I know i'll be unpopular with this idea but here goes:
Sex and sexuality. We're doing it wrong. Heterosexuality is nature's gold standard, anything else is a deviation and exposes the human mind to degeneration.. and it tends to spread like a mental virus once it gets a hold in a society, because that's what it is. Sex starts in the mind and ends in the mind. We spend far too much time releasing our energy too.. there is great benefit to moderating sexual frequency and using the energy for other purposes, but if release has to be done it should be done with a consenting partner of the opposite sex. Nature didn't design us for anything but that.
That won't sit well with many people in the modern era at all.. but sexuality in the 21st century has been dictated by pressures in the psychological establishment and social pressures coming from people with bias (their own sexual desires), and not from any real proper study into the human mind. It is therefore flawed understanding and not necessarily truth. There is no sin or guilt in any of this, this isn't a religious thing, it's just certain sexual practices aren't healthy to the mind and can lead to other external problems in a society at large.
Living in harmony with each other and the planet means going on what's immediately obvious to us, and that is sex/sexuality. It's why we're here, it's what we're for (procreation and fertilizing). Until we address it properly all other efforts are kinda in vain really because sex is central to our minds and is what motivates us in just about everything we do. We need a sexually healthy and mature culture where sex isn't perverted or commercialized but celebrated as a function of our existence, and done in a balanced way.
*prepares to be shot down*
I remember attending a counselling workshop once that was being held by a native woman from a First Nations support centre. On the white board she wrote many different things like abuse, gambling, addiction, etc... and then in the very middle she wrote "sexuality". She then went on to explain how one's sexuality is often the core motivator behind a lot of destructive or positive activities in one's life. There is some validity to what you say.
Where you and I diverge is on the issue of heterosexuality vs. homosexuality. I can't agree that heterosexuality is nature's "gold standard" and that homosexuality is a deviation from that. First of all, these terms are modern inventions. In most of the pre-modern world, sexuality was not defined by these labels and had a more fluid nature. People did not choose sexual identities, but rather adhered to filial duties. Furthermore, homosexual acts were accommodated in many cultures, without the demonization that is suffered today. For example, it was not uncommon for men to have sexually intimate relationships with one another, but then still fulfill their procreative duties by marrying women. Male-male sexual relationships were seen as important to the social order, and were something that women could not provide. Saying that heterosexuality is justifiably normal because it involves procreation completely alienates the social function that sexuality plays in a highly social and group-oriented species like humans.
When I lived in China, I had many men approach me seeking intimacy, but if I asked them if they were gay they would shun me. The reason is that in China "gay" is a western concept. As soon as you mention it, they think of colourful naked men dancing on floats in parades in the United States. The majority of adult men who have sex with men in China that I encountered were married to women. They were fulfilling their duty of having children but then did whatever they wanted on the side. In many ancient cultures, this was not a problem. No one cared who you were sleeping but it was taboo to not eventually have children.
So, while I agree with you that sexuality is core to a healthy world, my view is that we should do away with the labels and return to a more organic expression of our sexualities. Right now there are too many social rules about it, and arbitrary taboos that defy historical precedent. If I decide one day that I would like to be with a man, I should not have to then modify my identity as being gay or bi, because at some other point down the road I may decide to be with a woman too. And although I don't think men should be expected to sleep with each other if they don't want to, I do think that male sexuality is oppressed in the current order and there is a complete lack of mentorship. Men are not allowed to be sexually expressive around one another because it's "gay" and shameful. There should be NO shame around sexual expression. The shame is the problem, and causes the pathology.
IMO humans are just sexual, period, no labels required. The era before the Abrahamic faiths proves this to be true.