To begin I'd like to formally introduce myself and say hi to the forum. I've been an avid viewer of bluelight and user posts on it for several years now. I'm actually sure a couple times some useful posts or info may have even saved my life. I've been an opiate addict for over 11 years.
Like many others it all started with a few vicodin in my early teens and it only spiraled from there. Flash forward to 2014. Even back then the use of loperamide in large doses was controversial and many still widely believed that it could not cross the blood brain barrier, ever. That being said as far back as 2010 I concocted theories and read other reports that by using cimetidine or quinine and very large doses it did indeed cross the bbb.
The first time I tried taking more than a normal dose of the stuff was 5 years ago while going through fentanyl withdrawal, desperate for any form of relief by any means necessary. I remember having to work that morning and dreading it. That was the first time I took 20 pills. I was skeptical and expected no relief.
Than a couple hours into my shift something happened. I started feeling almost normal. I wasn't completely well but about 80 percent. Over the next 4 years I would commonly take around 20 pills to get through withdrawals when times were dry.
Then 2014 came and I had a discussion with a friend of mine who knew none of this about loperamide. Him being much more naive and ambitious than I was immediately offered to take 100 pills of loperamide to see if he could achieve a high. To his and my surprise he was actually nodding off, scratching, and acting like he was completely loaded. The next several months my friend continued to mega dose loperamide more and more often. I refrained and remember stating several times that "it can not be good for you and that there had to be a catch".
This was until one morning I was withdrawing from xanax for the first, only, and last time I ever will in my life. That was a whole new level of pain and terror I wasn't used to. In the complete mess I was in my friend came by, set 50 loperamide on the desk with some water, and told me to at least try it and that it would probably take the edge off. I pondered on it, took it, and it did help.
I continued taking it the next 2 weeks and once my xanax withdrawals were gone I continued to grow a liking to my daily doses of loperamide. Things only got worse from then on until I was taking up to 100 pills of day. By then myself and my friend included had tried to stop taking the stuff. My friend made it 10 days with no relief in sight before giving up.
It was at this point I started having bad side effects. My vision would get blurred, I was fatigued all the time, and I just didn't feel right. I got online and searched for hours on any info I could find on the long term effects of loperamide abuse. I found 1 article posted by a lady that told a similar tale of her endeavor ending with her in the ER with tachycardia arrhythmia and having to had been defibrillated over 9 times.
She warned and pleaded with anyone else in her situation to get help by any means necessary. I took that post to heart and attempted to start tapering off. I had actually gotten down to 80 pills and was quite proud of it when my first arrhythmia happened. I remember laying in bed as my heart unexpectedly, for no reason started to speed up and beat incredibly fast.
I kept trying to convince myself at the time that I was just freaking out and that I was fine. It went on for 20 minutes before finally going back to normal. The next month or so only led to more of these and eventually along with the speeding up of the heart, palpitations started to happen. At the time I undoubtedly knew I needed help.
I was waiting for my medicaid to be approved because I did not want more financial ruin from medical bills. Finally it was approved and I had an appointment. I wasn't even sure of what they would do. If they would believe me?
Turn me away? Either way I had hoped for a prescription for suboxone because at the time my life literally depended on it. I took my last dose of loperamide on December 10th, 2014. On December 12, 2014 I walked into my appointment at 8 am sick from withdrawal hoping that I'd had already gotten half the induction process done and over with.
I met with the addiction specialist, told her my story, and watched her scribble down a prescription. I asked her what it was and she told me it was naloxone and that I didn't need suboxone. I plead with her telling her that would only certainly make me extremely ill at best while sitting in the waiting area. She then told me to at least hang around and wait for the doctor and that I would "at least get something".
I was extremely close to just leaving and heading to the nearest Walgreens for a bottle of lope. I know for sure that would have been death. Some strange inner voice told me to just wait it out for a few more minutes. I finally saw the doctor and this person literally saved my life.
I told her my situation and what they were trying to give me. She immediately got this look of surprise and alarm on her face and left the room. To my surprise she returned back with 4 other doctors and the same addiction specialist. She informed me that 4 other people in my city had already seen her for the same problem I was having.
She said 2 went to inpatient detox and 2 went on suboxone. I opted for suboxone and they issued an apology and handed my a prescription for suboxone while also asking me to stick around for tests. My liver was inflamed, they did blood work, and I went home to take my dose and waited to feel better. To my surprise, even though I'd already waited 50 hours, I only started feeling worse and then was thrown into precipitated withdrawal.
That was the worst 8 hours of withdrawal I've ever been through. I knew nothing would help but time so I kept slowly taking more sub knowing the only thing I could do is ride it out. That morning I was at least not writhing, rolling around, and literally screaming in pain anymore. 6 hours later I could get some soup down, take some hot showers.
By the next morning I finally felt well. The next 3 or 4 months my arrhythmia's still happened but lessened in frequency before eventually going away altogether. Thank you to those that have taken the time to read all of this and my story. Now to the present problems and my questions.
Until earlier this month I'd been fine and then suddenly for no reason the heart problems have started to come back. They have started to happen more frequently, almost daily and are getting worse and longer in intensity. Now anything that would normally speed up my heart triggers it. I was playing a pc game yesterday morning and just that alone caused it to happen.
This time though instead of my heart just speeding up and palpitating it immediately went from 100 beats per minute to almost stopping. I could feel it pound and almost throb or contract in my chest as if it was struggling to stay beating. Boom, almost 3 seconds would pass, boom, 3 seconds would pass.... I've done some research.
I was taking diphenhydramine and valerian root for sleep for the past 6 months along with drinking an energy drink every morning. I've since abruptly stopped all three things after reading they all can trigger arrhythmia. It's been 3 days and I still don't feel well. I know that the FDA has finally admitted that abusing loperamide can and does cause these heart complications.
What I need to know is if they are long term or permanent. I'm probably going to go in to the doctor today I feel that if I try to wait things out any longer I could die. The clinic that I went to for the suboxone never ran any tests on my heart. They did some overdue hep c and hiv tests which were luckily negative but since my heart issues went away for almost over a year I never hounded or asked them for them. Any information or knowledge from anyone unfortunate enough to be in a similar situation as mine would be appreciated. Do not take more than 15 or 20 of these at a time and even at that I'd advise against it. Your life isn't worth the adverse effects of large doses of this drug. Had I known the risks back then I'd of never done it. Take that from this if nothing else.
Like many others it all started with a few vicodin in my early teens and it only spiraled from there. Flash forward to 2014. Even back then the use of loperamide in large doses was controversial and many still widely believed that it could not cross the blood brain barrier, ever. That being said as far back as 2010 I concocted theories and read other reports that by using cimetidine or quinine and very large doses it did indeed cross the bbb.
The first time I tried taking more than a normal dose of the stuff was 5 years ago while going through fentanyl withdrawal, desperate for any form of relief by any means necessary. I remember having to work that morning and dreading it. That was the first time I took 20 pills. I was skeptical and expected no relief.
Than a couple hours into my shift something happened. I started feeling almost normal. I wasn't completely well but about 80 percent. Over the next 4 years I would commonly take around 20 pills to get through withdrawals when times were dry.
Then 2014 came and I had a discussion with a friend of mine who knew none of this about loperamide. Him being much more naive and ambitious than I was immediately offered to take 100 pills of loperamide to see if he could achieve a high. To his and my surprise he was actually nodding off, scratching, and acting like he was completely loaded. The next several months my friend continued to mega dose loperamide more and more often. I refrained and remember stating several times that "it can not be good for you and that there had to be a catch".
This was until one morning I was withdrawing from xanax for the first, only, and last time I ever will in my life. That was a whole new level of pain and terror I wasn't used to. In the complete mess I was in my friend came by, set 50 loperamide on the desk with some water, and told me to at least try it and that it would probably take the edge off. I pondered on it, took it, and it did help.
I continued taking it the next 2 weeks and once my xanax withdrawals were gone I continued to grow a liking to my daily doses of loperamide. Things only got worse from then on until I was taking up to 100 pills of day. By then myself and my friend included had tried to stop taking the stuff. My friend made it 10 days with no relief in sight before giving up.
It was at this point I started having bad side effects. My vision would get blurred, I was fatigued all the time, and I just didn't feel right. I got online and searched for hours on any info I could find on the long term effects of loperamide abuse. I found 1 article posted by a lady that told a similar tale of her endeavor ending with her in the ER with tachycardia arrhythmia and having to had been defibrillated over 9 times.
She warned and pleaded with anyone else in her situation to get help by any means necessary. I took that post to heart and attempted to start tapering off. I had actually gotten down to 80 pills and was quite proud of it when my first arrhythmia happened. I remember laying in bed as my heart unexpectedly, for no reason started to speed up and beat incredibly fast.
I kept trying to convince myself at the time that I was just freaking out and that I was fine. It went on for 20 minutes before finally going back to normal. The next month or so only led to more of these and eventually along with the speeding up of the heart, palpitations started to happen. At the time I undoubtedly knew I needed help.
I was waiting for my medicaid to be approved because I did not want more financial ruin from medical bills. Finally it was approved and I had an appointment. I wasn't even sure of what they would do. If they would believe me?
Turn me away? Either way I had hoped for a prescription for suboxone because at the time my life literally depended on it. I took my last dose of loperamide on December 10th, 2014. On December 12, 2014 I walked into my appointment at 8 am sick from withdrawal hoping that I'd had already gotten half the induction process done and over with.
I met with the addiction specialist, told her my story, and watched her scribble down a prescription. I asked her what it was and she told me it was naloxone and that I didn't need suboxone. I plead with her telling her that would only certainly make me extremely ill at best while sitting in the waiting area. She then told me to at least hang around and wait for the doctor and that I would "at least get something".
I was extremely close to just leaving and heading to the nearest Walgreens for a bottle of lope. I know for sure that would have been death. Some strange inner voice told me to just wait it out for a few more minutes. I finally saw the doctor and this person literally saved my life.
I told her my situation and what they were trying to give me. She immediately got this look of surprise and alarm on her face and left the room. To my surprise she returned back with 4 other doctors and the same addiction specialist. She informed me that 4 other people in my city had already seen her for the same problem I was having.
She said 2 went to inpatient detox and 2 went on suboxone. I opted for suboxone and they issued an apology and handed my a prescription for suboxone while also asking me to stick around for tests. My liver was inflamed, they did blood work, and I went home to take my dose and waited to feel better. To my surprise, even though I'd already waited 50 hours, I only started feeling worse and then was thrown into precipitated withdrawal.
That was the worst 8 hours of withdrawal I've ever been through. I knew nothing would help but time so I kept slowly taking more sub knowing the only thing I could do is ride it out. That morning I was at least not writhing, rolling around, and literally screaming in pain anymore. 6 hours later I could get some soup down, take some hot showers.
By the next morning I finally felt well. The next 3 or 4 months my arrhythmia's still happened but lessened in frequency before eventually going away altogether. Thank you to those that have taken the time to read all of this and my story. Now to the present problems and my questions.
Until earlier this month I'd been fine and then suddenly for no reason the heart problems have started to come back. They have started to happen more frequently, almost daily and are getting worse and longer in intensity. Now anything that would normally speed up my heart triggers it. I was playing a pc game yesterday morning and just that alone caused it to happen.
This time though instead of my heart just speeding up and palpitating it immediately went from 100 beats per minute to almost stopping. I could feel it pound and almost throb or contract in my chest as if it was struggling to stay beating. Boom, almost 3 seconds would pass, boom, 3 seconds would pass.... I've done some research.
I was taking diphenhydramine and valerian root for sleep for the past 6 months along with drinking an energy drink every morning. I've since abruptly stopped all three things after reading they all can trigger arrhythmia. It's been 3 days and I still don't feel well. I know that the FDA has finally admitted that abusing loperamide can and does cause these heart complications.
What I need to know is if they are long term or permanent. I'm probably going to go in to the doctor today I feel that if I try to wait things out any longer I could die. The clinic that I went to for the suboxone never ran any tests on my heart. They did some overdue hep c and hiv tests which were luckily negative but since my heart issues went away for almost over a year I never hounded or asked them for them. Any information or knowledge from anyone unfortunate enough to be in a similar situation as mine would be appreciated. Do not take more than 15 or 20 of these at a time and even at that I'd advise against it. Your life isn't worth the adverse effects of large doses of this drug. Had I known the risks back then I'd of never done it. Take that from this if nothing else.
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