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Making my New Years Resolution

Joey

Joey

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 22, 2015
Messages
6,801
I know theyre kind of lame to make, and so often fail but my resolution is to put my meth down, forever. Ive already quit drinking and all other drugs except pot. Its time to stop the meth once and for all. Ive been relapsed for a week or a bit more now.

i have one more bowl pack left to smoke. It is going to last through tomorrow and thats it im done start my detox jan 1 2021.

so thats my new years resolution. I cant do this anymore its gonna wreck me so bad, it is already.
 
So Im about 36 hours into no meth. I dont rven have my Vyvanse because I forgot to go to the pharmacy early yesterday and I feel fine! Normally by now Id be feeling off at least and absolute shit by worst but nothing! I actually feel great!

thats awesome
 
well done @Alex_1991 getting those first days is so fucking hard.

i am making a resolution to lose weight and get my drinking back under control. i am hoping to do january with no alcohol at all, then will decide whether i can risk drinking once a week, or should go back to complete abstinence. i know in my heart of hearts complete abstinence is probably better but with lockdown ongoing and the worst of winter to come i can't promise myself i'm completely done yet.
 
@Alex_1991 Best wishes in reaching your goal of kicking it for good.

I can't say I really know what it's like because my meth use was amateur hour compared to most here (8 months, only on weekends, insufflated, and not more than like 200mg) but even that went well past its best by date (by at least 4 months) so can empathise with how tough it must be.
I also immediately replaced it with booze so it wasn't necessarily a success.

I'm sure you can kick it! Half the battle is setting your mind to it. <3
 
This is awesome man! Good luck Alex and glad the first couple of days haven’t been so bad. Do us a favor... post here often updating and promise us one thing specifically. If you get a craving and feel like you’re going to crack, post here BEFORE you do and see if we can’t talk you out of it.

god speed my friend
 
SimplyTrinity said:
This is awesome man! Good luck Alex and glad the first couple of days haven’t been so bad. Do us a favor... post here often updating and promise us one thing specifically. If you get a craving and feel like you’re going to crack, post here BEFORE you do and see if we can’t talk you out of it.

god speed my friend
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I'll admit I had a fuck it moment today and thought “why am I even bothering” because I was sad about some personal shit but I made it through. Still going strong! Day 3!
 
chinup said:
fubs i think you're gonna get proven wrong AGAIN.

well done @Alex_1991 for your membership to the club of people @F.U.B.A.R. think are contrary enough for this to work as encouragement.
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Good stuff!!

You cunts always need a little tough love... ;)


But perhaps I'm judging others by my own weaknesses :(
 
SimplyTrinity said:
Good job. It should feel empowering every time you do that.
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Yep. I'll keep documenting my moments of weakness for you too. I'm in some gay apps and it's super easy to find people to buy off of and / or party with. I'll admit 3 times in my life I've flat out blown this one guy for a bag of meth.... It's fucked up.

I looked around one of the apps today, but I haven't done anything. I need to stop this so here I am on BL again for now and not in the land of the party boy twink man...

I need some real help lol it's a good thing I have a LGBT focused youth counsellor who knows all about this stuff. Harm reduction focused agency too it's awesome.. Gonna be sad when I turn 30 in may and no longer fit the agencies 16-29 bracket.. I won't be dropped right away but over some months there will be a transition to something else..
 
Alex_1991 said:
I need some real help lol it's a good thing I have a LGBT focused youth counsellor who knows all about this stuff. Harm reduction focused agency too it's awesome.. Gonna be sad when I turn 30 in may and no longer fit the agencies 16-29 bracket.. I won't be dropped right away but over some months there will be a transition to something else..
Click to expand...

Maaaaybe you won't need them anymore once they finally transition you out of there. :)
 
SunriseChampion said:
@Alex_1991 Best wishes in reaching your goal of kicking it for good.

I can't say I really know what it's like because my meth use was amateur hour compared to most here (8 months, only on weekends, insufflated, and not more than like 200mg) but even that went well past its best by date (by at least 4 months) so can empathise with how tough it must be.
I also immediately replaced it with booze so it wasn't necessarily a success.

I'm sure you can kick it! Half the battle is setting your mind to it. <3
Click to expand...

That's still a pretty serious habit!! If you only compare it to the most severe meth addicts then maybe it doesn't measure up, but that's still a really significant & dangerous meth habit you had there!

Alex_1991 said:
Yep. I'll keep documenting my moments of weakness for you too. I'm in some gay apps and it's super easy to find people to buy off of and / or party with. I'll admit 3 times in my life I've flat out blown this one guy for a bag of meth.... It's fucked up.

I looked around one of the apps today, but I haven't done anything. I need to stop this so here I am on BL again for now and not in the land of the party boy twink man...

I need some real help lol it's a good thing I have a LGBT focused youth counsellor who knows all about this stuff. Harm reduction focused agency too it's awesome.. Gonna be sad when I turn 30 in may and no longer fit the agencies 16-29 bracket.. I won't be dropped right away but over some months there will be a transition to something else..
Click to expand...

Dude, you NEED to delete those apps. If you have linked certain apps with chemsex then trying to use them without the meth is extremely unlikely to happen. You need to remove your triggers and it sounds like that could be a giant one for you. Don't make it harder for yourself than it has to be!! That aside though I congratulate you on adopting a really healthy change to your lifestyle. This is a great time to get clean. We just have to make sure we aren't like the countless people who have their New Years resolution be something like go to the gym or lose weight, and then by February they've already given up on changing. Normal people can afford to skip the gym or keep on eating the extra slice of cake, but since we're drug addicts the consequences for us of not sticking to our resolutions is far more severe, so we have to work harder than normies and not let ourselves down.
 
Rio Fantastic said:
That's still a pretty serious habit!! If you only compare it to the most severe meth addicts then maybe it doesn't measure up, but that's still a really significant & dangerous meth habit you had there!



Dude, you NEED to delete those apps. If you have linked certain apps with chemsex then trying to use them without the meth is extremely unlikely to happen. You need to remove your triggers and it sounds like that could be a giant one for you. Don't make it harder for yourself than it has to be!! That aside though I congratulate you on adopting a really healthy change to your lifestyle. This is a great time to get clean. We just have to make sure we aren't like the countless people who have their New Years resolution be something like go to the gym or lose weight, and then by February they've already given up on changing. Normal people can afford to skip the gym or keep on eating the extra slice of cake, but since we're drug addicts the consequences for us of not sticking to our resolutions is far more severe, so we have to work harder than normies and not let ourselves down
Click to expand...

That’s so true. And a common story. Meth me me is so bound up with a regime endless chemsex that has replaced any other kind of human intimacy. It’s necessary to kick both habits at the same time. Meth addiction totally consumes your life and totally changes the way you understand and experience pleasure. Consequently, getting away from it pretty much requires starting a whole new life since there are endless triggers in your old one. Part of the trick is being able to find new small and healthy pleasures in life. Walking to the beach with the dog for the sunrise is the first one i found. A bit of natural beauty and some exercise puts me off wanting meth for half the day at least.
 
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