Leaving behind cracked friends...?

[tripnotyzm]

8) 8) 8)

I am stuck in a fiesty position, and this question remains, baffling my thoughts and my heart.
'Is it time to move forward & remove the cracked friends from my life??'

For years I have been associating with these guys.. They are good friends of mine.
We used to hang out all the time and do everything together, things that didn't necessarily involve drugs.
But now our hangs are a little more tainted.

Ice rules the grounds on which we bond over..
They are extremely bad influences & pretty unpleasant individuals when they are caught up in that shit.
I have let myself come far too closely attached to this chemical lifestyle this time around..

The other day I nearly died in a car accident, because the driver (mate A) fell asleep behind the wheel.
Later that night i was dumb enough to step in the car with mate B and he thought it was funny to drift his shitty little car through the rain, despite the fact he almost lost 3 friends in an accident just hours prior..
They have lost most moral decency now.. It's not uncommon for them to abuse each other or abuse me now.

The shadiness has gone too far.
Every day they are involving themselves, and now me, with dangerous people and very dangerous situations,
I can't just sit around and wait for something bad to happen and get dragged down the wormhole..

I have deep bonds with these guys.. Its hard to just cut them out of my life,
but this morning i nearly removed them from social media and from my phone..
I hesitated because i got confused.. I dont know what to do 8(
I know what the smartest option will be, but im too much of a pussy to do it.

Has anybody here had to sever friendships with some of their best friends in order to escape a life of serious addiction & crime..??

 

[Burnt Offerings]

Has anybody here had to sever friendships with some of their best friends in order to escape a life of serious addiction & crime..??

Yes. In fact I believe that the majority of people who decide that a life of drug addiction is not for them have to do this, at one point or another. It's difficult and sad because I see good in most people, even those I dislike, and obviously I see a lot of good aspects in people who I choose to associate myself with & become friends with...so it's hard to break off relations. But it's necessary sometimes for your own development.

What I'd recommend doing is to tell these people that you're not interested in a life of drug abuse anymore, that you're tired of all the bullshit and actually want to do something good with your life, and that you don't want to associate yourself with them anymore if they're going to bring drugs around you. If they're truly your friends, they'll accept that.

 

[Yatertron]

You need to take look after and take care of yourself first. If this means letting go of toxic friendships. You can try talking to them about their behavior and what bothers you, but if they won't listen then that leaves you with few options.

Friendship is a partnership and their should be trust, respect and support. A truly good friend should would put your best interests before their own and have your back in the good times and the bad.

Sometimes letting a friend go can be good both parties. I had to do this with a close friend because we'd enable each other and we never spent a day together sober for ten years. Eight years later we reconnected, both clean, sober and reconnected with our faith. So the time apart helped helped us grow and better ourselves.

 

[Seimboz]

I agree with these people. Although they might night entirely be up to hear it because of the drugs though.

It's obviously going to be tough to let go of friends that you're close to and if you're a good as friend to them maybe losing you would be the start of a wake up call.

This has happened to me but instead of us doing drugs together it was me and two other people scamming people and ripping people off for money for the drugs.

At the end of the day you have to look out for what's best for you. It may seem selfish to them but that's how life is.

 

[Moreaux]

It's hard but it is necessary to remove toxic people from your life. I did it when I got sober, but I let my friends know why and told them if they ever decided to clean up their lives to look me up. If you continue to associate with these people you will inadvertently get caught up in their drama, or you could get seriously injured or killed from what you have described. Remove their numbers from you contacts and block those numbers so you don't receive messages or calls. Block them on social media. You have to look out for yourself first. Good luck and stay strong!

 

[szuko000]

I am lucky in the fact that I switch my group of friends each time my life changes. I no longer talk to people i knew in high school, same with college, same with old drinking buddies, and even the guys i would do dope with. I jokingly say my life is like a submarine or a space ship where when one compartment becomes corrupt i can just eject it from the main part and watch it drift off knowing that it needed to be done to save the ship. But I dont view anything in life as permanent so I never had a problem leaving it behind, i also say "i burn the past where it lies, i dont look back in nostalgia i move in front of burning fields and bridges"

That being said i do sometimes look up people knew see them still getting petty charges and know i made the right call. I never told them this was going to disappear and i even try to keep the intent to keep people around but life is a constant changing thing to allow yourself to get stuck is to allow it to never evolve. I say you dont really owe them any explanation other then "you are trying to focus on yourself for now"

This is a very important thing to do in life, sometimes you need to leave people behind, jobs, loved ones, it all has varying degrees of difficulty but you never go anywhere by keeping the routine and comfort from it you have come to enjoy. Eventually you will get new friends it may be a while but you can search for quality that is bound by things greater then drugs.

Life is about you and no one else. The right calls can be some of the hardest.

 

[BlueMerlin]

If you really feel these people bring you down then drop them, even if it's hard, even if it means you'll lose other people as well, even if you need to change your lifestyle, if they are toxic then fuck 'em, seriously, no matter what past you had, think about what feels right for you, make a choice and act like it.

I had to do the same 10 years ago, just stop hanging out, make lame excuses, they'll get the message eventually, and if that'll anger them just make better excuses, once in a while you'll walk into them, but just keep it to small talk and go on with your life, find friends that you feel good with.

 

[Burnt Offerings]

I am lucky in the fact that I switch my group of friends each time my life changes. I no longer talk to people i knew in high school, same with college, same with old drinking buddies, and even the guys i would do dope with. I jokingly say my life is like a submarine or a space ship where when one compartment becomes corrupt i can just eject it from the main part and watch it drift off knowing that it needed to be done to save the ship. But I dont view anything in life as permanent so I never had a problem leaving it behind, i also say "i burn the past where it lies, i dont look back in nostalgia i move in front of burning fields and bridges"

That being said i do sometimes look up people knew see them still getting petty charges and know i made the right call. I never told them this was going to disappear and i even try to keep the intent to keep people around but life is a constant changing thing to allow yourself to get stuck is to allow it to never evolve. I say you dont really owe them any explanation other then "you are trying to focus on yourself for now"

This is a very important thing to do in life, sometimes you need to leave people behind, jobs, loved ones, it all has varying degrees of difficulty but you never go anywhere by keeping the routine and comfort from it you have come to enjoy. Eventually you will get new friends it may be a while but you can search for quality that is bound by things greater then drugs.

Life is about you and no one else. The right calls can be some of the hardest.

This is getting somewhat off-topic, as this is more of a general question/topic that doesn't necessarily have to do with drugs, but don't you find long-term friends/relationships to be satisfying?

My two best friends are people I've known since we were 6 or 7 years old and they know me better than probably anyone else, except for my parents. We don't see each other much anymore but whenever we do it's like we never lost contact. It's great to have people like that in your life IMO.

 

[herbavore]

You need to leave them behind....for now. Who knows what the future will bring? Maybe you taking care of yourself and working your way out of this will be the catalyst for others. Good luck, trip. Their is a certain amount of grief in losing old friends even because of circumstances so be prepared for it.

 

[deadendgame]

honestly, i would give them a chance to turn their lives around. my friend gave me a chance and i'm slowing improving. if you give them a chance, who knows? maybe they'll completely turn their lives around and be the person you want them to be. on the other hand, if they're not willing to make a change, i would ditch them too.

 

[szuko000]

This is getting somewhat off-topic, as this is more of a general question/topic that doesn't necessarily have to do with drugs, but don't you find long-term friends/relationships to be satisfying?

My two best friends are people I've known since we were 6 or 7 years old and they know me better than probably anyone else, except for my parents. We don't see each other much anymore but whenever we do it's like we never lost contact. It's great to have people like that in your life IMO.

To be honest it doesn't bother me in the slightest, I usually end up with someone to chill with some of the time. It only bothers me when I would like to do things that people customarily bring groups of others to. So for example first 3 day camping festival I went to ever I went alone, no one to go with it... It was amazing lol. But otherwise no it doesn't bother me at all largely because of instant communication. To be honest the one long term friend I have moved to Florida like 7 years ago and I just went down to visit him in April and that was the first time we saw each other in 5+ years.

I have since lost all of my old friends as they stopped contacting me for 4 years while I was shooting dope and they all developed into sports watching, beer drinking, hunting "red necks" since I last really talked to them in 2011... basically we have no common interests anymore and I don't see the point in bridging gaps.

I have always been somewhat of a loner and never kept a social circle for long. Middle school different then high school different then college etc so I know everyone and no one at the same time. I consider myself amazing and get validation in other ways... honestly the only person I know I won't stop talking to is my ex. We discovered opiates got into IV dope and got clean then decided to stay friends so we can explore the world post addict (clean for almost 2 years) she's my war buddy and that whole crazy IV heroin life made us close like we were in the trenches together. That is one thing I can't forget.

In short nope doesn't bother me in the slightest. Sorry for going off topic never thought what I did was odd it's just how I've always been.

 

[Burnt Offerings]

^ Fair enough.

 

[manboychef]

Leave them behind, but leave the lines of communication open in case they get their shit together. Do not try to get them sober because they will have you relapsing faster than you can help them.

recovery can be selfish, and in the end you have to do what makes your life better.

 

[Muzda Jonxx]

This was something I wrestled hard with many moons ago when I had little choice but to eject myself from that lifestyle. To be fair, the lifestyle (my dang poppy addiction) followed me when I stopped seeing my good druggy friends. The difference was that there was no longer any 'enablers' in my life, other than my good self. Therefore, my hidden poppy problem (which I can hide perfectly well from the world when the pods are plentiful) became really seedy to me (no pun intended). I felt low compared to the other, clean friends and family that were left in my life.

Drug people aren't necessarily bad people. But if you want out of that lifestyle, I think you've got no choice but to leave it all behind. If I visit my old coke-dealer mates, I know how the night is going to end up going. I even have to avoid the section of the supermarket where I know the poppy seeds are these days! :D