• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Lost moral Compass

T

TouchN' Stuff Blvd

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 29, 2009
Messages
434
What is right and wrong is an endlessly debatable, silly subject. Yet my lack of any real morals causes my depression. I catch myself carelessly lying or abandoning others in casual situations, because I suppose I just don’t really care. I feel like something in me has dimmed, and I do not know of all my questioning of morality has helped, nor have moments spent in pure euphoria, not giving a fuck. Morality really does not compare to pleasure. I do the right thing so long as it causes more pleasure than doing something I know I feel is wrong, like cheating someone I care about. I feel like my moral compass is lost, and I would like some advice.
 
This seems almost philosophical. Are you prone to doing things that are wrong or harmful to others without regret or fear of consequence?
 
No, I carefully weigh the possible outcomes, like how much I will worry about committing certain action, and how that will affect the amount of pleasure I can obtain from it. Its too machine like though, and this bothers me.
 
you are just another conniving, manipulating drug addict who would sell his grandma for a fix[in the right situation]....no biggie....
 
I'm not sure what kind of replies you are looking for because you didn't ask any questions or suggest any kind of particular discussion but here goes:

The fact that this seems like a recent thing (the questioning whether or not you could possibly possess what society considers "good morals") makes me assume that something in you has changed, especially when you say you "feel like something in me has dimmed." This implies that things weren't always this way. I am more than willing to bet that these feelings go hand in hand with drug use. Even when people eventually sober up they often continue feeling depressed because chemicals have possibly altered their brain chemistry [among *many* other reasons]. A lot of people say that they felt as if they lacked morals and/or were depressed before they began using drugs and this is often true. Unfortunately for these kinds of people drugs tend to magnify emotions--especially negative feelings--and if you find yourself questioning the way you feel all of a sudden then chances are that drugs have at least some part in the way you are feeling.

If you've felt this way for many years or even your whole life and are not content then perhaps you have some kind of mental health issue. It can never hurt to see a doctor about this. Hell, maybe you're even a sociopath (although *true* sociopaths are few and far between). But like I said before, this probably has a lot to do with drug use...
 
The fact that you are worried about your own lack of morals clearly shows that you do have them. What seems to be troubling you is that you have done things that you perceive to be wrong, like leaving friends. But you can fix this. If you have abandoned a friend, why not phone them and say sorry?

It's often difficult to do the right thing, partly because it's difficult to know what the right thing might be and also because it takes guts to go through with it when you do. But your feelings over the things you've done show that you do know what is right, so that's half the battle. Now you just need to do the right thing.

So, in all seriousness, why not think of a person you've mistreated and phone them up right now? Reading advice from strangers on the internet might make you feel a little better, but if you really want to solve your problems you'll have to do it yourself... So get going!
 
I notice these traits in my junkie friends who've gone a little over the top.

They're moral compasses are way off and they'll look the other way if there is more to gain by doing the wrong thing.

I feel like its something one could grow out of though, thats all I got 'cause I'm not a psych.
 
but philosophically what are morals anyway? i dare you to try and outline some manner of actual truth behind morals. I believe they don't exist it is merely a matter of intelligence, but where the author of this thread and I split is that decisions should be made in a way to promote happiness(assuming that ones goal is happiness of course.) This is to say that when i make a decision it is not because i believe it to be right or wrong but because the consequences of the decision i make will benefit me. Thus decision making/morals are actually a matter of perception/intelligence. Touch N' stuff's problem is he is not thinking the consequences of his actions out far enough and in fact making decision that will harm him latter on. So morals do not actually exist. We as humans are all self interested, but it happens to have turned out that decisions you label as Good/Right are more intelligent to make than the ones we label as Bad/wrong.
Kinda makes you wonder about how intelligence/perception could be the reason we have words like right and wrong, but in our culture we have some how disassociated morals from intelligence (i blame Christianity)
 
shit i just realized i answered my own question " i dare you to try and outline some manner of actual truth behind morals?"
but either way what i am saying is forget about morals, they have become too disconnected in our culture. When you make decisions they should always be made to benefit you, and what you will find out is that the decisions commonly associated with right/good in fact benefit(give more pleasure) you in the long run. This becomes painfully obvious to anyone who is or has been addicted to drugs.
 
Everyone wants pleasure and doesnt want pain. Maybe for some pain is pleasurable, but nonetheless it guides our actions. People get obsessed with pleasure and start abandoning things in the pursuit of it. We may abandon our family friends/ wealth / school w.e..

Peoples minds are in the wrong place imo though because they are looking to the short term. The true pleasure comes from knowing that you did the beautiful thing. If pleasure requires that you must commit an atrocity against nature, how the fuk u going to enjoy that pleasure?
 
I feel like my moral compass is lost, and I would like some advice.
Click to expand...

My advice would be to find your compass again. Try spending a lot of your time with some real crooked and creepy people and see how lonely and pathetic they are and then spend some time with some honest salt-of-the-earth types and see how they get along.

life's experiences and adventures are the only cure for the person in your situation, IMO
 
At least this thread, even if it seems minor, is an indication that you have a problem with your behavior. If you're reflecting like this that means something. It can be hard, but think of yourself abstractly, you're a person... you can take control of yourself instead of floating in and out of days and do what you feel is the right thing. Even if you're inconvenienced momentarily, the knowledge that you are honorable in your actions can be very meaningful. Forget about what you've done before, you can't change anything now but you can break the cycle.
 
I can think of ten commandments that might help you recalibrate your moral compass. They are clear enough to follow without any ambiguity. They make it easy to live without having to worry so much about making a "wrong choice".
 
Thanks for these replies, some good food for thought. I've waited a long time to reply because I have difficulty putting my thoughts together on this subject.

I use the word "morals" even though I feel morals don't really exist. Yet I sometimes get an undeniable feeling of guilt for my actions, although intellectually I feel it doesnt matter - presocietal humans probably raped, murdered, all that good stuff. Can anyone recommend any reading to help me deconstruct my learned feelings about morality?

Recently I have been working with a religious nut who is constantly telling me I am going to the "lake of fire." This is a man the world would clearly be better without. He only makes me more certain its better to question morality, to use your brain in the matter, than to accept a moral code without understanding it.

In the middle of explaining why he was going to heaven and I am not, he totally fiendishly asked me "hey have you got any coke? I haven't tried any in at least a year I am dying for a taste" :)
 
Well, I mean I feel I should be doing something moral than calculating what will make me feel better. I feel / felt like a pleasure machine that nearly assigns a number value to guilt / gain of possible actions. I used to believe I had a dharma to follow when I was more into hinduism, but I have come to see that belief as nearly as thoughtless as obeying the commandments in order to get into heaven, or some such thing.

At the same time, I have pretty much stopped using opiates because I can no longer enjoy them because they make me remember stupid, conniving things I have done in order to get high. But this is not really a moral decision.
 
My boyfriend makes fun of me for even thinking about morality so much. He equates good with selflessness / godliness, and bad with selfishness / human / animal behavior. I find this a bit arbitrary, but I wonder how he seems so sure.

What I am really looking for is more food for thought. I have read Thus Spoke Zarathustra, and had good fun with it, but I am looking for more writing that addresses the question. Any suggestions, Nietzsche or otherwise?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top