Looking for Critiques

[Aldousage]

I'm currently writing two weekly blogs in the guise of rival cult leaders.

The first is written as "Canaderek" and is called "Elbonism".

The other is a Scientology parody written as "Rev Neil Pudding", called "SOK: The Society Of Kneeophytes".

Could a mod let me know whether or not I can post a link to the blogs, or post a copy of the work (they're each about 500 words)?

Thanks,
Aldousage

 

[Aldousage]

I'll continue waiting on whether or not a link is okay.

Meanwhile, I'm sure it will be okay for me to post an excerpt, judging from other posts in this subforum.


The Society Of Kneeophytes

Part One: SOK's First Steps

As with the tale of Eden, our story begins with two lovers.

In the Autumn of 1986, Carl Spaught met Gwendolyn Runn at college in Wilmot, Arkansas. Gwen had been studying general level bestiality, but was coaxed by her husband-to-be into dropping it and instead taking several courses in illustration.

Three years later, the young couple married, fusing together their lives and their last names. A year after that, their first joint effort was published, “Diana Talks”, a children’s story about a Princess who tries to uncover an evil conspiracy. The book, a virtual bestseller in their neighborhood, led to the Spaught-Runns’ “Make Believe With Me!” series, including the award-winning* “Make Believe With Me! – Moon Landing???”.
* SOK Publications’ “Best Children’s Book of All Time”

Then, on August the seventh, 1999, for the first time ever, the aliens contacted C. Spaught-Runn. Unfortunately, he almost immediately forgot what they’d told him, and so a hypnotist was consulted. Japan’s then-teenaged Anne Unaki was at that time already considered one of the planet’s foremost experts on alien psychic powers. Intrigued by Carl’s meeting with the other-worlders, she ended up moving in with the Spaught-Runns. Despite her unpleasant and untreatable skin condition, young Anne was soon welcomed into the family as if she were their own maid.

Hypnotherapist and Ufologist Anne Unaki

 

[Aldousage]

To continue, an excerpt from:

Part Two: I Can Knee Clearly Now

The aliens who regularly speak with children’s author C. Spaught-Runn have much knowledge to offer. For example, through SOK’s resident psychic/ufologist and alien translator, Anne Unaki, CS-R has learned about the very real dangers of optometry.

“People are attaching shards of glass to their faces, and even putting rubbery chunks of shaped petrochemicals beneath their eyelids! And for what?! Optometry is unsafe, unnecessary and just plain rotten!” – from C. Spaught-Runn’s “Me, Myself and Eye: How Opticians Are Destroying America”.

Since the Spring of 2003, The Society Of Kneeophytes has set up fully-staffed “Vision Booths” in the downtown regions of eighteen cities across the United States and Canada. At these booths, anyone interested can take an absolutely free eye exam. Dependent on the results of these tests, participants will have recommended to them the best possible course of action to improve their sight. Often this involves becoming a member of SOK.