living for each day

[lilygirl]

Too busy waiting to grow up
to savor individual moments
Every experience, just one step closer to our miraculous future
That doesn’t even exist
What if we don’t succeed?
You aren’t a famous director and I’m still holding my feelings in
blaming others when they get hurt.
What will be left?
The times when we hadn’t experienced the sins growing up tempt us with.
When our future was so distant that we truly lived for each day
you and I being equals
Sitting in your room sipping soda
Talking all night
Giggling without drugs as our excuse for being so immature
Everything seeming so new
Now that simple joy can’t exist
This day holds no value in our minds
Because it’s just an overused replica of yesterday
I sit in your car
today
Listening to you talk about your sexual exploits
And
All I can think about is, “where did it all go?
Look what we sacrificed when we left our innocence behind.
Now, why do all those moments seem so far away in my mind?

 

[up all night]

I know exactly what you mean. I miss the innocence of youth, when a ball and a park meant a perfect afternoon.
I look around at the friends I've had since i was five and six and want to erase the reality they have to now deal with and take them back to the days where we lived in our imaginations.
These days we only seem to find fun in things that hurt and destroy us....things in which the entire attraction is the danger and perhaps stupidity of it.
I was talking to a close girlfriend of mine the other day who had just been through a succession of horror boyfriends and i asked why she kept choosing men that treated her like shit. Her reply was that desire and suffering made her feel alive and she was sick of feeling so apathetic and indifferent.
I want those days back when an ice cream cone meant bliss.
I hate growing up.

 

[LilkelPixy]

every now and then you've just gotta let the ice cream cone BE bliss. i got a huge "super bouncing ball" from a $1.00 vending machine last night. it smells like lemons. nothing has made me so happy all week long.
~PixyK.