Ive known my friends at the local dope house 9 yrs and suffice it to say always managed to be away all the times this place has gotten raided. That all ended Feb 15. The pigs came looking for and got a gang banger that had a warrant apparently. I never knew he existed til being in the back of that feckin cop car. . fuck me yet again, although 7 yrs went by without any arrests. I keep a low pro and as for the hot house, they are the only people that are single like me and have welcomed me anytime 24/7. I even kept up the friendships sober the two yrs I was clean, but saw them every 4 mo or so only-for obvious reasons. There had always been a longing to a very small percent for the highs, for the exciting lifestyle that goes with it. Ive known that drugs to me had been THE most intense relationship Ive ever had full of ups, downs, dysfunction like a fatal attraction. My lover although insanely jealous of my time and money making me miss out on what normies enjoy, a life of more diversity and less intensity--gave the lifestyle, the party,the clowns that use and make me feel Im back in my own element, and finally THE SEX. THE INTENSIVE, GLORIOUS, SEX only given chemically instead of in the form of a male body.
The dope IS the best sex ever, romantic and or sexual liasons with me always ended painfully in disappointment or sorrow. My friendships are the only long haul relationships Ive had, that and 3 blood relatives Mom, an Aunt an Uncle-and of course drugs. A dysfunctional lover demanding most of my time but provides great sexless sex. Drugs are the amuzement park I bring to me instead of me going to it. No standing in long lines, the rides last much longer, and no having to drive 2 hrs to get there--chaos always demands a heavy price however. And I knew when drugs came back 4 yrs ago for great sex, of course he'd promise all the fun and none of the former hassles of bogarting my life, finances,and time-and unfortunately often requires jail time because an addict not loaded driving, stealing to get drugs,gets loaded only at home or rarely a friends at where staying the night at is still committing a felony by default.
I had been sound asleep on my friends couch when I got woken up to 7 cop cars demanding we all come outside to talk. Oh fucking great, I thought. I was half asleep, half panicked the most vulnerable time for me. They got me good cause I was unprepared. At the time I thought to leave my purse in the house and that I didnt have anything on my person anyway. Woulda, coulda, shoulda I get pissed what I shoulda said an done an what I woulda done had I not just woke up. Never agree to go outside first mistake. Told them hell no when they asked permission to search me, fuck them get a warrant and fine go right ahead bring on the fucking drug sniffing dogs, but Im a citizen not on parole or probation I have my fucking rights and have given no reason or probable cause to warrant a search.
Hindsight. I wanted them to get it over with and leave me the fuck alone but knew it was all over when to my horror the bitch asked "whats this?" retrieving what had been a $5 bag of heroin from my back pocket. I didnt even know it was there. It must have been left over from a time I had no Rx painkillers, the reason I had the small amount. I make it a point never to put bags of dope in my pockets-except obviously one time I didnt. Motherfucker. Damn Orange County taxing and fucking all citizens any which way-and do. "Its heroin in that bag. Turn around, Im placing you under arrest." I had an eerie feeling this scence would play out, except it was when I never saw it coming.
The dope IS the best sex ever, romantic and or sexual liasons with me always ended painfully in disappointment or sorrow. My friendships are the only long haul relationships Ive had, that and 3 blood relatives Mom, an Aunt an Uncle-and of course drugs. A dysfunctional lover demanding most of my time but provides great sexless sex. Drugs are the amuzement park I bring to me instead of me going to it. No standing in long lines, the rides last much longer, and no having to drive 2 hrs to get there--chaos always demands a heavy price however. And I knew when drugs came back 4 yrs ago for great sex, of course he'd promise all the fun and none of the former hassles of bogarting my life, finances,and time-and unfortunately often requires jail time because an addict not loaded driving, stealing to get drugs,gets loaded only at home or rarely a friends at where staying the night at is still committing a felony by default.
I had been sound asleep on my friends couch when I got woken up to 7 cop cars demanding we all come outside to talk. Oh fucking great, I thought. I was half asleep, half panicked the most vulnerable time for me. They got me good cause I was unprepared. At the time I thought to leave my purse in the house and that I didnt have anything on my person anyway. Woulda, coulda, shoulda I get pissed what I shoulda said an done an what I woulda done had I not just woke up. Never agree to go outside first mistake. Told them hell no when they asked permission to search me, fuck them get a warrant and fine go right ahead bring on the fucking drug sniffing dogs, but Im a citizen not on parole or probation I have my fucking rights and have given no reason or probable cause to warrant a search.
Hindsight. I wanted them to get it over with and leave me the fuck alone but knew it was all over when to my horror the bitch asked "whats this?" retrieving what had been a $5 bag of heroin from my back pocket. I didnt even know it was there. It must have been left over from a time I had no Rx painkillers, the reason I had the small amount. I make it a point never to put bags of dope in my pockets-except obviously one time I didnt. Motherfucker. Damn Orange County taxing and fucking all citizens any which way-and do. "Its heroin in that bag. Turn around, Im placing you under arrest." I had an eerie feeling this scence would play out, except it was when I never saw it coming.
