I was fortunate enough to get my hands on a fairly large amount of red TNT's that I was planning to eat at a rave. My friend told me when he gave them to me that they were MDA as opposed to MDMA. He informed me that they were more "trippy" than anything else, but I had done trippy rolls before and thought I could handle it. Boy was I wrong.
I ate a pill at 10:30 pm, before I walked into the party. Since I seem to have a "natural tolerance" for pills, I ate a second at around 11 pm. I then followed my normal procedure for rolling at a party: I sat down against a wall, closed my eyes and lowered my head. That was about the point where I blanked out.
What I assume was about 30 minutes later, I came to. I was no longer in control of my body, and I could barely form or hold an intelligent thought. I remembr holding a water bottle, but I forgot what it was. I remember taking a drink from it, but I forgot how to swallow. I remember getting a cigarette, then fumbling though my pocket for my lighter, but not finding it. Then I blacked out again.
Next thing I remember is a friend handing me another bottle of water before blacking out again. My mind came and went several times through the night. I would snap to in the middle of making out with a friend and not remember how the hell she got there. I'd snap to and find myself walking to the bathroom. The best way to describe it... it was like "Being John Malkovich". I was inside someone else's head, and I couldn't yet control that person.
By far the weridest experience of the night was when I decided that I had O.D.'d. I was completely convinced that I was dead. This was when little bits of my daily life went flashing through my head... waking up to go to work, taking a smoke break, sitting at my local coffee shop... it all seemed to pointless then. THe only thing I could think was
"Wow. I'm dead, and I wasted my entire life.". I was overtaken by a total calm, peaceful feeling. I had no fears of death. My only concern at that point was "Someone tell my parents I'm sorry I died, but I died having fun". That's about when I blanked out for the final time.
I was finally torn from my afterlife by a friend telling me it was time to leave. This friend had also eaten two TNT's. He also thought he was dead, only he wasn't taking it as calmly as I was. He geeked out. He was reduced to a whimpering ball by the time we reached our hotel room.
I have no doubt that I really experienced death that night. Slipping completely out of touch with the real world, mind 100% blank, forgetting all the petty things that happened, forgeting all the beautiful things that happened. I no longer have any fears of death, and I no longer concern myself with any kind of afterlife asperations.
Does this mean I will do that much MDA again? Hell no. Once I came down, I was sick as a friggin' dog.
Do I regret doing it? Hell no! That was a night I will always remember... even if I was unconsciensious for most of it.
Adios,
Steve
[title edited -mash]
[ 24 August 2002: Message edited by: masheadatronic ]
I ate a pill at 10:30 pm, before I walked into the party. Since I seem to have a "natural tolerance" for pills, I ate a second at around 11 pm. I then followed my normal procedure for rolling at a party: I sat down against a wall, closed my eyes and lowered my head. That was about the point where I blanked out.
What I assume was about 30 minutes later, I came to. I was no longer in control of my body, and I could barely form or hold an intelligent thought. I remembr holding a water bottle, but I forgot what it was. I remember taking a drink from it, but I forgot how to swallow. I remember getting a cigarette, then fumbling though my pocket for my lighter, but not finding it. Then I blacked out again.
Next thing I remember is a friend handing me another bottle of water before blacking out again. My mind came and went several times through the night. I would snap to in the middle of making out with a friend and not remember how the hell she got there. I'd snap to and find myself walking to the bathroom. The best way to describe it... it was like "Being John Malkovich". I was inside someone else's head, and I couldn't yet control that person.
By far the weridest experience of the night was when I decided that I had O.D.'d. I was completely convinced that I was dead. This was when little bits of my daily life went flashing through my head... waking up to go to work, taking a smoke break, sitting at my local coffee shop... it all seemed to pointless then. THe only thing I could think was
"Wow. I'm dead, and I wasted my entire life.". I was overtaken by a total calm, peaceful feeling. I had no fears of death. My only concern at that point was "Someone tell my parents I'm sorry I died, but I died having fun". That's about when I blanked out for the final time.
I was finally torn from my afterlife by a friend telling me it was time to leave. This friend had also eaten two TNT's. He also thought he was dead, only he wasn't taking it as calmly as I was. He geeked out. He was reduced to a whimpering ball by the time we reached our hotel room.
I have no doubt that I really experienced death that night. Slipping completely out of touch with the real world, mind 100% blank, forgetting all the petty things that happened, forgeting all the beautiful things that happened. I no longer have any fears of death, and I no longer concern myself with any kind of afterlife asperations.
Does this mean I will do that much MDA again? Hell no. Once I came down, I was sick as a friggin' dog.
Do I regret doing it? Hell no! That was a night I will always remember... even if I was unconsciensious for most of it.
Adios,
Steve
[title edited -mash]
[ 24 August 2002: Message edited by: masheadatronic ]
