IntergalacticMagic
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 11, 2008
- Messages
- 167
I had a bad trip once from LSD. In summary I learned nothing, except that I *may* have lost something that I might never get back. Don't get my wrong, life for me is great and still mysterious, but this destructive and scaring experience did nothing but cause me pain and suffering.
Summer 2007
My friend and I had planned to trip all summer. I got my friend to score me 23 doses off his visit to the All Good Festival, or what I like to call, Drug Fest.
Anyways, before we were to trip he told me this girl was coming over. Which was great. I didn't know he knew this person, and he didn't know that I knew her from way back. It was going to be interesting to see how she was doing, or so I thought.
Anyways she comes over and asks what we are up to. I figure not lying is better than lying, so I tell her we plan to trip on some acid. Once she finds out she begs and begs for some. My friend handles it and says, no, you can't trip with us because we had the whole thing planned out, I'm sorry, definatly another time though.
I didn't see why she couldn't trip with us, but I did prefer a less is more trip with just one person I knew very well. Everything at this point seemed to be balancing out. Then she started fucking crying. I couldn't believe it. I felt like such a awful person.
My friend just kept saying these kinda 'white lies' that we didn't have any more and stuff. She looked at us, swore at us and swore that we were assholes and left hastily.
My take on Weed that goes into My Body
I usually don't smoke weed before anything. I don't always get 'wonderful' results from weed combinations like other people love to state. However, once I reach my peak then I am more than willing to combine.
Weed, for me, makes me feel paranoid, confused, and like a spectator. I am truly inside my own head on high doses of weed and find it hard to communicate what I'm thinking into words. I feel like weed has some sort of equation that works off whatever base (level of chemicals) you brain currently is running on. I find that if i smoke before anything special or even simply alcohol I just get a higher chance of more negative effects.
Anyways, I also have proven to myself that weed is the best possible drug to potentiate other substances with. This however, only is applicable if i wait until I reach the peak of a substance.
Anyways, back to the report
I have taken E before and I believe that exercising honesty leads to ecstasy. I
I looked at my friend and told him I thought the lies were not necessary and that we need to talk about that girl before we trip. He asked me if I realized she was drunk as shit. I was shocked, I had no idea. We both agreed we ultimately did the right thing, even if we had to make the decision for her, but deep inside of me, I felt sorry for her.
Then we both took 3-4 mild doses of LSD. We listened to classical music for an hour and talked about random stuff. At about this point my friend claimed if we smoked a small amount then listened to classical music we would become "ready and steady" to venture. We smoked maybe 1.5 bowls then each took another dose. After that, we leaned back and listened to the classical music and talked more.
Around 2 hours after the first administration I looked at my friend and told him I felt edgy. He just kept saying he wasn't couldn't decide if he felt it yet. I told him I felt confused. Simply, and purely confused. This feeling, this inconclusiveness, this unsettledness, this feeling of falling out and not knowing anything slowly accumulated to a greater and greater feeling of identity loss.
At this point we both sought resolutions to our problem. I asked him if we wanted to walk around outside and go to a park, and he asked me if he could meditate by himself for an hour. I encouraged him to go on a walk with my to the part but I told him to do whatever would heal him best. He said he would be in his room and if he could be alone for a little that would be best. He walked upstairs.
At that point I felt odd. I closed my eyes tried to get a grip. I couldn't. I couldn't understand how i was feeling. Nothing clicked. I felt completely empty and I knew it was because that girl ment what she said, even though I never knew her or treated her unkindly ever.
After i realized i was in the middle of a very serious and under estimated drug episode of controlled confusion I walked upstairs to begin walking to the park. Once I was at the top of the stairs I noticed a very very intense lightning and rainstorm ravaging our area. Easily the worst of the summer. I watched the rain pound the concrete in sheets of mist for hours. Nothing was clicking in my head. I couldn't form words, sentences. I could not practice describing what I was seeing because I was seeing through everything to point where i was seeing pure nothing. I didn't understand who I was and nothing seemed relevant, everything was simply there.
Eventually my friend appeared and told me he was for certain he was not feeling good. We both independently came to the conclusion the girl instilled some terrible "curse feeling" that the psychedelic expanded and multiplied. I told him I had to go, and he told me he was sorry. My reply was we need to meet once the LSD expires.
I drove home in my car. I know driving while intoxicated is dangerous, thanks erowid, but driving on MDMA/ LSD has never ever been a problem for me. Also, for anyone reading this, consider I had not experienced ANY visuals all night beyond a very very mild sort of "melting" of a wall with a non solid texture. I wouldn't drive if my vision was truly distorted.
Once i got home i went to the basement and shifted around like those people in time lapse videos. I was on the couch and off the couch. In bed and out of bed. I took two showers and I even tried to take my clothes off and lay in bed just to relax. Nothing worked. I felt overheated, anxious, confused and generally out of control. Eventually it was around 9am and I was still awake and I felt like my brain had been fried and had partially died, or shutdown.
Then my cell phone rang. It was my friend. I told him we should get some food and that I knew a good place. He picked me up and we drove to this real nice, albeit inexpensive, Jewish deli. We both talked about how the experience wasn't quite over and that we both pretty much lost our identities and opinions. He seemed pretty interested in the whole thing, like some kind of experiment, but I was worried and concerned. Somewhere in this conversation we discussed how we could tie in the feeling of leaving the garden of eden.
Eventually after a few cups of coffee I noticed nothing was making me feel any different and that I still felt confused, tired, and that I had lost some part of myself.
On the way back to the car we stopped to have a cigg smoke. We noticed this little sign in middle of someones ivy garden that said "Your're leaving the Garden of Eden". It was just this little metal sign maybe the size of one of those large rectangular apple monitors. My friend took it/ stole it from its proper place.
That sign reminded me of the movie Donnie Darko. Seeing it at that point in time had that weird and surreal feeling of being out of control and in control of something important. I just couldnt understand, my thinking was foggier than the worst weed stone cloud i have ever experienced. For some reason i believe that sign was important to me.
End of report
The only reason i included that bit about the sign is because that is what I was thinking at the time.
I have obviously become more cautious about when and where I take LSD.
Anyways. I still have not fully recovered from that fucking LSD trip. I have done LSD since that time and had nothing like this, but it didn't undo whatever the fuck this trip did to me. I really wish I did not smoke weed at all and if i could do it all over, I wish i would have just not taken any LSD either.
Since that trip I feel negatively rewired in,
-memory
-anxiety
-comfort/ calmness
-understanding/ foggyness
I know you need bad days to have good days, but this has left me with a deep scare. I caution those who take LSD because anxiety and memory loss isn't worth shit.
You better watch your step, trippers.
Summer 2007
My friend and I had planned to trip all summer. I got my friend to score me 23 doses off his visit to the All Good Festival, or what I like to call, Drug Fest.
Anyways, before we were to trip he told me this girl was coming over. Which was great. I didn't know he knew this person, and he didn't know that I knew her from way back. It was going to be interesting to see how she was doing, or so I thought.
Anyways she comes over and asks what we are up to. I figure not lying is better than lying, so I tell her we plan to trip on some acid. Once she finds out she begs and begs for some. My friend handles it and says, no, you can't trip with us because we had the whole thing planned out, I'm sorry, definatly another time though.
I didn't see why she couldn't trip with us, but I did prefer a less is more trip with just one person I knew very well. Everything at this point seemed to be balancing out. Then she started fucking crying. I couldn't believe it. I felt like such a awful person.
My friend just kept saying these kinda 'white lies' that we didn't have any more and stuff. She looked at us, swore at us and swore that we were assholes and left hastily.
My take on Weed that goes into My Body
I usually don't smoke weed before anything. I don't always get 'wonderful' results from weed combinations like other people love to state. However, once I reach my peak then I am more than willing to combine.
Weed, for me, makes me feel paranoid, confused, and like a spectator. I am truly inside my own head on high doses of weed and find it hard to communicate what I'm thinking into words. I feel like weed has some sort of equation that works off whatever base (level of chemicals) you brain currently is running on. I find that if i smoke before anything special or even simply alcohol I just get a higher chance of more negative effects.
Anyways, I also have proven to myself that weed is the best possible drug to potentiate other substances with. This however, only is applicable if i wait until I reach the peak of a substance.
Anyways, back to the report
I have taken E before and I believe that exercising honesty leads to ecstasy. I
I looked at my friend and told him I thought the lies were not necessary and that we need to talk about that girl before we trip. He asked me if I realized she was drunk as shit. I was shocked, I had no idea. We both agreed we ultimately did the right thing, even if we had to make the decision for her, but deep inside of me, I felt sorry for her.
Then we both took 3-4 mild doses of LSD. We listened to classical music for an hour and talked about random stuff. At about this point my friend claimed if we smoked a small amount then listened to classical music we would become "ready and steady" to venture. We smoked maybe 1.5 bowls then each took another dose. After that, we leaned back and listened to the classical music and talked more.
Around 2 hours after the first administration I looked at my friend and told him I felt edgy. He just kept saying he wasn't couldn't decide if he felt it yet. I told him I felt confused. Simply, and purely confused. This feeling, this inconclusiveness, this unsettledness, this feeling of falling out and not knowing anything slowly accumulated to a greater and greater feeling of identity loss.
At this point we both sought resolutions to our problem. I asked him if we wanted to walk around outside and go to a park, and he asked me if he could meditate by himself for an hour. I encouraged him to go on a walk with my to the part but I told him to do whatever would heal him best. He said he would be in his room and if he could be alone for a little that would be best. He walked upstairs.
At that point I felt odd. I closed my eyes tried to get a grip. I couldn't. I couldn't understand how i was feeling. Nothing clicked. I felt completely empty and I knew it was because that girl ment what she said, even though I never knew her or treated her unkindly ever.
After i realized i was in the middle of a very serious and under estimated drug episode of controlled confusion I walked upstairs to begin walking to the park. Once I was at the top of the stairs I noticed a very very intense lightning and rainstorm ravaging our area. Easily the worst of the summer. I watched the rain pound the concrete in sheets of mist for hours. Nothing was clicking in my head. I couldn't form words, sentences. I could not practice describing what I was seeing because I was seeing through everything to point where i was seeing pure nothing. I didn't understand who I was and nothing seemed relevant, everything was simply there.
Eventually my friend appeared and told me he was for certain he was not feeling good. We both independently came to the conclusion the girl instilled some terrible "curse feeling" that the psychedelic expanded and multiplied. I told him I had to go, and he told me he was sorry. My reply was we need to meet once the LSD expires.
I drove home in my car. I know driving while intoxicated is dangerous, thanks erowid, but driving on MDMA/ LSD has never ever been a problem for me. Also, for anyone reading this, consider I had not experienced ANY visuals all night beyond a very very mild sort of "melting" of a wall with a non solid texture. I wouldn't drive if my vision was truly distorted.
Once i got home i went to the basement and shifted around like those people in time lapse videos. I was on the couch and off the couch. In bed and out of bed. I took two showers and I even tried to take my clothes off and lay in bed just to relax. Nothing worked. I felt overheated, anxious, confused and generally out of control. Eventually it was around 9am and I was still awake and I felt like my brain had been fried and had partially died, or shutdown.
Then my cell phone rang. It was my friend. I told him we should get some food and that I knew a good place. He picked me up and we drove to this real nice, albeit inexpensive, Jewish deli. We both talked about how the experience wasn't quite over and that we both pretty much lost our identities and opinions. He seemed pretty interested in the whole thing, like some kind of experiment, but I was worried and concerned. Somewhere in this conversation we discussed how we could tie in the feeling of leaving the garden of eden.
Eventually after a few cups of coffee I noticed nothing was making me feel any different and that I still felt confused, tired, and that I had lost some part of myself.
On the way back to the car we stopped to have a cigg smoke. We noticed this little sign in middle of someones ivy garden that said "Your're leaving the Garden of Eden". It was just this little metal sign maybe the size of one of those large rectangular apple monitors. My friend took it/ stole it from its proper place.
That sign reminded me of the movie Donnie Darko. Seeing it at that point in time had that weird and surreal feeling of being out of control and in control of something important. I just couldnt understand, my thinking was foggier than the worst weed stone cloud i have ever experienced. For some reason i believe that sign was important to me.
End of report
The only reason i included that bit about the sign is because that is what I was thinking at the time.
I have obviously become more cautious about when and where I take LSD.
Anyways. I still have not fully recovered from that fucking LSD trip. I have done LSD since that time and had nothing like this, but it didn't undo whatever the fuck this trip did to me. I really wish I did not smoke weed at all and if i could do it all over, I wish i would have just not taken any LSD either.
Since that trip I feel negatively rewired in,
-memory
-anxiety
-comfort/ calmness
-understanding/ foggyness
I know you need bad days to have good days, but this has left me with a deep scare. I caution those who take LSD because anxiety and memory loss isn't worth shit.
You better watch your step, trippers.
