I've had really bad nightmares for about the past ten years or so. The ones that leave you sweating and shaking like you five years old again wishing you had a damn night-light. Too scared to get the hell out of bed to go turn the light on or simply roll over and go back to sleep so instead you sit there and watch the shadows waiting..for who knows what.
The past year though they've gotten worse, I don't know if this is a real term or not but night terrors seem to fit my dreams better now. I've already scared the hell out of people by screaming in my sleep. They have become so much more vivid/real, without me taking anything to help that.
I woke up from a dream the other night crying and in my dream there was someone holding my shoulders (yes I know it was most likely because I was tense) but my shoulders ached for the rest of the day and no I didn't check to see if there were marks. Honestly I was to scared that if there were I wouldn't ever be able to sleep again. I know it was only being upset and tense but I was so fucked up by the events of the dream that I went to run out of the room, getting my foot stuck in my backpack and falling on my ass. Than not being able to find the light switch and open the door. This all happened at 3 AM and I was shocked that I didn't wake up the whole house, thankfully they all snore.
That dream was at least not the same as they usually are. Still, I have never gone running out of a room for any dream I've ever had before.
For the most part It's a replay of having to watch my late husband while he commits suicide. Almost every night from him getting the drop light to the quiet music playing and his complete stillness.
I hate sleeping...
Just thinking about it I start shaking.
I just want to be held and to be able to hold onto someone...
The past year though they've gotten worse, I don't know if this is a real term or not but night terrors seem to fit my dreams better now. I've already scared the hell out of people by screaming in my sleep. They have become so much more vivid/real, without me taking anything to help that.
I woke up from a dream the other night crying and in my dream there was someone holding my shoulders (yes I know it was most likely because I was tense) but my shoulders ached for the rest of the day and no I didn't check to see if there were marks. Honestly I was to scared that if there were I wouldn't ever be able to sleep again. I know it was only being upset and tense but I was so fucked up by the events of the dream that I went to run out of the room, getting my foot stuck in my backpack and falling on my ass. Than not being able to find the light switch and open the door. This all happened at 3 AM and I was shocked that I didn't wake up the whole house, thankfully they all snore.
That dream was at least not the same as they usually are. Still, I have never gone running out of a room for any dream I've ever had before.
For the most part It's a replay of having to watch my late husband while he commits suicide. Almost every night from him getting the drop light to the quiet music playing and his complete stillness.
I hate sleeping...
Just thinking about it I start shaking.
I just want to be held and to be able to hold onto someone...
