wiSdoMiKaL
Bluelighter
and words are as empty as the threats that they make.
think about it, what if you were to die today??would you be happy to leave, and fulfilled with knowledge that your life is right, move on to the greener pastures?
or would you slowly shake your head, in dissadence and hurt...
knowing that your life is but a big game to you?
would you be happy in the choices you've made, would you be free to leave, knowing there are no loose ends. would you be able to say "i have loved enough" would you be able to say "i have given enough" would you throw your hands up in dispair and claim to the heavens "i am not enough"???
would you be able to be lain to your eternal rest, rested? can you rest? is your existence as futile as mine? will say say "i have hurt enough" and be thankful for the dawning of the nothing?
i sometimes wish i could flip a switch, turn all feeling OFF. turn all emotion OFF. turn all thoughts OFF. turn all knowledge OFF. and turn love OFF. sometimes i sit, and i dont know why i cry. sometimes i do know why i cry, and that makes me sob harder then ever before.
sometimes i watch others in their lives, and realise that "hey, they may be just as lonely and fukked up as me." and sometimes i find help in the shared burden of pain.
is it all too much? this dark depraived love for the depression? is it wrong to want to stay, curled up in it, forever? because the end seems so hard to obtain, and if your not carefull, your just gonna end up right back here again. so why not live it? why not live it like your dead?
why not just die, and then see if your ready to say "i have loved enough." and say "i have been enough." because you wont be able to say it.
were all sh*t stains on the mattress. go ahead, mock me, riddicule me, laught at me. its true.
were all dregs of society which has created our own cliquey society and the destruction that has come upon us is amazingly fantastically EVIL.
perhaps thats what happens when the "REAL WORLD" simply is'nt good enough.
take the plunge, die tommorrow.
the world goes on regardless.
someone somewhere will shed a tear, but dont hold your breath forever.
(here the part where i start to sound like a commonwealth bank advert)
dont be afraid to LIVE LIFE, in all its glory and sweetness.
i know i am, and its not a happy place to be.
love. show it. tell your grandma you miss her. tell your mum you love her.tell your dad that no matter how many fukk ups he's made, theres still something there, it perhaps may be love, but you dont know, becuz its never been allowed to grow.
talk to your maryjane plants. it promotes faster more productive growth.
eat a bar of chocolate, dont feel guitly about it and throw it up.
call the people who mean something to you. i have and its the greatest thing to hear them pick up the phone and smile to hear your voice.
dont smoke bongs, they wreck your brain.
dont crawl into a world filled with lines and acid and pills, but if you do, make sure your 100% happy doing it.
dont be depressed, becuz theres so much of life that your missing.
go to the olympics, and attempt to streak across the track and feild, or ****** dip in the pool.
smoke crack, why not? you do every other drug under the sun.
shoot smack, its a nice feeling, i think you'll enjoy it.
punch up on your brother, it feels good, but when he grows bigger then you, you feel bad. it hurts like fukk and hes a master at chinese burns.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
aiight... just to clear the air..
im going thru sh*t, everyone is, and hell, its good 2 vent.
so yeah, no one take this personally, its just sum thoughts ive had.
peace n luv
xox wiSdoMiKaL
------------------
be, simply, YOU...
and love, eternally, yourself
think about it, what if you were to die today??would you be happy to leave, and fulfilled with knowledge that your life is right, move on to the greener pastures?
or would you slowly shake your head, in dissadence and hurt...
knowing that your life is but a big game to you?
would you be happy in the choices you've made, would you be free to leave, knowing there are no loose ends. would you be able to say "i have loved enough" would you be able to say "i have given enough" would you throw your hands up in dispair and claim to the heavens "i am not enough"???
would you be able to be lain to your eternal rest, rested? can you rest? is your existence as futile as mine? will say say "i have hurt enough" and be thankful for the dawning of the nothing?
i sometimes wish i could flip a switch, turn all feeling OFF. turn all emotion OFF. turn all thoughts OFF. turn all knowledge OFF. and turn love OFF. sometimes i sit, and i dont know why i cry. sometimes i do know why i cry, and that makes me sob harder then ever before.
sometimes i watch others in their lives, and realise that "hey, they may be just as lonely and fukked up as me." and sometimes i find help in the shared burden of pain.
is it all too much? this dark depraived love for the depression? is it wrong to want to stay, curled up in it, forever? because the end seems so hard to obtain, and if your not carefull, your just gonna end up right back here again. so why not live it? why not live it like your dead?
why not just die, and then see if your ready to say "i have loved enough." and say "i have been enough." because you wont be able to say it.
were all sh*t stains on the mattress. go ahead, mock me, riddicule me, laught at me. its true.
were all dregs of society which has created our own cliquey society and the destruction that has come upon us is amazingly fantastically EVIL.
perhaps thats what happens when the "REAL WORLD" simply is'nt good enough.
take the plunge, die tommorrow.
the world goes on regardless.
someone somewhere will shed a tear, but dont hold your breath forever.
(here the part where i start to sound like a commonwealth bank advert)
dont be afraid to LIVE LIFE, in all its glory and sweetness.
i know i am, and its not a happy place to be.
love. show it. tell your grandma you miss her. tell your mum you love her.tell your dad that no matter how many fukk ups he's made, theres still something there, it perhaps may be love, but you dont know, becuz its never been allowed to grow.
talk to your maryjane plants. it promotes faster more productive growth.
eat a bar of chocolate, dont feel guitly about it and throw it up.
call the people who mean something to you. i have and its the greatest thing to hear them pick up the phone and smile to hear your voice.
dont smoke bongs, they wreck your brain.
dont crawl into a world filled with lines and acid and pills, but if you do, make sure your 100% happy doing it.
dont be depressed, becuz theres so much of life that your missing.
go to the olympics, and attempt to streak across the track and feild, or ****** dip in the pool.
smoke crack, why not? you do every other drug under the sun.
shoot smack, its a nice feeling, i think you'll enjoy it.
punch up on your brother, it feels good, but when he grows bigger then you, you feel bad. it hurts like fukk and hes a master at chinese burns.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
aiight... just to clear the air..
im going thru sh*t, everyone is, and hell, its good 2 vent.
so yeah, no one take this personally, its just sum thoughts ive had.
peace n luv
xox wiSdoMiKaL
------------------
be, simply, YOU...
and love, eternally, yourself
