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Let's write a novel! The fluid story v1...

jakoz

jakoz

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 18, 2001
Messages
3,140
OK... here's the plan....

One writer can make a story that's good. Therefore 100 writers must make something that's 100 times better.

Pick up where the last person left off. %)

**********************************************

John looked over his shoulder. Ruin lay behind him.

A tram lay overturned. The lady holding the bags was still screaming at him. Funny how stress made people look older.

It had happened 30 seconds ago.

His phone rang. It was his ex-wife. His past life was meaningless now. He dropped the phone. It wasn't deliberate... his hand was loose from shock.

He looked up...
 
...and a camel was hurtling towards him from outer space.

"My God" he screamed.

"Ouch, Ouch, stop it" he cried as the lady started hitting him with her bags and in doing so snapping him back to reality.

With the camel fast approaching, he was forced to make a snap decision and he pushed the lady as hard as he could.

Right into the path of the oncoming camel.

He looked down...
 
....picking up his glasses only to see that the camel was in fact not just any camel but a rare Bactrian camel being ridden by Mongol warrior and his midget lover.......
 
...Mini Me.

mini_me.gif


Mini Me looked up at his Mongol manwife. Tears of admiration dripped from his eyes.

They had impaled many lately.

Author's note: fuck me.... don't look up 'impaled' on a Google image search. Unless you're at home alone... then I highly recommend it.

But now they were happy

6a0123ddece781860c01240ba0c527860e-500pi


for they were fucking stoned....
 
however being stoned only lasted a little while.. there was still that whole tram mess that he had to sort out, for walking towards him now were 3 burly yarra trams ticket inspectors wanting to see his ticket..

'shit', he thought.... 'i didn't buy a ticket before i blew up that tram...'

not wanting to have his masterplan foiled by a simple fare evasion charge, he decided to run.

it was only then when the pain hit did he realise he had a broken leg..
 
....as he was laying on the ground in complete agony he thought to himself, holy shit, todays a national free public transport day. He lay there contemplating the fact that this was all just in his head. Till he later woke up pantless in the middle of a park, surrounded by families having a lovely sunday lunch...........
 
The family having their Sunday lunch was obviously one of those new-age jewish-orthodox reformed second-coming of the matrix Jesus families.

John, even in his befuddled pantless state, recognised this fact because the family was all eating with their gloved left hands. Oh, and because they were taking terns sodomising the family cat.

The cat seemed to be ok with this.
 
Indeed, their 6'5" cat loved it.

cat_furry.jpg


He had been with the family only 6 hours since they picked him up as a hitchhiker on the trip back from Vegas, but he seemed a good sort (plus he answered to 'Barry').

Barry might have been one hell of a root, but he also had something to say that impacted all of them:
 
...It was the Bactrian camels mothers older sisters daughters friend from the Mongol battle camp. She had come to warn Barry the cat that Johns Ex-wife was about to give birth to mini mes, the midget warriors, half crab half midget love child and that it was to be ....

180px-Crab_people2.jpg
 
...ordering a deluxe Family Dinner box from his local maccas.

So here they all are, 2 camels, 1 6 foot cat, a crab child midget, a midget, Mongol warrior, an old lady and john. All sitting in the maccas drive threw, waiting for there meals. But as they roll the the last window something horrible happens ...
 
...I'm sorry sir, there will be a 3 minute wait on your cheeseburger.I can not has cheese burger? asks the crab child midget. He contemplated the option of having a McFillet of Fish, then realised he could be eating Jimmy, his old school friend who he hadn't seen since Jimmy went off to "Camp Maccas" never to be seen again......
 
...by anyone except Batman.

Batman had been eating far too much Maccas lately. Superman kinda dug it.

6W8pO.jpg


There they sat. Batman with his manbaby born of happy meals. Superman with his tubby fetish. Their lives were complete...

...until that moment. In walked Wonder Woman. She had some explosive, gender confusing news to share:
 
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