Long time addict seeks support for first time heroin detox- backstory included

[MadamHatter]

Never mind the backstory, I'm an awful person, I'll leave it at that.

I took my last shot this morning and I'm terrified. I've been using heroin heavily for the past two years, now it's time to detox, pretty much cold turkey. I'm very weak willed, a total pussy when it comes to being sick or any kind of discomfort or suffering. I'm trying to have a positive attitude, but I'm scared. I have multivitamins, skullcap, a small amount of 5mg vicodan and Tylenol 3, some L-lysine. I have a comfy bed, towels, puke bucket. Tomorrow I'll be able to get some Immodium.

General advice and/or encouragement is greatly needed and appreciated. Especially would love to hear mental strategies used by those who have gone through heroin withdrawal. Never in the past 2 years have I ever been all the way sick. I always fold like a cheap suit early in.

Humbly asking for help.

 

[MadamHatter]

Nevermind

 

[MadamHatter]

I guess I'm as hopeless as I thought

 

[Stickman Roxy]

I'm in the middle of, hopefully, my last one right now. I've been trying to get clean since Christmas.
Only advice I have is if you fall, get up and try again and again and...

 

[Jabberwocky]

Never mind the backstory, I'm an awful person, I'll leave it at that.

I took my last shot this morning and I'm terrified. I've been using heroin heavily for the past two years, now it's time to detox, pretty much cold turkey. I'm very weak willed, a total pussy when it comes to being sick or any kind of discomfort or suffering. I'm trying to have a positive attitude, but I'm scared. I have multivitamins, skullcap, a small amount of 5mg vicodan and Tylenol 3, some L-lysine. I have a comfy bed, towels, puke bucket. Tomorrow I'll be able to get some Immodium.

General advice and/or encouragement is greatly needed and appreciated. Especially would love to hear mental strategies used by those who have gone through heroin withdrawal. Never in the past 2 years have I ever been all the way sick. I always fold like a cheap suit early in.

Humbly asking for help.

With the codeine, hydrocodone and loperamide you'll be fine. I suggest waiting to take your codeine until day 2, hydrocodone on day 3 and four, the rest of the codeine on day five, and then nothing but loperamide until day six (or whenever you run out of opioids). Don't take anything opioidwise other than the loperamide until you run out of other opioids, unless you're really having bad diarrhea that is.

You're stronger than you know OP. Unless you're shooting like 3 grams a day, a whole hell of a lot of the battle for you sounds like it will be psychological. You've got some strong comfort meds, so you should be fine. If you end up relapsing, try and get some buprenorphine and a benzo next time you kick. Try not to beat yourself up. You can do this!

 

[MadamHatter]

Thanks guys.

I took a 4 hour nap, woke up an hour ago feeling the beginning of withdrawals. I ate a couple vicodan before my nap, took all my supplements; I've been taking pretty large amounts of skullcap throughout the day. When I woke, maybe an hour ago, I was scared and I ate a couple more Vicodin and took more skullcap (I really think the skullcap does have a slight calming effect). I did a cotton shot, which has beaten back the withdrawals for the time being. I know I'm only delaying the inevitable, but I can't help it.

I am so scared.

Thanks again.

 

[Jabberwocky]

It is okay to be scared, what you're going through is really scare!!! Try and put off taking any more opioids until you feel real shitty, because they will help the process along, not drag it out as some fear. If you were dependent on heroin taking hydrocodone or even codeine isn't going to restart your withdrawals as long as you don't use them for more than 3 or 4 days while kicking.

A revolutionary idea: What can you do to love yourself right now?

 

[VastEmpty]

Madam -

I know it's scarier than shit. I've been there. That bone-chilling fear of withdrawals. Ugh. But as someone said earlier, you have good comfort meds. And you will totally get through it. It'll be hard. Fear is just one of the many emotions you will go through the next few days - some good, more not-so-good.

But the only way out of this is through it. You said yourself that you are postponing the inevitable - no better time than now to move past this phase.

You truly are stronger than you think, I believe we all are. Good luck and keep coming back.

- VE

 

[Babuski]

Try Kratom. Toss & Wash megadoses every couple hours. Eventually you will have to pair that back as well. It will fix you up pretty good. You will have your sleep, be able to function. Problem is it acts as a placeholder for your addiction and tolorance. You will have to deal with that later in as I said. You'll be okay.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Madam -

I know it's scarier than shit. I've been there. That bone-chilling fear of withdrawals. Ugh. But as someone said earlier, you have good comfort meds. And you will totally get through it. It'll be hard. Fear is just one of the many emotions you will go through the next few days - some good, more not-so-good.

But the only way out of this is through it. You said yourself that you are postponing the inevitable - no better time than now to move past this phase.

You truly are stronger than you think, I believe we all are. Good luck and keep coming back.

- VE

It's all about recognizing the fear and allowing one's self to experience it, to feel it deeply, as opposed to grabbing ahold of the fear and running away from it, or trying to, by returning to old behaviors.

 

[VastEmpty]

TPD -

Very, very true. I guess that's kind of what I meant by "the only way out is through" - but you said it so much better. Thank you! I had to do a lot of that in my recent past. Chronic pain is the driving force behind my addiction. So I find myself having to sit with the pain whe I'm in withdrawal. It's even worse because it's rebound pain.

Madam -

How are you feeling now? Remember that taking hot baths/showers can help tremendously!

- VE