I used to work for a guy that had alot of sociopathic tendencies, terrible temper, totally selfish, used people for his own purposes, basically didn't give a fuck about anyone but himself.
He was always iniviting himself along when I would go out to the pub and none of my mates could stand him and it was embarassing.
Anyway this one week I was going out to a techno all nighter and stupidly mentioned it to him. Next day he had bought tickets for him and his girlfriend and was like can't wait i'll see you there.
Now this guy was about 20 years older than me and really didn't have a clue about the clubbing/drugs scene and this was a proper techno mash up type night. Everyone in the place would be getting on it in a big way and it always turned into a beautiful jumping sweaty mess.
So I spot him as soon as I walk in black trousers, shiny silky white shirt unbuttoned to the chest and pointy black leather shoes, he's not excatly blending in if you know what I mean and I can see few people are looking at him thinking who brought their dad?
He standing at the bar and he's seen me walk in so I better go and say hello, he buys me a beer and asks if I can get him any speed, as it happens I know a guy so I go and get him a couple of grams of pretty crappy speed, which him and his gf pour into their drinks and I make my excuses and get back to my mates.
We had all got sorted with our pills earlier and had dropped the first one of the night before we left for the club and were coming up nicely grinning like idiots and just chatting shit and doing that dancing on the spot thing where you know the right tune is gonna have you running to the dancefloor any second.
Must have been about an hour later and we are in the throng, the place is jumping, smiles and hugs all round, havin it large as I believe we used to call it, I can see my boss is still standing at the bar, back to his girlfriend who looked totally pissed off as he was chatting a mile a minute to one of the bouncer's who I think he might have known.
I catch the gf''s eye and beckon her over, she joins us and starts getting into the vibe, she's only 5 years older than me so it wasn't really a culture shock for her to be in a bunch of loved up drug fiends.
A bit later I see him coming towards us with a face like thunder, he grabs his gf's arm and starts ripping into her for leaving him on his own at the bar and not telling him where she was going, he was worried about her or some bullshit. Leave it out mate, I say, "she's just enjoying herself join us and have a boogie" but he drags her back to the bar and I don't really want to get involved in a domestic so I just say to my friends come on lets move, so we move way over to the other side of the club and decide to avoid the twat for the rest of the night.
So it must have been about 3am and I see a friendly face bouncing towards me through the lasers and waving arms, it's an old mate of mine, hugs are exchanged and he asks me if i'm after any pills, "nah i'm sorted thanks mate". "You'll never guess who i've just seen", he says, "that guy you work with is in the bar, yeah, I sold him 5 pills"
Oh fuck, I better go and check he is alright, he knows fuck all about e's i hope he hasn't taken more than one. It didn't take long to find them, right at the back of the club, her dancing on the edge of the crowd, giving it some, obviously loving it. Him standing about 6 feet behind her back to the wall sort of bouncing up and down on his heels, clutching a water bottle to his chest with both hands, sweating and gurning heavily with basically a look of terror on his face.
"How's it going, you having a good night?" I say to the gf. She turn's and wraps her arms around me and kisses me slightly too long on the lips "Yeah amazing, we got some pills, this music is brilliant", "How's S getting on?" I say "he's over there, go and check on him for me"
"How you getting on mate?"
"Yeah alright, we got some pills off your mate"
"Oh cool, are you enjoying it then, how you feeling, have you just took the one?"
"Yes mate pretty good"
"Are you sure, you look a bit worried?"
"Can I talk to you, somewhere a bit quieter?"
So we go the the chill out room and he tells me that he had tried to have a dance but felt really self conscious, a girl that he decribed as a hippy had tried to hug him and had told him to just let himself go, he really couldn't handle this and has been standing where i found him ever since feeling paranoid.
This is where he starts to tell me that, he doesn't feel like himself, he thinks he is not a very nice person, nobody really trusts him, he treats people like shit and is always telling lies for no reason, he says he should have been a better father to his kids and should treat his girlfriend better.
Now I am thinking, this is great, he's having a breakthrough here. Everything he is saying is 100% true and obvious to everyone that knows him, but I have never heard him talk like this before, he normally has zero self awareness, this could be great for him. So I tell him don't get too down on yourself mate, we all have our faults and all we can do is try to be better people.
Next thing he jumps up "Nah mate, it's this fucking shit that ive taken that's making me feel like this. Go and get L for me I'm phoning a taxi.
I sort of tried to talk him into staying but his mind was made up so I went and got his gf which was a bit sad because she really didn't want to leave, then went back to my mates and got back into it for the rest of a brilliant night.
Monday at work I asked him what happened after he left and he said he went home drunk half a bottle of vodka and crashed out, he would never be touching that shit again and had flushed the rest of the pills because he didn't want his girlfriend taking them again either.
Nowadays he likes to bosh about an eighth of shitty coke every weekend, which is a better drug for his personality type to feel good about themselves and thankfully I don't work with him or see much of him anymore.
So I guess that the point of this story if there is one is that I think yes mdma does have potential for helping sociopaths to see how there behaviour affects other people, but a club setting is probably not ideal and I guess that they really want to have to change, personally I think that deep down he has always known that he is a cunt but just lies to himself about it.