hope to feel a lot better by next week. Also i haven´t eating any junkfood for 2 weeks and i get a lot of vitamins, proteins and go for an hour walk a day although i skipped the walk yesterday. Also if you experience depression "im talking to anyone" I find it nice to watch something funny and still be able to get a few laughs even though everything seems hopeless like watching a funny show Two and a Hald Men/ South Park, Futurama whatever but it´s really nice to laugh when really depressed and suicidal even though it´s just a small hehe a smile where your eyes still says "Im dead inside"
 
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