LSD-500-600ug? - novice - anxiety depression clarity

[Wu-tang killa beez]

A little back story.
I've gone through a lot of depression, anxiety, break downs and more due to events that happend when I was a child to early teen. Because of these events I missed years apon years of school and spent most of my teenage years locked in my room playing video games. One day when I was 18 I was forced to do something about it so I packed my bags moved to the other side of the country and started an apprenticeship. This apprenticeship has been the most difficult thing I've ever done in my life mentally and physically especially because I moved 22 hours away from anyone I know but it was the only way to get out of the hole I was stuck in.

Fast forwarding 3 years down the track to were I am now.

I have made serious progress with my issues, I'm getting on top of my anxiety and depression it took a lot of hard work and I'm not close to 100% yet but I'm able to live a normal life. I'm not a social person at all I just cant think of anything to say it feels like my mind is being blocked, like the wifi is turned off and I cannot access the information even with my GF who I'm 100% comfortable around I find it difficult to conversate and its the same with solving difficult problems.

Now a little drug history for future reference.

I've smoked a lot of weed throughout my life, I've done ice for maybe 6 months and it broke me I'm completely off that stuff that's another story in itself. I've done MDMA maybe 20 times in smaller and larger doses. And I recently got into LSD I have tripped about 20 times always the same LSD claimed to be 100-110ug although I feel it might be more around 70ug yet I have nothing to compare that to as this is the only LSD I have tried.I feel 100% comfortable and ready to try a higher dosage and I'm also pretty excited, set and setting will be my house, I live alone and I'm very comfortable here so I'm not worried about anything going wrong but ill get to that later.

The story I come to tell you.

So I started dosing 200-300ug every weekend for about 5 weeks up until last weekend (I'm on a break now) just recreationally but with intent to reset my mind and help me through the work week ahead. now I've started to notice a few postive effects my anxiety seems to have dulled down a noticeable amount, I barley feel depressed recently and I used to feel so drained about work and hated going but now I'm working 60 hour weeks and making loads of cash without any difficulty other then a bit of exhaustion lol. I'm a little bit more social which is big for me I'm having short conversations I feel overall happier and I feel like my mind is a lot less cloudy
It seems to me that the LSD has blasted open a door that should of been opened a long time ago or maybe its just plecebo I'm not sure.

So I had a few questions such as

I'm going to be trying a higher dose for the first time (500-600ug?) for the purpose of delving deep into my mind and seeing if there's more I can do in terms of anxiety depression and being more social, seeing anti depressants turned me into a zombie and didn't help my situation my plan is to meditate for the first time ever and just roll with it see what happens.
If anyone had any insite advice tips or tricks going into it that might help me id like to know because I feel I'm going in a little blind.
And does anyone have a similar story were LSD has helped them?
Do you think it is even possible or is it plecebo and a bunch of crazy talk?
I would apprentice any feedback.
Cheers.
Apologies for the long write up and bad grammer.

 

[pupnik]

the phrase "blasted open a door" is troubling me.

I don't think people make psychological progress by blasting anything.

progress is made by gentle consistency in the direction that is beneficial. For this a gardener's outlook is more what you want than a gambler's outlook.

Upping your dose significantly is a gambler's game. when you did Ice you were a gambler, now is the time to be a gardener.

 

[PassthatT]

For me the dose didn't matter for a large psychological change. 1000mcg of 1p and al lad mixed was just a black out and confusing and I only remember about 5 hours of that night. I experienced change On a 200mcg 1p LSD trip. I smoked like 3 bowls super fast and put on some psytrance on my headphones and meditated over an hour. I visualized my issues as a wall or something and passed through them it was unreal I heard a slight laugh as I passed through the walls. When I came back to reality I could see my energy flowing off me and I had stronger visuals than after I came back from my blackout on 1000mcg trip. After that trip i gained my emotions back that I dulled through drug use it gave me a great out look. So don't think dose is that big of a deal when it comes to change. If you can let go, you can get in touch with your self.

 

[Wu-tang killa beez]

the phrase "blasted open a door" is troubling me.

I don't think people make psychological progress by blasting anything.

That's fair i had trouble putting that in there myself but i was having trouble explaining that somehow the lsd had changed my outlook in a short amount of time for lack of better description once again.

And I suppose i was just hoping it would have more to offer me and maybe i could speed up that process by upping the dosage which so far isnt the case. But I'll continue working my way up there because i still feel theres more to discover weather it helps me or not.

 

[pupnik]

if people can get others to do what they have done, it kind of proves that what they have done was smart.

e.g join hare krishna, transcendental meditation, shamballa, shoot speed, smoke crack, drink a dozen beers, jump off a hill...

I think that many High Dose Afficianado's are actually uncertain about whether what they have done is good or not, but if you add your story to theirs, basically joining their club, then they gain the honor of having added a convert - Influenced someone to follow their footsteps.

This is the same for cults and for politics in general.
Uncertainty until more people are converted, i.e. if you can convert them then you are right.

I hope you are not caught up in the fallout of this sort of thing.

You do not sound certain about high dosing, and I guarantee that, after a reasonable dose you will introduce blackouts, and there will be more blackouts as the dose gets higher, which leaves less total time for you to be consciously aware and able to enjoy or make use of the enhanced state obtained by psychedelics.

Find your own level. your own path.

 

[Wu-tang killa beez]

I don't really feel any of that is relevant to me, I'm not trying to follow in others footsteps.
I've found lsd to have positive effects and I'm looking to expand that
I simply wanted to know if anyone else has similar story's were lsd has had positive effects on there mental state and well being and what they thought it was that helped them during the process.
I think finding my own path is exactly what this is and I don't see any problems with asking questions about it in the meantime

 

[Wu-tang killa beez]

After that trip i gained my emotions back that I dulled through drug use it gave me a great out look. So don't think dose is that big of a deal when it comes to change. If you can let go, you can get in touch with your self.

Thanks for the input i suppose it would be hard to focus on anything at a extremely high dose like that rendering it somewhat pointless for this purpose.

 

[psy997]

Yea high doses usually are less useful for self work. I personally wouldn't go higher than 300 for it, if that.

The intentions and focus on self healing is the biggest factor in achieving growth, not dose.

 

[PassthatT]

Yea I blacked out for 4-5 hours and was doing like 4 different things the whole time. 'My girl friend was there and was sober and she couldn't get me to stop doing what I was doing. You get stuck in some intense loops. I was on auto pilot. So make sure if you do decide to do a high dose have a trip sitter with you that is responsible!! I hope you find what you're looking for and learn from it! Good luck!

 

[morphine-dreams]

Don't jump straight to 500ug, try 400 or even less. I normally do 220ug when I want to trip decently but not super hard, but 330ug was already a blast-off dose for me. Crazy awesome trip, but no real introspection like at lower doses, you're just in another world. It becomes a completely different drug. 300-400ug is also already in the "zero control" zone, as in, you just sit/lay back and trip hard, blacking out is already possible, I haven't had a full black-out but I was up there, gone to the world. A trip sitter is definitely necessary imo and I'm very experienced with LSD. Would I try 500ug? Maybe. But I wouldn't if I didn't have experiences between the 330-400ug range already.

 

[opiatekrzy]

I don't think it is a placebo. I first tried acid last week, where I took 1 hit of blotter, clean lsd I will add. Just the other day I jumped to 2 hits. I must say HOLY FUCK, that was a whole other ballfield, it was very scary, certain thoughts physically hurt me if I thought about it, like I truely felt the pain! Now this I just my theory : I feel the lsd decreased my emotional sensitivity in general (a good thing! I always am an emotional wreck, an overthinker, etc, worry wart.) Anyway, i feel the LSD allowed me to feel that "physical pain"(felt shocked, electrical) I felt when I had thought that bad thought, i know this doesn't make any sense to anyone reading this, but I feel like, now when I overthink, or worry, or think about bad shit, my mind doesn't let me WORRY like I used to worry, i feel like, ever since when I tripped, and felt that electrical shock for thinking a bad thought, -i just feel like I'm more immune to letting bad thoughts bother me...if this.makes sense lol.
Anyway the LSD was a truely beautiful experience, the COME UP however was very uncomfortable and I didnt like it, i literally felt like I injected injected massive amount of cocaine, and ended up puking my dinner up, after that faded, the trip was a ride! Music and colors were so bright and Crystal clear! Iy reminds me of MDMA

 

[mr peabody]

Quote: "It seems to me that the LSD has blasted open a door that should of been opened a long time ago or maybe its just placebo I'm not sure."

Try and see the higher purpose in all that you've been through. Tim Scully once said to me "you've already been to the mountain top", meaning I should be satisfied with ever having been there at all. And he was right.

Be gentle with yourself. That's what we're here for, what we're here to learn.

Seen this? : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTehpkc1PNY