LSD Trip Explination

[thecouple]

For starters, this was my second time doing acid and yes it was 100% tested and proven. I will try to keep this concise and short. Seven of us were camping for my birthday and all took 2 tabs, as I had previously. My trip was fine, until it went down hill hard and fast. For about 1.5 hours, I was having the most negative trip of my life, I dissociated for the majority of it and I was talking about suicide, I had no concept of who I was, where I was, I could not hear people talking to me. My boyfriend carried me to the fire and I just regained consciousness there, after I wrote 3 pages worth of what I was experiencing. All I was talking about was suicide, I am not currently suicidal, I have no intention of killing myself. But I feel like this weekend I went crazy, I lost it, I was concerned that this was the time the effects were permanent. I felt spiders crawling all over me, I had scratches on my legs from the grass but I thought that they were self inflicted, I was convinced I was self harming. When I could see people I could only see them in a negative light, for their negative qualities. The last thing I wrote was, suicide prevention on my page, and the only meaning I can put to this, is that I need to pick a specialty for my schooling, but I wasn't thinking about that at all. I just want someone, anyone to relate, or tell me what to make of this. I worry that this experience will change me permanently, in a negative way. Should I even do acid again, at a lower dose? Is this what people call ego death? Thank you in advance.

 

[neurotic]

I had no concept of who I was, where I was, I could not hear people talking to me. (...) All I was talking about was suicide, I am not currently suicidal, I have no intention of killing myself. But I feel like this weekend I went crazy, I lost it, I was concerned that this was the time the effects were permanent.

sounds like a regular bad trip to me. i've had this "this time i'm going to be crazy forever" trip before. it left me with panic attacks for a while but it definitely did not change me permanently, if that thought is bothering you.

can you remember exactly what triggered fear in you in the trip? what are you afraid of now? should you be afraid of it? how can you overcome this fear? imo these are important questions to ask yourself when integrating a bad trip

this "having no concept of who I was, where I was" sounds like what happens on a solid psychedelic trip, at least for me. nowadays i don't even bother thinking about these questions while tripping - it doesn't really matter. anyway, this can be a scary thing when it happens. the ego - the force that creates the image we have of ourselves - does not like when the image is destroyed - such as when you have no sense of who you are.

if you fear that this trip is going to affect you forever or that now you're a little less sane than before, i can tell you, definitely NOT, as long as you don't obsess over it. the very obsession with 'am i damaged from that one trip' and 'am i going insane' will harm your mental well being... don't bother with it... it's the ego trying to make sense and rationalize stuff that it can't or doesn't like... well...

peace

 

[OceanBeach]

Not ego death, just a bad, very unpleasant trip by the sound of it. I wouldn't either rule out or decide to take acid again just now. It really sounds like you need to integrate the experience you had. This can be difficult but time will help. I'm really sorry you had to go through that, especially on your birthday. We all wrestle with darkness at times, sometimes quite unconsciously. Consider that darkness and maybe try to get to know it? Also, on a positive note, trust that you know that "you are back" now. I sincerely doubt that the "experience will change (you) permanently". If you do decide to trip again in the near future, it's probably a good idea to take a lower dose, yes.

Peace and light.

 

[thecouple]

The initial fear in my trip was triggered by, one other person who was having a bad time, it is like his negative energy was reflected on me. I felt that he was meddling in my relationship, that he was trying to break us up. I felt that it was inevitable i made the mistake of saying, "we need to take a break" even though that's not what i meant. I meant i needed a break from this trip i was over heating, i couldn't explain my feelings effectively. The fear was losing my relationship, we are buying a place, we move in a week and i was scared that it would be over before it happened.