leave that alone, or proceed with caution?

[mebalzitch]

I am in a strange spot here, and not sure how to proceed. I am in the process of working through a divorce after being with the same woman most of my adult life (almost 20 yrs together). I am also a new resident of a small community, population 4500, with 4000 being male. Not many prospects for a single man. Especially a rough dog like myself.
Still, I have met someone, just a friend, but a mutual attraction is there, the chemistry is palpable. We have talked about this, but have decided to play the friend role for a while. Of course, the more you let that chemistry simmer, the more it wants to boil over.
Now this last week, there was some devastating news. Apparently her past is catching up with her. She was diagnosed with HEP C. She is dumbstruck, and for some reason, i never felt closer to her.
WTF?

 

[Jblazingphoenix100]

Approach with a ten foot barge pole.

Look- if you're friends, just be there for her, and be careful about how.

 

[GenericMind]

Are you willing to be with someone with Hep C?

 

[mebalzitch]

I know, right? Seems like a no brainer, deal breaker, game over. Point, set , match. And still I am asking the question.

 

[kytnism]

for what reasons do you feel closer?

and have you had yourself tested, for safety precautions?

...kytnism...

 

[lola]

Can everyone calm down for a sec. Hep C is rarely sexually transmitted as it is mainly transferred by BLOOD. Hep B is the sexually transmitted one.

Wikipedia:
Sexual activities and practices were initially identified as potential sources of exposure to the hepatitis C virus. More recent studies question this route of transmission.[17] Currently, heterosexual vaginal intercourse is thought to be a rare means of transmission of hepatitis C infection. The following are the currently known modes of transmission. There may be other, as yet unknown, means of transmission.
Injection drug use
Blood products
Iatrogenic medical or dental exposure
Blood exposure
Body piercings and tattoos
Shared personal care items that can be contaminated with blood (e.g. razors)
Vertical (mother-to-child)

* HCV is not spread through casual contact, such as hugging, kissing, or sharing eating or cooking utensils.[31]

* Sexual transmission of HCV is considered to be rare. Studies show the risk of sexual transmission in heterosexual, monogamous relationships is extremely rare or even nil.[24][25] The CDC doesn't recommend the use of condoms between long-term monogamous discordant couples (where one partner is positive and the other is negative).[26] Vaginal penetrative sex is believed to have a lower risk of transmission than sexual practices that involve higher levels of trauma to anogenital mucosa (anal penetrative sex, fisting, or use of sex toys).[27]

So by her past catching up on her... I'm assuming she's an ex-junky? In which case, the main questions to ask yourself is how likely she is to relapse and whether there are many mental/emotional scars. Yes you can live with an Hep C + positive partner and never catch it. Use protection during sex if you're that worried.

 

[lola]

... plus, it's not a death sentence: 50-80% of people with hep c are cured using standard medical procedures, the rest may need a liver transplant - so yes, you'd need to be there for her and be supportive, but it isn't exactly like dating someone with terminal cancer.

 

[mebalzitch]

Sexual activities and practices were initially identified as potential sources of exposure to the hepatitis C virus. More recent studies question this route of transmission.[17] Currently, heterosexual vaginal intercourse is thought to be a rare means of transmission of hepatitis C infection. - lola

I had read this, and i guess that is part of what kept the door open in my mind, even though it seems like holding your head in the lions mouth.

So by her past catching up on her... I'm assuming she's an ex-junky? In which case, the main questions to ask yourself is how likely she is to relapse and whether there are many mental/emotional scars. - lola

i guess my answer here is that I am not exactly issue free myself...

 

[Lysis]

I was taught by my professors that there is a low chance for Hep C contraction through sex. The chance is there, but it's low.

I guess it's all about your preferences and what you are willing to deal with. Like you said, you're not exactly issue-free, so maybe you're more willing to deal with it. For me, an STD is out of the question, but for some dumb reason, I'll deal with a dude's emo problems a lot better. I think it's because I've been through some shit, so that compassion spark kicks in when it really shouldn't.

I think the bottom line is that there is a chance(although rare), so are you willing to contract Hep C for this person? That's a really tough one, and I think it all comes down to you and nothing we say here is really relevant. We all have our own threshold on what we are willing to deal with.

 

[lola]

I really think that if they are willing to use condoms, don't indulge in knife/blood play, he doesn't give her oral during her period and they don't share razors or toothbrushes the chances are vanishingly small. Just sayin...

 

[mebalzitch]

You know, think i will keep thing where they are. there is enough unhealthy baggage here (from both parties) to make it ill- advised, and that is before the thread topic even comes into play. i think maybe i have some healing to do, some time to put in to solitary, and this is a bitter, ugly reminder. kinda sucks.