After a few stressful months and some very frustrating interactions within the medical health system, I just thought
it might be useful to note down a simple practice that has helped me. Saved my integrity, in fact. Please use your
own discretion, because as with anything at all, circumstances are everything.
I was outright accused of being a doctor shopper a few days back and I had to control myself and maintain a calm
demeanor, because I was in desperate need of diazpam (which I've been scripted many times from the same clinic) but
my regular GP was not available on weekends. I had a full blown panic attack last Friday night, and as with the last
four or so times, my girlfriend was there to "bring me back". But it's taking a huge toll on her. It broke my heart
when she said "This is killing me. I'm calling an ambulance if it happens again. I can't take it." I had been trying to
tough out valium withdrawals on my own but it was getting worse, not better. So I made an appointment to see a GP
because it was a matter of importance and required assistance ASAP.
The GP I saw was new to me, and the first thing she saw when she opened my file was that awful letter from the
psychiatrist which will not go away, making every GP visit like a trial where I have to defend my innocence. What I
do not appreciate is not been given half a chance to talk about my side. The psych's letter instantly changed this lady
GP's demeanor and she unceremoniously called me a doctor shopper and a liar. She said she felt uncomfortable with
me, and eventually agreed to write a script for 3x5mg diazepam because you could see that I was in a state of extreme
discomfort and struggling for breath. She said that the pyschiatrist had never given me diazepam, after reading his
letter in which he has accused me of abusing benzos and tyring to work the system to get drugs. I have NEVER done
this.
If I want drugs, I get them. I don't need doctors for that.
I told her I had indeed received a valid script for diazepam from the psychiatrist. She didn't look at me or stop reading the letter, she simply said "No you didn;t" which just about broke me. I wanted to shout in anger and disappointment that I would be persecuted without ANY say or chance to explain. So I filled my scipt for 3 valium and returned on Monday to see my regular GP - and here's the critical part... I brought along
every single box of benzos that I've had filled with labels clearly preserved. The psych did indeed script me diaz - double the amount that I usually got from the GP. That's when the tables turned. My regular GP is a reasonable man,
and you could see the conflict on his face, but you can't argue with a genuinely dispensed script. Within seconds he was looking at me in a different way, and he made notes on the computer - ABOUT THE PSYCH!!
"Not good at all" he said shaking his head as he wrote some stuff which hopefully absolves me. I think the letter remains but I have earned back the trust of a decent GP, and a decent man, and after that he spent three times longer than usual, asking and listening in a way he's never done before. I could see the change - he actually believes me now. He restored my diazepam script and we discussed realistic ways to taper down - which is what I want.
He even laughed when he asked how I felt about trying a different psych and I replied: "I wouldn't rule it out, but I'm not in any hurry after the last one". hahaaha! The most deadpan serious GP laughed at the expense of that psychiatrist. I know this is petty, but fuck it, that damning letter and his bizarre unprofessionalism caused me so much trouble.
If you're like me, and don't have any regular GP for more than a few years at a time - I have moved a lot for work and just changes in living arrangements - it can be very hard to find a good GP. Unfortunately, in my experience, there are too many GPs who see themselves as judges and the patient is guilty until they prove themselves innocent. It's enough to make you simply give up adn not go.
My main point is this: Keep the empty packets of anything you are prescribed (this is especially important if they are potential drugs of abuse) and preserve them, because they may be the only thing you have if shit goes wrong. A prescription box with patient name, dispensing doctor's name and date, and location of pharmacy where script was dispensed should be clearly visible.
One packet like that will speak more loudly and help your case more than a million words out of your mouth. In this case it was the turning point. THe psych maintains that he never scripted me diaz, and yet there it is on the bottle.
Suddenly the assumptions were melting and the GP was listening to me and taking me serious, even being concerned that the psych may be dangerous for other clients.
It should not be the case that, in a country whose government encourages people suffering from anxiety and depression seek help in the medical system, many GPs are very, very quick to make snap judgement based on how you look, how old you are, and whatever else. It is very ugly to find out first hand that a patients' word holds less than one tenth the authority of a psychiatrist, or even a regular GP. I have been told repeatedly that I'm lying, without any chance to say anything.
Keep the paperwork, let it speak for itself.
Thanks for reading.
it might be useful to note down a simple practice that has helped me. Saved my integrity, in fact. Please use your
own discretion, because as with anything at all, circumstances are everything.
I was outright accused of being a doctor shopper a few days back and I had to control myself and maintain a calm
demeanor, because I was in desperate need of diazpam (which I've been scripted many times from the same clinic) but
my regular GP was not available on weekends. I had a full blown panic attack last Friday night, and as with the last
four or so times, my girlfriend was there to "bring me back". But it's taking a huge toll on her. It broke my heart
when she said "This is killing me. I'm calling an ambulance if it happens again. I can't take it." I had been trying to
tough out valium withdrawals on my own but it was getting worse, not better. So I made an appointment to see a GP
because it was a matter of importance and required assistance ASAP.
The GP I saw was new to me, and the first thing she saw when she opened my file was that awful letter from the
psychiatrist which will not go away, making every GP visit like a trial where I have to defend my innocence. What I
do not appreciate is not been given half a chance to talk about my side. The psych's letter instantly changed this lady
GP's demeanor and she unceremoniously called me a doctor shopper and a liar. She said she felt uncomfortable with
me, and eventually agreed to write a script for 3x5mg diazepam because you could see that I was in a state of extreme
discomfort and struggling for breath. She said that the pyschiatrist had never given me diazepam, after reading his
letter in which he has accused me of abusing benzos and tyring to work the system to get drugs. I have NEVER done
this.
If I want drugs, I get them. I don't need doctors for that.
I told her I had indeed received a valid script for diazepam from the psychiatrist. She didn't look at me or stop reading the letter, she simply said "No you didn;t" which just about broke me. I wanted to shout in anger and disappointment that I would be persecuted without ANY say or chance to explain. So I filled my scipt for 3 valium and returned on Monday to see my regular GP - and here's the critical part... I brought along
every single box of benzos that I've had filled with labels clearly preserved. The psych did indeed script me diaz - double the amount that I usually got from the GP. That's when the tables turned. My regular GP is a reasonable man,
and you could see the conflict on his face, but you can't argue with a genuinely dispensed script. Within seconds he was looking at me in a different way, and he made notes on the computer - ABOUT THE PSYCH!!
"Not good at all" he said shaking his head as he wrote some stuff which hopefully absolves me. I think the letter remains but I have earned back the trust of a decent GP, and a decent man, and after that he spent three times longer than usual, asking and listening in a way he's never done before. I could see the change - he actually believes me now. He restored my diazepam script and we discussed realistic ways to taper down - which is what I want.
He even laughed when he asked how I felt about trying a different psych and I replied: "I wouldn't rule it out, but I'm not in any hurry after the last one". hahaaha! The most deadpan serious GP laughed at the expense of that psychiatrist. I know this is petty, but fuck it, that damning letter and his bizarre unprofessionalism caused me so much trouble.
If you're like me, and don't have any regular GP for more than a few years at a time - I have moved a lot for work and just changes in living arrangements - it can be very hard to find a good GP. Unfortunately, in my experience, there are too many GPs who see themselves as judges and the patient is guilty until they prove themselves innocent. It's enough to make you simply give up adn not go.
My main point is this: Keep the empty packets of anything you are prescribed (this is especially important if they are potential drugs of abuse) and preserve them, because they may be the only thing you have if shit goes wrong. A prescription box with patient name, dispensing doctor's name and date, and location of pharmacy where script was dispensed should be clearly visible.
One packet like that will speak more loudly and help your case more than a million words out of your mouth. In this case it was the turning point. THe psych maintains that he never scripted me diaz, and yet there it is on the bottle.
Suddenly the assumptions were melting and the GP was listening to me and taking me serious, even being concerned that the psych may be dangerous for other clients.
It should not be the case that, in a country whose government encourages people suffering from anxiety and depression seek help in the medical system, many GPs are very, very quick to make snap judgement based on how you look, how old you are, and whatever else. It is very ugly to find out first hand that a patients' word holds less than one tenth the authority of a psychiatrist, or even a regular GP. I have been told repeatedly that I'm lying, without any chance to say anything.
Keep the paperwork, let it speak for itself.
Thanks for reading.
