Captain.Heroin
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Nov 3, 2008
- Messages
- 94,868
He's the kind of guy to keep helping you even if you go out of your way to try to push him away, he is like THE BEST friend (next to madness & mal) that I have ever made on this site. He truly has a loving heart, a good spirit/soul and is probably the most moral of aforementioned people (except for mal he's an angel on earth too
) madness and I are the bad bois but we're not that bad but you know me I love 'em bad bois CJ has talked me off the ledge before, I may not still be alive thanks to literally CJ (and madness). Mal if you ever convinced me not to take my life, I don't remember seriously cuz brain dead = you likely have and I repressed it due to the nature of ptsd.
Thank you for being truly good people with amazing spirits/souls. Never stop being true to who any of you are. Maybe he didn't drop you, but was scared to make the next brave move. It took me 7 days of alc/benzos to ask a dude I really liked out and he fuckin' blew it and blew my heart for a few months with it because I'm not one of those ppl who get stood up (norm. the other ppl are fretting if I'm showing up etc).
He may also be working on himself to be a better person and I can attest if he's 10% of the badboi I am, he probably was in the right to work on himself = something I NEED TO BE DOING MORE.
I don't know what transpired between you two (and if either/both of y'all told me I totally DXM-erased that info) but know that I don't think he would drop you after receiving help. Madness has gone out of his way to be a true friend to me, for literally no reason whatsoever. Literally.
I'm sure if you gave him a 2nd chance he'd be there for you, because like, very very very very very very few people IRL or here will put up w/ my torrent of mental illnesses.
I'm not saying to give him a 2nd chance tho LET ME HAVE HIM HE'S SO HOT :D but seriously, give madness a TINY break even if you can't FORGIVE, try to accept he didn't have malice in his heart regarding his actions and if you still think so, you might be right but I really think he's a lover not a hater on the inside.
A lot of men are scared to act on love/passion emotions or making the move too quick because THAT IS EXACTLY HOW I BLEW it w/ the last person I was crushing on like mad. I did! it's like, if I blow up your phone = I'm bothering you, and if I don't text enough days in a row = "I'm ignoring you"; this shit literally happened to me. It's hard to know JUST THE RIGHT RHYTHM to keep someone feeling secure. And I'm the SUPER SUPER SUPER insecure one.
Again, don't forgive him, let me have 'em to myself please :D but, PLUR perspectives
and it's not just in the gay community; straight guys if they make a move too soon the girl will not be interested/taken by his suaveness; if he acts too late = FRIEND ZONE'D. Some women have more generous windows than others but I have witnessed LESS THAN AN HOUR window, perhaps MINUTES in some scenarios. That's a very intimidating scenario for a straight guy who MIGHT legitimately like you (AGAIN the last guy was playing my heart for my D.... I don't think he's doing that because he's a pussy magnet IMHO? But again what do I know?)
Forgiveness or at least acceptance and finding that inner peace is a beautiful thing C2C, it just took me days to forgive this IRL guy who broke my heart and I was feeling SUPER salty but I got over it quickly thanks to the good ol' testament.
If you want Pastor Cpt. to cite an old testament passage and interpret it for modern day stuff just holler. It helped me reach a lot of inner peace *even as an atheist*.
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