RipTheChipper
Greenlighter
- Joined
- May 31, 2016
- Messages
- 1
Thanks for checking out my first post. My name is Rip and I am currently using heroin and prescribed Adderall for my intense ADHD, and Zyprexa for my Bipolar disorder. In my spare time I love to write screenplays, take photographs, Mix Techno, and go on mini-adventures with friends to random places. I used to produce youtube videos for Call of Duty; using only a ballistic knife and tomahawks and was fairly successful. Due to my drug habit I stopped most of these hobbies and focus only on the copping and use of heroin and Oxycodone, mostly heroin nowadays due to me not having a job and wasting the little pile of cash I had saved from working on said drugs.
I went into rehab two months ago, completed and abstained from opiates for a total of 40 days then gave into temptation. I planned on using for one or two days tops and ending up going on a month binge with three or four days out of that month not using. I am still counting days while being active in AA, I am up to 67 days clean according to my bogus day count. Yes I know this is a contradiction, disrespectful to those counting days with actual sobriety, and I am really only fooling myself. I just would not be able to deal with the embarrassment of admitting a relaspe, and would most likely go back to using and not attending AA if I restarted my day count.
AA Has become the foundation used by my closest friends, and if I stop going I truly would not have any kind of a support group or social life. So I choose to still count days. It does affect my mentality, I feel like a fraud, but I do plan on stopping the use of heroin soon.
I was just on day 4 of withdrawals while on a mini-vacation with my family. The second I got back home I ended up using within twenty minutes of coming back home. I really hope I don't have physical withdrawals tomorrow, but am certainly expecting the mental, which I should be able to deal with; should being the key term here.
Anyways I will update this post in the next few days on how I feel tomorrow. I just felt the need to be honest with some strangers on the Internet, to get these things off my chest, it was hurting my soul.
And if you haven't been able to tell, I am very bad wth punctuation, forgive me.
Thanks for checking out my post!
I went into rehab two months ago, completed and abstained from opiates for a total of 40 days then gave into temptation. I planned on using for one or two days tops and ending up going on a month binge with three or four days out of that month not using. I am still counting days while being active in AA, I am up to 67 days clean according to my bogus day count. Yes I know this is a contradiction, disrespectful to those counting days with actual sobriety, and I am really only fooling myself. I just would not be able to deal with the embarrassment of admitting a relaspe, and would most likely go back to using and not attending AA if I restarted my day count.
AA Has become the foundation used by my closest friends, and if I stop going I truly would not have any kind of a support group or social life. So I choose to still count days. It does affect my mentality, I feel like a fraud, but I do plan on stopping the use of heroin soon.
I was just on day 4 of withdrawals while on a mini-vacation with my family. The second I got back home I ended up using within twenty minutes of coming back home. I really hope I don't have physical withdrawals tomorrow, but am certainly expecting the mental, which I should be able to deal with; should being the key term here.
Anyways I will update this post in the next few days on how I feel tomorrow. I just felt the need to be honest with some strangers on the Internet, to get these things off my chest, it was hurting my soul.
And if you haven't been able to tell, I am very bad wth punctuation, forgive me.
Thanks for checking out my post!
