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Bluelighter
People love me or people hate me, it’s that line from Slim Shady that sums me up since I was a baby.
I’m problematic, but not evil or twisted; I did what I did in order to get shit.
Hit a lick, didn’t give a fuck who I hurt, pinching dads wallet, or swiping mom’s purse, sticking up a d-boy, busting through the door, putting the whole family on the floor.
4 am, overlooking children crying, while daddy’s got a .45 jammed in his eye lid. Give me what I came for it’ll be alright; make one wrong move and kiss your existence goodnight.
The whole time my heart knows that it’s wrong, but a stronger force inside me makes me still carry on, it overpowers rational thought, judgment and discretion. I’m on a one track mission. Fueled by adrenaline, addiction, and aggression.
The funny thing is 99.9% of the time; I’m compassionate and happy. I visit my grandma and do chores for my grand daddy. I go out of my way to make life more enjoyable for others, but on the same time I’ll strike a pregnant mother.
Maybe I’m just a bad seed. The one the world needs, to remind them, not to think like me. Maybe an example, put here by a greater power, but for what purpose; to hurt, help, be a coward? Maybe I have some great lesson to teach, like how to love unconditionally and always be at peace.
Till then I’ll sit...wonder....and try to tame the beast.
I’m problematic, but not evil or twisted; I did what I did in order to get shit.
Hit a lick, didn’t give a fuck who I hurt, pinching dads wallet, or swiping mom’s purse, sticking up a d-boy, busting through the door, putting the whole family on the floor.
4 am, overlooking children crying, while daddy’s got a .45 jammed in his eye lid. Give me what I came for it’ll be alright; make one wrong move and kiss your existence goodnight.
The whole time my heart knows that it’s wrong, but a stronger force inside me makes me still carry on, it overpowers rational thought, judgment and discretion. I’m on a one track mission. Fueled by adrenaline, addiction, and aggression.
The funny thing is 99.9% of the time; I’m compassionate and happy. I visit my grandma and do chores for my grand daddy. I go out of my way to make life more enjoyable for others, but on the same time I’ll strike a pregnant mother.
Maybe I’m just a bad seed. The one the world needs, to remind them, not to think like me. Maybe an example, put here by a greater power, but for what purpose; to hurt, help, be a coward? Maybe I have some great lesson to teach, like how to love unconditionally and always be at peace.
Till then I’ll sit...wonder....and try to tame the beast.
