Mushoku_Sensei
Bluelighter
Background: 44yo female, 64 kg
No regular meds or known conditions other than propranolol on demand for tremors
Semi-regular abuse of tramadol, pregabalin, 2-fdck and various cannabinoids
Quite a few experiences with psychedelics
I've been waiting for this chance to trip once again for months. Since I don't get this freedom with my own family, I had to arrange for a 'time out' at my parents' place.
Unfortunately I lost the first half of my notes so I had to recover what I could...
13:25 100mcg 1p-LSD, my mom said she wanted to eat elsewhere, so I went ahead.
14:00 I feel the come up in the neck, different skin feeling, slight traces of objects,
14:30: feeling the come up stronger, patterns are flowing over my face,
15:00 I'm clearly tripping now, occasionally shivering, had to withdraw from mom cause she just won't leave and I'm already laughing about things by myself.
15:20 she finally leaves.
15:25 DXM 300 mg despite the nausea and headache I already have.
15:50 smiling like an idiot with tears in my eyes. Everything seems absurd.
16:00 Strange, my pupils are not huge. It's so nice outside, actually I've never been tripping in the day before - interesting! Thought I might go out a little - And I did! In bright daylight LSD seems like nothing
. If not for the shivers and wobbly knees and weird stomach I wouldn't know I'm tripping .
16:20 driving my car into the shadow and letting it air out a little. In bright daylight - without sunglasses
(no public roads involved). I can eat raspberries and little tomatoes... 100 mcg is probably not that strong but then it's hard to shine brighter than the sun LoL...
16:30 going back inside,
16:45 eating an apple from the garden, then even going for bread.
17:00 I keep eating - hunger vs nausea live! - and I'm amazed I can do it, hope I won't puke.
17:15 I really wanna try to meditate. I don't want this to be pure self-indulgence, I want it to be worth, so I'm going to do a CD-guided feeding the demons practice, this is what I prepared for. I'm removing pants and shirt, looking at myself: I'm ready. May this body serve me for several years more.
17:37 Meditation with focus on the body is very hard... Sweating, shivering, feeling massively miserable and sick, yawning like crazy. I'm on my knees. Nausea is strong... I can't meditate on the body... It's agony. Wait .. I'm fighting through this. Holding my head that feels like it's gonna blast any moment. I'm seeing what she says. The wisdom of her words is taking shape. The price I pay is felt. So heavily. But it's amazing. Forms and shapes are real. I'm moving , moved by pain, crying, following all the way through the CD.
19:30 looking at myself in the mirror I see a face so fat-free and wrinkled and my right temporal vein is standing out huge and sharp and looks so scary to me. I'm searching for Mom's BP meter. And I remember that this is a trip. Again I don't want this to be only self-indulgence. I want this to be work, to be worth, to save me
. I'm dropping on the bed crying. I don't want my body to suffer... Why am I doing all this? I want to cry, all those tears I never cried, I want to heal!!! My head hurts so much... people are being sweet to me online... I only wanna cry... My head makes me look for a bp meter.
20:00 I'm down. Main effects are over. What remains is a headache really, lingering feeling in my body and skin, slightly tracing visuals but that's it now. Didn't find a bp meter... Trying to fix it with water.
20:15 playing anatomy games with the mirror just for myself
20:25 the temporal vein is back to level. Still big headache.
21:15 Or maybe the trip comes back? Huge pupils are there anyways, the vein also comes back up (I hate that)... All the time I'm wondering what the DXM did and I am coming to the conclusion that it absolutely increased the body load (nausea, headache, bp), it probably added some sparkles and deep felt illusions (esp. on skin level), but in this case, my case, I didn't even get to feed it with weed and so it also didn't get to give as much as it could. That's because I decided to go on a trip and not just enjoy the ride... I don't think I will repeat this. The headache was also what made me give up on Ayahuasca a long time back. This is just not for me anymore.
21:50 bp meter found: 153/109 mmHg. .. this long after!!! That's goddamn much too high! That massive headache was a warning!
Definitely not gonna repeat.
No regular meds or known conditions other than propranolol on demand for tremors
Semi-regular abuse of tramadol, pregabalin, 2-fdck and various cannabinoids
Quite a few experiences with psychedelics
I've been waiting for this chance to trip once again for months. Since I don't get this freedom with my own family, I had to arrange for a 'time out' at my parents' place.
Unfortunately I lost the first half of my notes so I had to recover what I could...
13:25 100mcg 1p-LSD, my mom said she wanted to eat elsewhere, so I went ahead.
14:00 I feel the come up in the neck, different skin feeling, slight traces of objects,
14:30: feeling the come up stronger, patterns are flowing over my face,
15:00 I'm clearly tripping now, occasionally shivering, had to withdraw from mom cause she just won't leave and I'm already laughing about things by myself.
15:20 she finally leaves.
15:25 DXM 300 mg despite the nausea and headache I already have.
15:50 smiling like an idiot with tears in my eyes. Everything seems absurd.
16:00 Strange, my pupils are not huge. It's so nice outside, actually I've never been tripping in the day before - interesting! Thought I might go out a little - And I did! In bright daylight LSD seems like nothing
. If not for the shivers and wobbly knees and weird stomach I wouldn't know I'm tripping .16:20 driving my car into the shadow and letting it air out a little. In bright daylight - without sunglasses
(no public roads involved). I can eat raspberries and little tomatoes... 100 mcg is probably not that strong but then it's hard to shine brighter than the sun LoL...16:30 going back inside,
16:45 eating an apple from the garden, then even going for bread.
17:00 I keep eating - hunger vs nausea live! - and I'm amazed I can do it, hope I won't puke.
17:15 I really wanna try to meditate. I don't want this to be pure self-indulgence, I want it to be worth, so I'm going to do a CD-guided feeding the demons practice, this is what I prepared for. I'm removing pants and shirt, looking at myself: I'm ready. May this body serve me for several years more.
17:37 Meditation with focus on the body is very hard... Sweating, shivering, feeling massively miserable and sick, yawning like crazy. I'm on my knees. Nausea is strong... I can't meditate on the body... It's agony. Wait .. I'm fighting through this. Holding my head that feels like it's gonna blast any moment. I'm seeing what she says. The wisdom of her words is taking shape. The price I pay is felt. So heavily. But it's amazing. Forms and shapes are real. I'm moving , moved by pain, crying, following all the way through the CD.
19:30 looking at myself in the mirror I see a face so fat-free and wrinkled and my right temporal vein is standing out huge and sharp and looks so scary to me. I'm searching for Mom's BP meter. And I remember that this is a trip. Again I don't want this to be only self-indulgence. I want this to be work, to be worth, to save me
. I'm dropping on the bed crying. I don't want my body to suffer... Why am I doing all this? I want to cry, all those tears I never cried, I want to heal!!! My head hurts so much... people are being sweet to me online... I only wanna cry... My head makes me look for a bp meter.20:00 I'm down. Main effects are over. What remains is a headache really, lingering feeling in my body and skin, slightly tracing visuals but that's it now. Didn't find a bp meter... Trying to fix it with water.
20:15 playing anatomy games with the mirror just for myself
20:25 the temporal vein is back to level. Still big headache.
21:15 Or maybe the trip comes back? Huge pupils are there anyways, the vein also comes back up (I hate that)... All the time I'm wondering what the DXM did and I am coming to the conclusion that it absolutely increased the body load (nausea, headache, bp), it probably added some sparkles and deep felt illusions (esp. on skin level), but in this case, my case, I didn't even get to feed it with weed and so it also didn't get to give as much as it could. That's because I decided to go on a trip and not just enjoy the ride... I don't think I will repeat this. The headache was also what made me give up on Ayahuasca a long time back. This is just not for me anymore.
21:50 bp meter found: 153/109 mmHg. .. this long after!!! That's goddamn much too high! That massive headache was a warning!
Definitely not gonna repeat.
