The sun is long gone down by now. It's a race to see if I can hold up until it comes back. I never win the race. I either give in and go to sleep, or I face the darkest parts of my mind. Sometimes it's like masturbation to see if I can overcome it, but I never do.
Everything slips quickly upwards and rockets past my vision. I grasp onto the desk in front of me and it slips from my fingers. I fall into the nothingness again.
My own personal cave, problem is once you hit the bottom, you have little chance getting out without at least one scar. Everynight I let myself think, I fall.
Tonight is no different
Through and between me the visions spiral. Visions of a lost person. A lost life that I knew oh so long ago. The devil walks into the cave and motions to me again with his finger, ordering me to come to him. I refuse.
He grins, like he always does.
I move to him unwantingly and he embraces me and cries a tear for me. Satan's hand pets my tense face like a mother to a child. He brushes back my hair and kisses me once on the forehead.
His lips press firmer and firmer into my forehead until they enter my skull.
He cries even harder, full of deep emotion and he swells at the seems and is more real than anything else I've ever felt. He starts to suck, his lips inside my head. My brain stays where it is.
He is taking my soul, just like he does everytime I come down here.
I am so tired of this. It's repetative and non-constructive. I do not want this, but he moves me when I do not move on my own (figure of speech). He pulls and pushes me forward to him when I resist his workings.
Satan, not in the biblical sense.
Satan as a reresentation of the most *real* times I've had throughout my life. I search desperatly (but not obviously), for love. I know that when I do find true love (have I?) that it will disprove all that has been shown by the darkness.
Empty is as empty does... nothing.
... and fuck nothingness.
Pyro
(PS: added line is the last one. it was necessary)
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Frequency. Music. Sound. Imagination. Reality. Worlds. Hope. Love. Communication. Common Sense. Community.
[This message has been edited by Pyro (edited 22 June 2000).]
Everything slips quickly upwards and rockets past my vision. I grasp onto the desk in front of me and it slips from my fingers. I fall into the nothingness again.
My own personal cave, problem is once you hit the bottom, you have little chance getting out without at least one scar. Everynight I let myself think, I fall.
Tonight is no different
Through and between me the visions spiral. Visions of a lost person. A lost life that I knew oh so long ago. The devil walks into the cave and motions to me again with his finger, ordering me to come to him. I refuse.
He grins, like he always does.
I move to him unwantingly and he embraces me and cries a tear for me. Satan's hand pets my tense face like a mother to a child. He brushes back my hair and kisses me once on the forehead.
His lips press firmer and firmer into my forehead until they enter my skull.
He cries even harder, full of deep emotion and he swells at the seems and is more real than anything else I've ever felt. He starts to suck, his lips inside my head. My brain stays where it is.
He is taking my soul, just like he does everytime I come down here.
I am so tired of this. It's repetative and non-constructive. I do not want this, but he moves me when I do not move on my own (figure of speech). He pulls and pushes me forward to him when I resist his workings.
Satan, not in the biblical sense.
Satan as a reresentation of the most *real* times I've had throughout my life. I search desperatly (but not obviously), for love. I know that when I do find true love (have I?) that it will disprove all that has been shown by the darkness.
Empty is as empty does... nothing.
... and fuck nothingness.
Pyro
(PS: added line is the last one. it was necessary)
------------------
--------
Frequency. Music. Sound. Imagination. Reality. Worlds. Hope. Love. Communication. Common Sense. Community.
[This message has been edited by Pyro (edited 22 June 2000).]