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  • EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed

Let's hear some good insults

I don't find Russell Howard very funny. For me, Mock The Week is all about Frankie Boyle and Andy Parsons. They've had a Canadian guy on a few times recently who's pretty good too.
 
Ham420 said:
My mate told me to 'Hurry up pricknipples' the other day.

The thought of tiny penis nipples is not an easy one to shrug.
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a good one to call birds is "sugar tits" - "alright sugar tits? what's happening?"

some1 mentioned halfwit earlier, patter between some folk i know goes like this

Person 1 "guess wit?"
Person 2 "wit?"
Person 3 "HALFWIT"

basically any way to get the person to say "wit?" then reply with "HALFWIT"

tbh, the normal shout is "TATTIE WIT" rather than halfwit but that actually makes no sense at all.

or "guess where?"
"where?"
"BETTERWEAR"
 
MDMAhead said:
For good insults, try watching Mock The Week (or anything with Frankie Boyle in it). He opened one of his stand-up shows by saying (to a member of the audience):

'You look like someone shaved a monkey and dragged it through TopMan'

:)
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I think he also said to a member of the audience "are you gay or just like the look?"

Granted he's Australian. but if you like Frankie Boyles humour, check out Jim Jeffries... I think he's pretty simliar to Frankie http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C95XbLTJ9SQ&feature=related
 
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tekkeN said:
I think 'penisbreath', when used correctly, is an excellent insult

love it on the animals Brasseye where that guy is spray-painting insults on cows, 'First it was Twat, then later Fucknut and Arsecandle' :D
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Penisbreath and fucknut are awesome.
 
Fucknuts is the shit.
Theres a scene in season 4 of the wire near the end, possibly the last one where Kima is actually wearing a uniform and says to the other guy something like "This shitty detail had better be worth it fucknuts!" And each time I've watched it I've fallen off my chair. Although it has to be said that The Wire has the best swearing ever.
Check out Clay Davis say "SHEEEEEIIIIIIIIT!" a bunch of times and then later Norman Wilson does the best "SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!" ever concieved and I was crying with laughter. I personally think that African-Americans can bring at least as much to the swearing table as Glaswegians.
 
MDMAhead said:
I don't find Russell Howard very funny. For me, Mock The Week is all about Frankie Boyle and Andy Parsons. They've had a Canadian guy on a few times recently who's pretty good too.
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Don't really think andy parsons is that good. That canadian guy can be funny, totally different style of stand up from the brits though.
 
Frankie Boyle and Andy Parsons have me in stitches every week! I agree that the Canadian guy has a very distinct style of humour, although, like Frankie Boyle, his jokes are often very grim and very un-PC.

It's on again in 5 minutes! - they've got David Mitchell on tonight - should be good!!!
 
I'm a fan of 'Greasy muff fart', cock breath is a winner too.
If addressing a wound up lady I might say 'Calm down, don't get your piss-flaps (or beef curtains) in a twist'.
 
wibble said:
Don't really think andy parsons is that good. That canadian guy can be funny, totally different style of stand up from the brits though.
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I always feel Andy Parsons struggles to remember his lines when it's his turn.

Russell Howard is good, but he always tells stories of things he witnessed. He does seem to be in more funny situations than normal people. I know it's all comedy, but it's getting old now.
 
cletus said:
I always feel Andy Parsons struggles to remember his lines when it's his turn.
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Yeah he just has an odd way of delivering lines that I don't quite like, maybe that is it.
I always think Dara is pretty funny.
 
Andy Patterson can't move his head without moving his full upper-body in the same directon.

Once you notice this he starts to annoy you. ;P

Russel and Frankie are the best. The English guy that does the voice-overs is funny too.
 
well fuck me backwards, is this pile of old wank still going? close the thread, mods, you bunch of cock gobbling knob jockey arse bandits. :D
 
hey, if i wanted a comeback fae you i'd wipe it off yer maw's chin.
 
^haha nice thought that. I'll be telling mum what you said.

Back on topic - I've always found it funny when referring to someone being ugly as fuck or spotty, as having a face like a welders bench.
 
too many dose's maw's got a face like a burst welly and a fud like a bucket of wallpaper paste. :D
 
Holding out your middle finger to someone & saying "smell yer ma!"

or mom if your american :D
 
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