I stood there in the
nothing cradling everything,
caressed by a void of stars,
brought there by a mysterious force
on the other side of the ordinary.
It lifted me through the Limbo,
carried me through the rising, waving
AM-like frequencies and into the
distant sound of children's laughter:
an eerie soundtrack for this
doubly-strange trip off conscious orbit
and into the altered state in this
discovered and explored but un-mastered
non-corporeal country.
Who are you there? And where am I this time?
A second; then my immaterial eyes widen:
I’m in space, I’m in the stars, I’m in
absolute awe and ecstasy and I’m unafraid as
a force, unseen and unnamed, guides me
across the black sea punctured with
tiny shimmering lights, but now
Something’s coming into view,
Something curious, something
I can almost make out, but not quite;
it’s the side of a massive sphere rimmed with light?
I was turned, and there was only
a moment's confusion; then realization
hit me like lightning.
It was as if every extra-sense had blossomed,
blissfully acute as I tried to take
all of this moment in, every possible
portion of this vision in and
etch it deeply in my consciousness.
I opened myself, naked and unafraid,
never so peaceful and tranquil,
never so ecstatic, so whisked away by such a
sight, such a spiritual experience;
my consciousness grew and stretched to
try and embrace her, to resonate,
being her wouldn't be close enough, I'm so
lost in this, my very essence is
weeping in exhilaration,
caring for nothing else, for she
is everything to me, the
embodiment of every hope and dream.
How had I come to be here?
I'd been pulled down and in and
out the other way, into the other side and
now I stood before her from the
outside looking in,
I stood before her,
in the Neither Up Nor Down.
I'd lived so many lives with
my face plastered to a nanometric edge
of a painting of unimaginable dimensions,
and finally, in this moment,
pulled away, pulled back
from the rollercoaster blur of suffering
and into an emotional cosmic
hurricane of meaning as I took a glimpse,
with wide, open eyes, into the masterpiece
in all of her wondrous totality;
the magnificent artistry in all her glory;
the bigger picture; the blue-green nest
that holds us and her children:
Our adopted mother, my adopted mother,
I never knew your awesome beauty...
Through time, my sight's grown blurry,
but the weariness is wiped away as
I stare down into you, like an eye reversed,
I wish to melt into you, feed this surge,
I want to swim in you now, merge in the sky,
once so far above me, now so far below.
Space is just spiritual sex, but you're
the irradiating embodiment of love,
but here I'm cut off at the climax again,
this unnamed force now, turning me around,
turning me back, pulling me away…
I don't want to leave I just
can't leave yet, you must understand,
whoever you are, whatever you are,
just one more moment, can't you
buy be some time? Just another moment, please,
anything, just let me, anything:
I'm like an infant weeping in space,
and the unnamed doesn't answer, there's just
a pause, a surprised confusion over my reaction
that hits me like an emotional shockwave,
as if it had somehow just realized
that I was there for the very first time.
I begged and plead for just another moment,
but it was too late, and I was slipping away, falling back,
fade to black, floating up again,
changing channels, shifting states,
fading in.
Back to the ordinary,
with my eyes already open, staring out my
bedroom window, eyes watering over
a perceptual expansion
during a subjective crisis.
I was so hoping I could stay
just a bit longer, get a bit closer,
move a bit more in her atmosphere,
uninhibited, unbound, free in the airs
of a blue-green hope,
but I just smiled and let
the feeling I brought back with me flow
through me, an impossible memory,
a full-sensory melody, remembering how
my consciousness expanded there in the
attempts to merge with hers.
Here I am, back in body, back on ground,
I can only smile and go, "wow", as I
pledge to be with you through the
thick and thin and back again, and I
sigh and I know now that I'm only-half here
and I want to fly but I've got to find
some ground again, find a way back into a smile,
the answers will come in time, because
I'll never give up, if this and they are real,
I'm with you all the way, and we'll
plow on through the change and
get through the final days, a
hope is blossoming in this
liminal state.
[ 13 January 2003: Message edited by: rewiiired ]
nothing cradling everything,
caressed by a void of stars,
brought there by a mysterious force
on the other side of the ordinary.
It lifted me through the Limbo,
carried me through the rising, waving
AM-like frequencies and into the
distant sound of children's laughter:
an eerie soundtrack for this
doubly-strange trip off conscious orbit
and into the altered state in this
discovered and explored but un-mastered
non-corporeal country.
Who are you there? And where am I this time?
A second; then my immaterial eyes widen:
I’m in space, I’m in the stars, I’m in
absolute awe and ecstasy and I’m unafraid as
a force, unseen and unnamed, guides me
across the black sea punctured with
tiny shimmering lights, but now
Something’s coming into view,
Something curious, something
I can almost make out, but not quite;
it’s the side of a massive sphere rimmed with light?
I was turned, and there was only
a moment's confusion; then realization
hit me like lightning.
It was as if every extra-sense had blossomed,
blissfully acute as I tried to take
all of this moment in, every possible
portion of this vision in and
etch it deeply in my consciousness.
I opened myself, naked and unafraid,
never so peaceful and tranquil,
never so ecstatic, so whisked away by such a
sight, such a spiritual experience;
my consciousness grew and stretched to
try and embrace her, to resonate,
being her wouldn't be close enough, I'm so
lost in this, my very essence is
weeping in exhilaration,
caring for nothing else, for she
is everything to me, the
embodiment of every hope and dream.
How had I come to be here?
I'd been pulled down and in and
out the other way, into the other side and
now I stood before her from the
outside looking in,
I stood before her,
in the Neither Up Nor Down.
I'd lived so many lives with
my face plastered to a nanometric edge
of a painting of unimaginable dimensions,
and finally, in this moment,
pulled away, pulled back
from the rollercoaster blur of suffering
and into an emotional cosmic
hurricane of meaning as I took a glimpse,
with wide, open eyes, into the masterpiece
in all of her wondrous totality;
the magnificent artistry in all her glory;
the bigger picture; the blue-green nest
that holds us and her children:
Our adopted mother, my adopted mother,
I never knew your awesome beauty...
Through time, my sight's grown blurry,
but the weariness is wiped away as
I stare down into you, like an eye reversed,
I wish to melt into you, feed this surge,
I want to swim in you now, merge in the sky,
once so far above me, now so far below.
Space is just spiritual sex, but you're
the irradiating embodiment of love,
but here I'm cut off at the climax again,
this unnamed force now, turning me around,
turning me back, pulling me away…
I don't want to leave I just
can't leave yet, you must understand,
whoever you are, whatever you are,
just one more moment, can't you
buy be some time? Just another moment, please,
anything, just let me, anything:
I'm like an infant weeping in space,
and the unnamed doesn't answer, there's just
a pause, a surprised confusion over my reaction
that hits me like an emotional shockwave,
as if it had somehow just realized
that I was there for the very first time.
I begged and plead for just another moment,
but it was too late, and I was slipping away, falling back,
fade to black, floating up again,
changing channels, shifting states,
fading in.
Back to the ordinary,
with my eyes already open, staring out my
bedroom window, eyes watering over
a perceptual expansion
during a subjective crisis.
I was so hoping I could stay
just a bit longer, get a bit closer,
move a bit more in her atmosphere,
uninhibited, unbound, free in the airs
of a blue-green hope,
but I just smiled and let
the feeling I brought back with me flow
through me, an impossible memory,
a full-sensory melody, remembering how
my consciousness expanded there in the
attempts to merge with hers.
Here I am, back in body, back on ground,
I can only smile and go, "wow", as I
pledge to be with you through the
thick and thin and back again, and I
sigh and I know now that I'm only-half here
and I want to fly but I've got to find
some ground again, find a way back into a smile,
the answers will come in time, because
I'll never give up, if this and they are real,
I'm with you all the way, and we'll
plow on through the change and
get through the final days, a
hope is blossoming in this
liminal state.
[ 13 January 2003: Message edited by: rewiiired ]
Last edited:
