From this trip I came to a number of realisations. Just two days after the event, I noticed a significant improvement in my happiness, my attitudes toward and actions around other people, and life in general.
Arriving at S’s place, I was greeted by his two dogs, B and C, in their now-customary fashion which consists mainly of jumping and trying to get a good solid lick in. Once when they had come to greet me I had made the mistake of lowering my face to them, which resulted in my teeth colliding with B’s — a most painful occurrence. Since then I have merely tolerated their enthusiasm upon greeting me, rather than sharing in their exuberance.
We spent the first part of the trip in S’s back porch area; it was enclosed by two walls of the house, a curtain made of some spare cloth, and a white sheet on the final wall making a screen for the projector. We dropped about an hour before sunset. When PS3 games were too much for us, we spent some time in the park across the street (which has a magnificent view of the bay). We watched the half-moon set over mountaintops, which was an experience of indescribable beauty. After this, we sat on the rocks with the tide just below our feet, smoking billies (that’s Aussie slang for bongs) and waxing poetic about life and the experiences we’ve shared together. That in itself was amazing, but was not the most important thing to happen to me this night.
After it got too cold to spend our time outside, we returned to our games on the projector, and later moved our expedition indoors (bringing the games with us, of course). We had just moved everything into the lounge room when I was presented with a problem: the dogs had made themselves comfortable on the couch most conveniently positioned for the TV. Thinking nothing of the gesture, I moved to shoo them away. It made sense; they were in the way, and I had learned through life that when dogs are in the way, you shoo them and the space is yours.
Not so.
I woke up C and gave her a gentle nudge. She grunted and looked up slightly, not seeming to get the gesture. I said her name again, a little more insistent this time. C looked at me somewhat incredulously and growled, as if I’d interrupted her from eating (which is The One Thing you really don’t want to do to dogs, as any current or past dog owner knows). At this point, B was positively glaring at me. I gave one final nudge, and seeing that C was most certainly not going to move for me, I gave up and sat beside them instead.
After a few more hours of gaming, we finally called it a night (as by this time there was daylight outside) and settled down to try and get some sleep. As I sat in the double-recliner with the footrest up, my eyes drifted downwards, only to meet with B’s. Her eyes stared intently into mine. I reflexively looked away, as I often do when being looked in the eyes, but I cast my gaze back upon hers to see that they hadn’t budged. B’s eyes focused into an accusatory look, as if to ask how I dared treat her sister in such an impersonal way. As I looked back, the back of my mind was racing. She was demanding an apology. B squinted; it was as if her eyes were screaming “Say it! Say it now!”
I could bear it no longer. I broke down into tears. I held my breath to keep quiet, and clamped my eyes shut. I felt sadness for having treated these two beings as somehow lesser, as not merely second-class citizens but as non-persons. I asked myself how I could possibly have arrived in this situation; how someone like myself, who had always had the intention of Good Being, could slip so low as to treat a fellow being in such a lowly manner. The answer at which I arrived was that such a state is no easy accomplishment, and requires a life of mindfulness — something that requires constant work and probably a lot of experience.
During this flood of emotion, B had noticed my change of state and had moved her head off my leg and back to the other side of the couch. She knew that her job had been done; she had defended her sister’s personhood, and in the process, taught me a lesson about coexistence with the life-forms I encounter on a regular basis.
This experience taught me that I should never treat any being as lesser. I still struggle with where to draw the line sometimes, but what I do know is that I cannot allow it to be anywhere near the razor of non/humanity I had previously used. If I had anything to feel happy about that night, it was knowing that getting a faceful of dog every time I turn up at S’s place was not simply some cosmic coincidence; but that I had through my own actions earned a lifetime of these two excitable sisters leaping up to greet me. It is my karmic debt to repay, and I repay it gladly, without hesitation or resentment.
tumblr post
Arriving at S’s place, I was greeted by his two dogs, B and C, in their now-customary fashion which consists mainly of jumping and trying to get a good solid lick in. Once when they had come to greet me I had made the mistake of lowering my face to them, which resulted in my teeth colliding with B’s — a most painful occurrence. Since then I have merely tolerated their enthusiasm upon greeting me, rather than sharing in their exuberance.
We spent the first part of the trip in S’s back porch area; it was enclosed by two walls of the house, a curtain made of some spare cloth, and a white sheet on the final wall making a screen for the projector. We dropped about an hour before sunset. When PS3 games were too much for us, we spent some time in the park across the street (which has a magnificent view of the bay). We watched the half-moon set over mountaintops, which was an experience of indescribable beauty. After this, we sat on the rocks with the tide just below our feet, smoking billies (that’s Aussie slang for bongs) and waxing poetic about life and the experiences we’ve shared together. That in itself was amazing, but was not the most important thing to happen to me this night.
After it got too cold to spend our time outside, we returned to our games on the projector, and later moved our expedition indoors (bringing the games with us, of course). We had just moved everything into the lounge room when I was presented with a problem: the dogs had made themselves comfortable on the couch most conveniently positioned for the TV. Thinking nothing of the gesture, I moved to shoo them away. It made sense; they were in the way, and I had learned through life that when dogs are in the way, you shoo them and the space is yours.
Not so.
I woke up C and gave her a gentle nudge. She grunted and looked up slightly, not seeming to get the gesture. I said her name again, a little more insistent this time. C looked at me somewhat incredulously and growled, as if I’d interrupted her from eating (which is The One Thing you really don’t want to do to dogs, as any current or past dog owner knows). At this point, B was positively glaring at me. I gave one final nudge, and seeing that C was most certainly not going to move for me, I gave up and sat beside them instead.
After a few more hours of gaming, we finally called it a night (as by this time there was daylight outside) and settled down to try and get some sleep. As I sat in the double-recliner with the footrest up, my eyes drifted downwards, only to meet with B’s. Her eyes stared intently into mine. I reflexively looked away, as I often do when being looked in the eyes, but I cast my gaze back upon hers to see that they hadn’t budged. B’s eyes focused into an accusatory look, as if to ask how I dared treat her sister in such an impersonal way. As I looked back, the back of my mind was racing. She was demanding an apology. B squinted; it was as if her eyes were screaming “Say it! Say it now!”
I could bear it no longer. I broke down into tears. I held my breath to keep quiet, and clamped my eyes shut. I felt sadness for having treated these two beings as somehow lesser, as not merely second-class citizens but as non-persons. I asked myself how I could possibly have arrived in this situation; how someone like myself, who had always had the intention of Good Being, could slip so low as to treat a fellow being in such a lowly manner. The answer at which I arrived was that such a state is no easy accomplishment, and requires a life of mindfulness — something that requires constant work and probably a lot of experience.
During this flood of emotion, B had noticed my change of state and had moved her head off my leg and back to the other side of the couch. She knew that her job had been done; she had defended her sister’s personhood, and in the process, taught me a lesson about coexistence with the life-forms I encounter on a regular basis.
This experience taught me that I should never treat any being as lesser. I still struggle with where to draw the line sometimes, but what I do know is that I cannot allow it to be anywhere near the razor of non/humanity I had previously used. If I had anything to feel happy about that night, it was knowing that getting a faceful of dog every time I turn up at S’s place was not simply some cosmic coincidence; but that I had through my own actions earned a lifetime of these two excitable sisters leaping up to greet me. It is my karmic debt to repay, and I repay it gladly, without hesitation or resentment.
tumblr post
