DoctorShop
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I didn't mean to bang her head against the wooden floor, but it happened and theres not alot I can do about it now. Eve convulses in my arms, head bag bang BANGING on the wooden floor. White thick spit/spew drools out of her mouth. Her eyes show such clarity and awareness, as if she's making this all happen, when really she is convulsing from a shot.
I thought it was heroin and as far as I know people don't convulse like that. I'm never been very smart though so maybe this is serious.
I hold her in my arms and stroke her hair away from her face. She feels so cold and her lips are losing colour. My tears drop on her face and mingle with the vomit on the hard wooden floor.
Baby please I beg her. Baby it was never supposed to be like this. I just wanted us to be free.
Eve looks at me and its haunting. Dark eyes with such intelligence and deep beauty that comes from somewhere I cant explain. She's not banging heard head on the floor anymore but she is shaking and so so cold. Gasping for air, gasping for life.
Danny she says. Danny do you remember in school holidays? After we left St Peters forever?
I did. I remember the day we ran up a hill with the pine tree at the top. I remember knowing I'd never be so free again. The kind of freedom a child has before he knows the world. I remember meeting Eve at the top and following her gaze. Blue eyes to blue ocean. What was the most dangerous of the two? I'd could have lost myself in either at that moment. The decision was made for me when she pulled me close. So clean and warm, the smell...
do you remember how we used to meet at the pine tree and share our love?
I smiled and shook her head. Even in the beginning we always had a third wheel. Eve, myself and euphoria. So honest with its price. What was our price to eachother? Was it love or just commitment to pleasing a mutual friend? Neither jealous or hurt. Indifferent like a cat. It was beautiful/toxic/unyielding.
And afterwards we would lay under the pine tree...
And say that everything would always....
No matter what...
End this beautiful world we had. I sobbed as I finished the last sentence. Eve smiled. I wiped the spit and vomit from her lips/teeth/face. I dont want you to go away.
I want to go (coughing fit)... I want to go knowing that I've felt and and loved... (coughing, coughing, spew - I wipe it away) more then I ever could again. Danny... this is all I knew it could ever be. Happiness never lasts forever. It turns into contentedness... mediocrity... routine... until all you know is melancholy and that feeling of absolute apathy. It will grow until...
It's cheating. I spit it out like venom.
I never said I wasn't selfish Eve replies.
I hold her against the hard unpolished wooden floor.
I never could believe that my love for her would ever diminish. Eve told me once, twice... I dont really know how often. She told me I would look at her and she would see smugness, like I was taking her for granted. You think I'll always be yours she'd say.
I'd be almost asleep. We'd be in the hills overlooking the city in my car. Smoking, trying not to burn our pants with out cigarettes. Eve would be looking at me with what looked like venom in her eyes and still her arm would be drooping towards her jeans. I'd be trying not to laugh thinking: How can she look so alert and serious, but be nodding like crazy.
I'd just shake my head and smile. Eve I've never, ever been yours. Threes a crowd they always say... and the she'd be on my lap holding me so tightly. No kissing or touching. Just holding on to eachother like the world was ending.
And thats how Eve and I left the world together on that hard unpolished dirty wooden floor. With a little help from a third party. Always willing to help the romantics and desperate. Peace and sickness - Apathy and disease. Taking a shortcut to Nirvana has never been so desperate.
But Eve told me it would never be forever.
I thought it was heroin and as far as I know people don't convulse like that. I'm never been very smart though so maybe this is serious.
I hold her in my arms and stroke her hair away from her face. She feels so cold and her lips are losing colour. My tears drop on her face and mingle with the vomit on the hard wooden floor.
Baby please I beg her. Baby it was never supposed to be like this. I just wanted us to be free.
Eve looks at me and its haunting. Dark eyes with such intelligence and deep beauty that comes from somewhere I cant explain. She's not banging heard head on the floor anymore but she is shaking and so so cold. Gasping for air, gasping for life.
Danny she says. Danny do you remember in school holidays? After we left St Peters forever?
I did. I remember the day we ran up a hill with the pine tree at the top. I remember knowing I'd never be so free again. The kind of freedom a child has before he knows the world. I remember meeting Eve at the top and following her gaze. Blue eyes to blue ocean. What was the most dangerous of the two? I'd could have lost myself in either at that moment. The decision was made for me when she pulled me close. So clean and warm, the smell...
do you remember how we used to meet at the pine tree and share our love?
I smiled and shook her head. Even in the beginning we always had a third wheel. Eve, myself and euphoria. So honest with its price. What was our price to eachother? Was it love or just commitment to pleasing a mutual friend? Neither jealous or hurt. Indifferent like a cat. It was beautiful/toxic/unyielding.
And afterwards we would lay under the pine tree...
And say that everything would always....
No matter what...
End this beautiful world we had. I sobbed as I finished the last sentence. Eve smiled. I wiped the spit and vomit from her lips/teeth/face. I dont want you to go away.
I want to go (coughing fit)... I want to go knowing that I've felt and and loved... (coughing, coughing, spew - I wipe it away) more then I ever could again. Danny... this is all I knew it could ever be. Happiness never lasts forever. It turns into contentedness... mediocrity... routine... until all you know is melancholy and that feeling of absolute apathy. It will grow until...
It's cheating. I spit it out like venom.
I never said I wasn't selfish Eve replies.
I hold her against the hard unpolished wooden floor.
I never could believe that my love for her would ever diminish. Eve told me once, twice... I dont really know how often. She told me I would look at her and she would see smugness, like I was taking her for granted. You think I'll always be yours she'd say.
I'd be almost asleep. We'd be in the hills overlooking the city in my car. Smoking, trying not to burn our pants with out cigarettes. Eve would be looking at me with what looked like venom in her eyes and still her arm would be drooping towards her jeans. I'd be trying not to laugh thinking: How can she look so alert and serious, but be nodding like crazy.
I'd just shake my head and smile. Eve I've never, ever been yours. Threes a crowd they always say... and the she'd be on my lap holding me so tightly. No kissing or touching. Just holding on to eachother like the world was ending.
And thats how Eve and I left the world together on that hard unpolished dirty wooden floor. With a little help from a third party. Always willing to help the romantics and desperate. Peace and sickness - Apathy and disease. Taking a shortcut to Nirvana has never been so desperate.
But Eve told me it would never be forever.
