~lonely~

[neverwas]

sometime I think im my own worst enemy
always wanting to be put out of my misery
my mind turns to chaos
theres no one here to surround me

i never thought I could feel so lonely
surrounded by people
bustling with laughter
cheery with conversations

but even I can feel empty…
even I need time to hide…

my heart sinks futhur
and my eyes grow weaker
reaching for tissues
tears bring pain wanting a release

sleepless nights
mixed with endless hours
just wanting to be surrounded
just wanting some form of love

i just want company
i just want a conversation
something that’s not text based
something that’s live and real.

whinging and complaining
to busy to take my call
hopeless at keeping meeting times
we’re just as bad as one another.

Yet im the one that always falls
im the one who always feels so empty...

i talk to over 200 people
every day I am at work
same routines same bullshit conversations
yet I love the atmosphere
i love the smut and dirt.

sometimes I think im my own worst enemy
am i eating both ends of the biscuit
just to hurt myself?
just wanting someone to save me?

my life isnt easy
and my heart always takes to much care of my others
but thats just me and the life i lead
sometimes i think im my own worst enemy

 

[therealbeats]

this is a good poem.

definately, hits home.