Hey friends. I have some things I need to get off my chest. Since doing LSD 4 months ago, things haven't been the same. Not to say that it wasn't a great experience, however, I can't stop thinking about who I used to be before this. My thoughts have changed my anxiety and depression have skyrocketed. There seems to be a wall between me and the world. I can do things completely normal but there is this presence that I can't quite explain. Almost like my life isn't real.. I recently graduated from college and I get terribly anxiety over working thinking ill fuck up or I'm not good enough. I think about the things I used to do like smoke weed with friends and what a good time that was. Now, nothing seems to be right. Maybe I'm more aware of things than before. Everything just causes uneasyniess. I've thought about ending it a couple times but that can't be the answer. I likely wasn't ready to go down this road and it seems the acid has taken me places I wasn't prepared for. I can live with it but its difficult. I can be just fine in some instances and a total wreck otherwise. Thoughts?
Lsd
- Thread starter ayo
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pupnik
Bluelighter
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When you are young, and you still are young, you may fail to realize how great your condition is physically and mentally, but the lack of familiarity with "recovery from error" stymies and incapacitates young people -> so remember perfection is a direction not a reality. Keep on moving, towards it.
Become as dignified as you can be in your personal life and your affairs with others, and expect to encounter lots of mistakes along the way - your own and the fault of others as well; and be ready to recover from them with humor, interest and vitality.
This objective leads to excellence. This is the way to integrate your widsom.
Become as dignified as you can be in your personal life and your affairs with others, and expect to encounter lots of mistakes along the way - your own and the fault of others as well; and be ready to recover from them with humor, interest and vitality.
This objective leads to excellence. This is the way to integrate your widsom.
Clocktower
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That feeling is called derealization, and it's not uncommon for people to feel that way if they used LSD but maybe weren't ready for it yet (did you suffer from anxiety and depression before?). It's usually temporary. Consider seeing a therapist, they may be able to help you feel a lot better a lot faster.
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Sup ayo,
Started using LSD ~6 months ago, and im sorry you feel this way. i have probably dosed 5-10 times so far, and although i have had anxiety and worries during the trip, (just due to realization and exploration of myself) i have always woken up the next day refreshed and inspired. Have you considered that its possible that since you recently graduated and entered the working world, that could be the source of your anxeity? You really have just changed your life style, are introducing new people/work habits into your life, and might be overloaded with stress. Yes, it is possible that doing LSD has somewhat "woken you up" and made you feel like you life "isnt real" but maybe you should focus on your biggest stressers in life first, and try to combat those things first, before thinking about possible mental illness or damage due to LSD, which is very rare considering you dont do it all the time. Good luck with your problems, and stay strong. "Ending it" is never the solution!
Started using LSD ~6 months ago, and im sorry you feel this way. i have probably dosed 5-10 times so far, and although i have had anxiety and worries during the trip, (just due to realization and exploration of myself) i have always woken up the next day refreshed and inspired. Have you considered that its possible that since you recently graduated and entered the working world, that could be the source of your anxeity? You really have just changed your life style, are introducing new people/work habits into your life, and might be overloaded with stress. Yes, it is possible that doing LSD has somewhat "woken you up" and made you feel like you life "isnt real" but maybe you should focus on your biggest stressers in life first, and try to combat those things first, before thinking about possible mental illness or damage due to LSD, which is very rare considering you dont do it all the time. Good luck with your problems, and stay strong. "Ending it" is never the solution!
HeraclitusSage
Greenlighter
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- Mar 17, 2017
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Hi ayo,
Full disclosure: I am just pretending to be qualified to respond—but I will try to offer you support from my perspective.
It sounds like there may be a crushing conflict within you. Might this be causing your disassociation from reality or “derealization,” as Clocktower identified it?
Is it possible that the LSD reminded you of some conflict that was deep inside of you? Maybe a desire, hope or aspiration that encountered obstacles on every side?
You mention with regret becoming more “aware”. Armadyl pointed out that maybe a cause is your struggle with all the changes in your life. I am not discounting the possibility that the LSD might have caused the problem. But your work position does sound extremely difficult (to become very qualified); or maybe it seems unlikely that your position would ever change so that it could actually be your passion. Maybe your even wish that you never went to college—that you were never there—because it is so painful.
On the other hand, Pupnik also pointed out that “perfection is a direction”. I agree. Here is what that reminds me of: sometimes people respond to unhappiness that they are unable to cope with, by committing their life to a certain cause (such as a religious pursuit of love). The self-condemnation involved in ridged adherence to standards can cause a person to break from reality—especially if there is a revitalization of the original desire.
Maybe I’ve sinned and “missed the mark.” But is there is something you really want(ed) in life?
If so, Ill take another two shots in the dark: Say it out loud. Write it down.
Then take a few moments and lay on a couch. Imagine yourself inside, in a hall full of doors. But one door is a special door. It is a door of positivity. It looks different. Go ahead and open that door…and you see your future-self. Your future self is wearing a beautiful black robe, and facing away, looking into the distance. It is outside here. Your future self is standing at the edge of a vast scene of billions of stars in the horizon.
Go ahead and take some time and imagine that scene. Take some time to relax your body, and imagine it. Then go ahead and ask your future self if you can merge together…see what happens.
Peace ayo.
Full disclosure: I am just pretending to be qualified to respond—but I will try to offer you support from my perspective.
It sounds like there may be a crushing conflict within you. Might this be causing your disassociation from reality or “derealization,” as Clocktower identified it?
Is it possible that the LSD reminded you of some conflict that was deep inside of you? Maybe a desire, hope or aspiration that encountered obstacles on every side?
You mention with regret becoming more “aware”. Armadyl pointed out that maybe a cause is your struggle with all the changes in your life. I am not discounting the possibility that the LSD might have caused the problem. But your work position does sound extremely difficult (to become very qualified); or maybe it seems unlikely that your position would ever change so that it could actually be your passion. Maybe your even wish that you never went to college—that you were never there—because it is so painful.
On the other hand, Pupnik also pointed out that “perfection is a direction”. I agree. Here is what that reminds me of: sometimes people respond to unhappiness that they are unable to cope with, by committing their life to a certain cause (such as a religious pursuit of love). The self-condemnation involved in ridged adherence to standards can cause a person to break from reality—especially if there is a revitalization of the original desire.
Maybe I’ve sinned and “missed the mark.” But is there is something you really want(ed) in life?
If so, Ill take another two shots in the dark: Say it out loud. Write it down.
Then take a few moments and lay on a couch. Imagine yourself inside, in a hall full of doors. But one door is a special door. It is a door of positivity. It looks different. Go ahead and open that door…and you see your future-self. Your future self is wearing a beautiful black robe, and facing away, looking into the distance. It is outside here. Your future self is standing at the edge of a vast scene of billions of stars in the horizon.
Go ahead and take some time and imagine that scene. Take some time to relax your body, and imagine it. Then go ahead and ask your future self if you can merge together…see what happens.
Peace ayo.
Solipsis
Bluelight Crew
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- Mar 12, 2007
- Messages
- 15,509
In my experience, it can be disorienting and disillusioning to feel that one's life isn't real in the sense of riding on some track you completely believed in... it's heavier to be more aware of the many choices you have, to be more free than you thought you were in a way.
Often people don't like to be free, it's a burden to figure everything out for yourself and that can feel more 'lost'. But over time you should learn to adapt to actually being aware to your own life and the privilege of not not just passing through as a sheep.
I think it's probably the other way around: if life felt like it partially was on autopilot before and you don't know who you actually are if you have to make choices consciously... what is actually less or more real? Maybe it feels less real now, but being conscious about your own life seems very real to me.
Anyway the feeling can go away if you are able to build up routines that make things go on autopilot again. For some people, autopilot mode can get a bit impaired... yes: it's more work to do things manually, but you can also learn to see the beauty of that. Just reconsider your deeper motivations.
Often people don't like to be free, it's a burden to figure everything out for yourself and that can feel more 'lost'. But over time you should learn to adapt to actually being aware to your own life and the privilege of not not just passing through as a sheep.
I think it's probably the other way around: if life felt like it partially was on autopilot before and you don't know who you actually are if you have to make choices consciously... what is actually less or more real? Maybe it feels less real now, but being conscious about your own life seems very real to me.
Anyway the feeling can go away if you are able to build up routines that make things go on autopilot again. For some people, autopilot mode can get a bit impaired... yes: it's more work to do things manually, but you can also learn to see the beauty of that. Just reconsider your deeper motivations.