Benzos Lethargy, motivation and anxiety

[XANAX XR]

Well, the last time I was up and about, I was actually pretty motivated, busy, and in a good mood WITH/WITHOUT drugs.. I ended up getting some benzos online (flub-lam and clonazolam) and I made a dosing mistake and found myself shooting up through out the day....eventually leading me to commit arson.

I've been free, on-probation, for about 2 weeks now (spent some time locked up, then mandatory rehab) and what I noticed, is that, I'm not so much depressed or even all that anxious (still, annoyingly bothersome and prevents me from doing a lot but it's not the usual anxiety I have) I just have absolutely NO motivation, for anything...except drugs of course because they give me motivation but I'm on a drug-testing program.

I have never been this lethargic nor ever had this lack of motivation in my life this badly, ever. Exercise doesn't really help, hobbies and "necessary" tasks don't really help. I simply don't give a shit about anything, and I've been through some lethargic-periods in my life and I've been able to conquer them, not this one though...

I'm starting to believe that the amount of benzos I took kind of just damaged (probably temporarily) my pleasure center? --just a wild guess.

I don't really know but I'm looking for some sort of remedy... something that helps me obtain that motivation back and get me out of this lethargy.

If you knew me, you'd know I have a lot of potential and could do a lot of things but something is just different and I don't give a shit about anything, I try to but I just don't... it truly sucks to not care and not have any motivation. I'm hoping I can get some med to help get me back on my feet but I am seriously done with idiot-psychiatrists telling me what's right and not letting me say anything and coming back a few weeks later in a much worse condition (because hey, maybe they DO know something....).

 

[speedballs_over]

Reads to my untrained brain as depression / anhedonia. The only substance I'd feel comfortable suggesting when seeing a p-doc (I know, I got the same shit until someone "got" me, understood me enough.) The substance, lamotrigine 200-mg/day (Lamictal.) Most find it very tolerable.

But only if the physician(s) agree, it caused me no interferences, is inexpensive, been around a while and is widely available. It is very wise to do this with a trained physician, one who has prescribed it many times. There was a started pack when I began years ago. It is a box of increasing doses until you hit 200-mg/day, unless you have a seizure disorder then it may run up higher (400-mg) or you may already have tried it.

We now have less sunshine to the north of the equator now that it is 3rd quarter here. If you live above say 25 degrees latitude up/ or even below that you may be feeling seasonally affective disorder. Wellbutrin (US), bupropion generic has helped me in the past. It is a different type of Anti-D. No weight gain, maybe some loss. No significant taper troubles when coming off. Takes a day to a week or two to help. Some find it stops being effective after a while. So I only use it about four weeks, twice a year at the 30 degree lunar crossings ("spring" and "fall")

That's the best I can do for you. It helped exactly what you're describing here for me after many year of poly-substance abuse left me a bit down, with not much to look forward to, although I had everything - supportive family, some money, no jail or arrests, no real problems except my health.

It also resolved a mild mood issue I'd had since a kid, probably an artifact of extreme anxiety daily (GAD) agoraphobia, etc...

I'm just doing well now. I hope you the same.

I wish you the best.

FlubromaZOLAM is too strong and could result in a protracted "I don't give a shit attitude - take that into account. Clonazolam not in any report I've read/heard much, but it's terrible habit forming. I suggest to stay away from it.

 

[pinpoint]

Typical post-acute withdrawal symptoms. It's learning to replace your previous bad habits with healthy ones which is key to staying sober. It's something many people fail at, especially after the initial high of being drug-free (aka pink cloud) wears off. It's up to you to integrate social life, hobbies, exercise & love back in to your life since drugs are clearly not the answer for you.

 

[XANAX XR]

I was actually supposed to get prescribed lamotrigine but gabapentin was being pushed again, yet they won't let me try pregabalin... idk

I might try lamotrigine, however, I'm allergic to sulfonamides and I really don't wanna go down any road closely related to SJS.

And since I have the addiction potential marked on my head, the odds of me gettin bupropion is zero

 

[Screaming_Skull]

Ya.. taking benzo's alot and then stopping is the WORST. I had my sub doc appointement every 2 months for a little bit(but was only going every 3 months...I'm suprised I didn't get kicked out but was taking waaaay less than 16mg a day, like 4-8 at most...sometimes none when I relasped for a weeek or so) but during that time I started eating benzos like crazy, went to my docs appointent and the dr. said I would have to come every month again, but didn't say anything about me failing a drug test..so instead of going every 3 months like I was, had to go every month again and I felt HORRIBLE forever, kinda now getting over it a few months ago. Really deppressed, didn't talk to anyone really, horrible. Still take benzo's but have cut back. Anyway, I had leghtargy, anxiety 100x worse, sore legs, deppressed. Awful. So moral of my story, it's best for your doctor to know your taking something for anxiety so you don't have to stop them to take the drug test...Gabapentin will help with this, but it also has w/ds. Fuck everything does

 

[XANAX XR]

Ya.. taking benzo's alot and then stopping is the WORST. I had my sub doc appointement every 2 months for a little bit(but was only going every 3 months...I'm suprised I didn't get kicked out but was taking waaaay less than 16mg a day, like 4-8 at most...sometimes none when I relasped for a weeek or so) but during that time I started eating benzos like crazy, went to my docs appointent and the dr. said I would have to come every month again, but didn't say anything about me failing a drug test..so instead of going every 3 months like I was, had to go every month again and I felt HORRIBLE forever, kinda now getting over it a few months ago. Really deppressed, didn't talk to anyone really, horrible. Still take benzo's but have cut back. Anyway, I had leghtargy, anxiety 100x worse, sore legs, deppressed. Awful. So moral of my story, it's best for your doctor to know your taking something for anxiety so you don't have to stop them to take the drug test...Gabapentin will help with this, but it also has w/ds. Fuck everything does

Yea, I don't know if it's PAWs, honestly don't give a fuck if it is or not, it's just a medical term >.> My benzo habit wasn't even bad, in recent times... i