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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Cheshire_Kat

LSD (4 hits) -- Experienced -- Tension

Kanaba

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 12, 2002
Messages
395
Location
US
LSD-experienced-4 hits- Tension

I took this trip over 4 weeks ago. It's taken me a while to assimilate and integrate this experience, but I feel I've gained a pretty good grasp on it as of now...

It was Friday, and on the drive home from school all I could think about was re-entering psychedelia, and eating the last 4 hits of acid that I had. These 4 came out of a batch of 20 that I got for free at a show on new year's eve, so this made all the acid trips i had off this batch particularly magical... I mean, free acid! There's nothing better. Anyways, I got home, grabbed all my shit, my weed, bowl, and cut out my 4 blotter hits. I then drove to my friend J's house, unsure at that moment as to where I'd be tripping, and who with. I'm sort of a free-wheeler when it comes to psychedelics, which I know isn't a good thing at all, but drug use tends to get rather impulsive if you abstain from it every weekday. The weekends tend to get a bit crazy, and I never have a plan going into them, I just 'go with the flow', so to speak.

After chilling with J for a couple hours and getting high, he informs me that there's going to be a party tonight at P's place, and he'd be going up there later and getting fucked up with our group of friends. I consider my options... I definitely HAD to eat this acid. However, I could face the uncertainty of not having a definite place to crash while tripping, or I could drive up to the city and trip at this party. I'm a bit skeptical of doing psychedelics at parties of 8+ people, as I'm a bit prone to gettting sensory overload. However, I made the decision that the party would be my safest, and therefore my best bet.

At about 9:30, we leave to go to P's apartment in the city. I dose my 4 hits right before getting into my car, reasoning that I'd be peaking soon after I got myself situated at the party. The drive up to the city is uneventful, I smoke a little weed on my way up there (maybe a bowl or so), listen to some String Cheese, and rub that acid on the roof of my mouth. I get to the apartment only to find my other friends havn't arrived yet- no problem though, as I know P personally, and gotten hooked up from him before. I call him, tell him I'm at the door of his apartment building, and he lets me in.

T + 1 hour:
I chill with P and a friend of his in his apartment. We smoked some weed, and I realize that I must get my CDs, because I have some damn good music in there. I'm feeling the acid at this point, getting those electrical jitters, and walking down the 3 flights of stairs to the ground floor feels quite interesting. I feel like a little kid running around after a ball in gym, or something. No pressure in my knees, I feel like I'm half walking, half floating. When I open the door and walk out to my car, I notice two cars pull up. This sort of creeps me out for a second, until I see J hop out with some other of my buddies. Everyone greets eachother, and we all have smiles on our faces. When I try to get into my car, for some reason the damn emergency blinkers start to go off, and I have to sit there and fiddle with the controls until it stops. At first, I thought I was hallucinating the entire light-blinking episode, but when I heard that metallic clicking sound I realized it was all too real, and that my car would probably be towed if someone noticed the blinkers on. Or, my battery would run out. Whatever, I fiddled with controls until they turn off, and I return to the apartment. There's about 6 people in there at this point, and we're all getting blazed, ALL of us waiting for various psychedelics to come on.

T+ 1.5 Hours
Conversation is pretty smoothe to this point, we're all having fun and getting stoned, and I'm beggining to notice quicksand-looking rivulets creep their way across the wall. P owns a pretty cool red light that casts this psychedelic-looking red-line pattern on the walls, and I'm starting to see these red lines form into muscle tissue, and take on some human charecteristics. Other people are mentioning their visuals at this point, but I'm too interested in the begginings of my own experience to listen. I feel my mind starting to slip into that eternal-contemplation of Acid, and I'm very much at ease. Everything's going perfectly... I look back on the day, and I'm really happy at the way it turned out. And this was the best way to end it.

T+ 2.5 Hours
Enter MDMA. Some guy and some girl enter the party, and the girl is carrying rolls out the yin-yang. I'm already starting to trip REALLY hard at this point, and I don't feel motivated to buy one of these pills, because I think they add a level of superficiality to the acid experience. They produce a good feeling, but its a fake feeling, and on acid, everything's gotta be real. Everyone else at the party buys them though, and eats them up happily, giving me looks like "what the hell's wrong with you?!" I'm seeing fractal vortexes on the wall in front of me at this point. Brightly colored streamers are shooting in front of my eyes pretty frequently, and in my peripheral vision. I look at that revolving red light thing on the floor, and it turns into a human brain. I see myself in this massive hallucination of (me) looking down into a patient's open skull cavity, as if I were a neurosurgeon. The girl that came in to the apartment is the only girl at the party... you can see the awkwardness of this type of situation sober, now imagine me while tripping 4 hits of acid.

T + 3.5 Hours
Everyone at the party is rolling pretty hard but me, and I struggle to keep this fact in mind. Conversation is getting a bit sloppy for me now, and whenever I try and formulate a sentence in my mind I over-analyze it, and try and edit it before I say it, and I end up saying nothing. I do have several okay conversations tho, mainly pertaining to "are you feeling it yet man? what are you seeing?i feel great!" These talks are brief, and are only a thin layer of sanity over my completely twisted mind. I feel obligated to talk with the others, because I felt that if I didn't, I'd be rejected by the group and left to fend for myself. The party room is pretty much one long, rectangular room that's divided in the middle by a partition (not a wall or a door). In one half is sitting the girl, and all the dudes sitting around her who're trying to hit on her. In the other half, on the bed, is sitting my friends J and A. They're my usual tripping buddies, and I walk over to the bed to get in on their conversation. They're talking about Final Fantasy 11 non-stop. They've been on this subject for quite some time, and my memory is by no means perfect, but I'd say they'd been going on about it for at least an hour. I didn't find this chat to be stimulating, so I walked to the other half of the room, to chill with all the others guys and this girl. I did feel pretty horny at the time, but it was the wrong time to feel this way. There are like 5 other dudes sitting around her, rolling their asses off, kind of hitting on her (which was pointless, because the guy she walked in with was her boyfriend, but he didnt mind too much). I remember at one point I actually got to have a one-on-one conversation with her, sort of... I told her I needed someone to get high with, I didn't want to pass my bowl around like 8 other people, and we'd get higher if it was just us. So we walk over to somewhere in the room and sit (I think it was the bed, and J and A had vacated it, and were continuing their final fantasy conversation elsewhere). Talk got off to a pretty normal start, i asked her how she was feeling, if she was having fun, etc, etc... and we started smoking my weed. Eventually, she mentioned to me "You know what's fucked up? I'm only 19 years old, and I have 2 kids!" This totally bummed me out, deflated my balloon, and gave me that "oh....." feeling. Our little chat ended after the bowl, which took a while to smoke, and she walked off to hang in the other half of the room. I go back as well, and J and A resume their talk on the bed, I believe. (Sequencing of events is a bit difficult for me now, that was 4 hits of acid, and my sense of time was sort of skewed). I look at the borders around the ceiling, and I see intricate Aztec designs and carvings in the wood, and some sort of stange heiroglyphs/runes etched into all the wood visible. In the other half of the room, someone mentioned J and A, and how it was sort of weird that they'd been talking about the same thing all night, and how it was also weird that they were making absolutely no attempt to hit on this girl. It was like the room was divided between the "gay" people and the "straight" people. I had a more realistic view of this girl after our conversation, and I had dropped any thoughts I had of her at that point... but I felt obligated to sit in the half where I was, because I'm not gay, and for some reason it helped me to confirm this belief by staying right where I was. But the conversations that were going on were completely uninteresting to me, and I felt like I was beggining to be sucked into my own little world. I didn't care about the stupid things these people were talking about... I needed to find a real head to talk to, and delve into my soul. I walk over to J and A, only to find them still talking about Final Fantasy 11. I said "Hey, have you guys considered the possibility that you're on a thought loop? You've been talking about this for a long time, and it's pretty boring, and I want to talk about other things..." They instantly gave me this weird look, like the look someone gives to an intruder who's crossed without permission into their realm. They began to justify themselves, discounting the possibility that they're on a loop, and basically telling me that I'm full of shit politely.

T+ 4-4.5 Hours
At this point, I feel completely disconnected from everyone I went to the party with. I felt distanced from these "friends", and I felt that going to this party was the wrong choice, like I would have had more fun if I would just have stayed home. I could find no common ground here... it was between the final-fantasy people and the people that look at you funny when you mention some "weird shit", and dont want to talk about it. (not to mention, the weird rolling chick with kids that was my anti-boner, at that point). I didn't like all the sexual tension going on in the room, and I also didn't care much for my friends' intellectual 'superiority'. Basically, I felt unappreciated and isolated, which is not a cool way to feel when you're on a high dose of LSD. Then, I had a cosmic revelation: I'm my best company! I wanted to get away from everyone else, and I told P that "i want to crash" (not very believable, only 4 or so hours into a massive acid trip). He told me where another room was where I could chill, and I leave society to be with myself. The room I enter is very strange indeed. Dirty clothes lay all over the damn place. The single mattress on the floor is covered by a mountain of dirty clothes. There's two windows, one of which is blocked off, but I can see the buildings of the city out the other window. I sit down on top of my mountain of linen, and begin to smoke more weed. I look to my right and left sides, and I see a palm tree on either side of me. They wave around as if in a gentle breeze, and I can even hear their leaves sort of brush against eachother. I look straight ahead, at where the wall once was, and I see a watering-hole. Around this watering hole are standing a group of 4 camels, each of which have a saddle decorated with different flowing patterns. The camels aren't really moving, they're just standing there, but the patterns on their saddles are flowing and changing, and it engrosses me. I see muslim designs whirl their way across blue, yellow, and green bands on the saddles. I look at the carpet, and it looks exactly like desert sand. Again, I see little rivulets flowing through the sand, making their way towards the oasis. On the walls on either side of me, behind the palm trees, I see more hieroglyphics and middle-eastern patterns. Sometimes, if I look at the hieroglyhs for long enough, I can understand them... I had egyptian myths and folklore flowing through my mind. I think this hallucination was influenced by the greatful dead shirt i was wearing at the time, which depicts skeletal camels and a guy on a flying carpet calling a cobra from a basket. This was my outstanding visual of the night... after it faded, the acid started to wear down into patterns such as tesselated rainbow-seashells on the wall, and more flowing in the carpet. Eventually, the trip tapered off into energy, and I was able to sleep by around six o'clock.

This trip allowed me to truly 'know myself' in a different way. I found that after I left all the people, I felt very much at ease. I realized that I'm not the type that needs to be connected to a group to feel happy, and I'm just as comfortable by myself. I bet a lot of the people that are reading this would have done the same thing if they were in my shoes; go off alone for a while, ride it out. But it feels great to be able to dissent from the crowd and 'be yourself', even at a party where there's lots of pressure to be 'plugged in' and involved with everything that's going on. I re-affirmed my faith in myself that I'm an individual, and not a pack animal. It also made me realize that I'm totally comfortable with my straight sexuality, and that I don't need to hit on some girl just because everyone else is, merely to feel "straight." I know it, and that's good enough. This trip was basically me telling everyone else "Fuck off, I don't care for your norms." I saw everyone in that room as a microcosm of society, and my acid trip helped me to analyze this microcosm and discover what it is about society that I really don't care for.

A few days afterward, i discussed this trip with J. I pretty much recounted it the same way I recounted it to you all. He told me "man, shut up, you just had a weird head trip, you wigged out, couldn't chill anymore, and you went to be alone in your own headspace"... If I had truly 'wigged out', I would defintely tell the truth about it; its something to be proud of! I told him this, and he still disagreed, and told me "no, you just wigged out, couldn't handle your shit." I mentioned his 3 or 4 hour long conversation about Final Fantasy, and that "maybe this was a thought loop", and he shrugged this off. He tried to justify himself in everything he said and did, tried to rationalize it so that he appears 'saner' or 'more together' than I was that night, which I found to be really lame, and not very friendly. I didn't get much compassion for this trip, and even when I tried to explain myself to my friends, they didn't really listen. I mentioned to J that the girl told me she had 2 kids and all... but he said "Man, I know that girl, she's 19... theres no way she has 2 kids man, and I don't think she'd lie about that... you must've hallucinated that entire conversation." This just blew my mind, I hadn't considered this possibility before, and it made me realize just how spun I was that night.So the trip was great, very profound, but I just didn't get ANY closure whatsoever, my friends would NEVER admit to wigging out or going on a thought loop (because they're oh-so-experienced psychonauts and it dosnt happen to them anymore). That's why this experience took so long for me to integrate... because I wasn't able to discuss it in a rational, reasonable manner with my tripping buddies. I think discussion and compassion for other peoples' psychedelic experiences is key in understanding these drugs, and the diverse ways they affect the human mind.
 
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Awesome report.

When you are on lsd you almost immediately disasociate yourself with anyone that is not on lsd. Your mind starts to work differently and has trouble interacting with peoples minds who are sober, drunk or pilling. That's not to say your mind isn't working. I would argue strongly that while on lsd your mind is more active and aware than in any other state.

You say your freinds are experienced psychonauts? I find that hard to beleive with all that thay said and did to you. An experienced tripper will understand that sometimes you just need to go and do your own things.... and especially in a circumstance where noone else is tripping with you. The way your freinds play rediculous ego games with you is insulting to those who do call themselves psychonauts.

Being a psychonaut is all about exploring your mind in order to better understand the universe (at least thats what it is to me) and it seems that is exactly what you were doing that night...

Peace...
 
* im pretty sure almost everyone there was tripping acid, except for the pill girl and her BF.
 
sorry kanaba ... i'm a newbie !!

;) what can i say ????
 
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Great report... I'm glad you finally figured out whose company you needed to be in =)

I guess maybe in the future you'll be more selective in terms of what groups of people you take LSD around?

I don't understand why everyone thought you were strange for not taking MDMA with your acid. I agree with you--- LSD is a pure experience. Mixing it with other drugs, besides cannabis (a food group of course), isn't really nescessary.

Anyway I've enjoyed your reports lately, keep 'em coming :)
 
mr P, cool experience man... you ought to start your own thread. It's all good man, just remember to next time... hijacking threads isnt cool.

-this happened the last time i posted an experience report as well. what is it with my reports and people wanting to steal me glory??

arrrrrghhhh
 
great report kanaba (told you i'd give it a read) ;)

i could never handle being around people who are rolling when i was tripping hard, it would always bug me out and i would feel that i had to get away. At least you figured out what you needed and went to chill out by yourself. I don't touch acid anymore these days because of some traumatic introspection, but it seems like it all worked out well for you. And if you really imagined that girl saying she had two kids, that's just FUNNY!
 
Kanaba said:
listen to some String Cheese


Great to see another Cheese kid on the board!!! They are my fav.


Anyways cool report, I would be a bit wierded out by what the E girl said as well about he kids. But for some reason whenever I trip on no matter what I would start asking her questions as to understand "why" she had those kids.
 
Awesome read. :)

Yeah, a high dose of acid at a party can be pretty spun :) I like tripping with one other person.. 3 is good, but a whole group of people on acid that you don't know too well can be pretty weird.

Does anyone find low doses of acid to be a good social lubricant?
 
^^ perhaps if you want to give total strangers the notion that you're so random you are psycho :p

But when you're not dealing with total randoms, LSD can often break conversational barriers, much like MDxA substances do with the whole familiarity between people of being under the same influence.
 
very nice trip report. I would have also not bought MDMA because rolling would distract me from the lsd trip. very nice visuals you got there, do shrooms produce those too
 
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