lets just get it over with

[craigyt2k]

really fed up of trying, sure im gonna keep trying, im thinking about suicide, not in any dperessive way at all, just as the most comfortable thing i could imagine apart from just keeping on and the thoughts of not knowing what i would miss if i stayed alive.

is this purgatory or what? if i was to die i would get high as possible on heroin, downers whatever, beer... maybe OD failing that jump of a nice high bridge??

any thoughts? why this is in the dark side im not sure

 

[Nibblez]

I think about suicide pretty often even though I'm pretty damned sure I would never act upon those urges. I think some people just have more of a fascination with death than others.

Sometimes I look at my life and I ask myself what the hell I'm doing on this planet and what the hell I'm good for. When I feel lost and purposeless and feel that life has become bland and superficial my mind will turn to suicide. But then in the end I always convince myself that I can change my life and give myself a purpose and it really helps. Just by living every new day and trying out new activities and broadening my horizons, I feel like I'm expanding the possibilities of my life and increasing the probability of it getting better and becoming much more interesting. Heck, the more you have to work with, the easier it gets in my book.

 

[craigyt2k]

i suppose its like a balance, if the good times out wayed the bad i would be the other way inclined, but your right, its fascinating

 

[Nibblez]

The nice, and I suppose somewhat infuriating thing is that you won't know if the bad times in your life will outweigh the good until you've completely lived your life.

If we go by Forrest Gump's box of chocolates analogy on life, we can say that you won't know for sure if the box of chocolates as a whole was good until you've had every single last piece and compared the number of pieces that tasted good vs. the number of pieces that you didn't like.

Today the bad might outweigh the good, but a month from now maybe a lot of good things happen and it flips around. You never know what tomorrow might bring.

 

[n3ophy7e]

^^ Excellent post Nibblez

craigyt2k, what is going on in your life at the moment that is making you feel like this? Nothing lasts forever so whatever adversity you're facing now will be gone soon, and happiness will be just around the corner. It sounds cliched but it is true.
If you want to talk one-on-one with someone, please feel free to PM me okay? I have been suicidal before and I have always gotten through it, for the better

 

[theartofwar]

Nibblez nailed it - your life is one day at a time. To imagine death as some perfect solution, honestly is irrational. We do not know for a certainty what comes after life, but we do have the choice EACH day to chose to try to improve our living environment. Feel free to PM me - I am around all night and would gladly discuss this with you as it is something I struggle wit quite a lot myself.


Be safe, and again feel free to PM - I am an open book to any and all who need help in this area. Peace brother,

j

 

[Legerity]

There is a way of having peace of mind even when going through the "downs", but it involves letting yourself feel your feelings and think your thoughts without getting caught up in them. Your mind is like a projection screen where all sorts of ideas and images get displayed. You can watch it like a movie and laugh at the ridiculousness of it, but if you believe the images are real then it's easy to get caught up in anxiety/depression.

So yeah we just need to experience the lows sometimes, because we can't always avoid them. But you said yourself that you want to find out what the rest of your life has to offer, so you already have your own answer

 

[rollingstoned!]

I think if you killed yourself you'd just wake up in a life the same as it is now but worse (i.e. harder to get on your feet) and you wouldn't remember killing yourself.