podsnomo
Bluelighter
pnm,
I really, really appreciate you taking the time to respond to my, and everyone else's comments. It has helped me a lot, and I'm glad to know I have your support and also that you're going through something very similar to me.
With that being said, I unfortunately also have to say that today has probably been the worst day so far. Again, it's the depression and anxiety that have been unbearable. I also just realized that it is only the 6th day since I have significantly reduced my daily doses (probably by too much). This is both comforting and worrying for me. It worries me because, well fuck, it’s only day 6. It feels like it has been forever, and I was hoping that the symptoms would be lessening. On the other hand, the majority of kratom withdrawal stories I’ve read have said that days 7-14 can actually be the worst. This makes sense to me because it's been almost a week since I dropped from using 10-20g (of powder) a day down to 4g, and am now at 3g. I think I might hover around this level for a while because I think I have a few days of shit coming up. Hopefully by mid-end of this week I'll be feeling okay again and ready to decrease my dosage.
Good luck pnm, slayer, beatit and andy with your tapering/kicking (and anyone else too) and I'll be checking back here frequently! By the way, if anyone has found out some strategies for dealing with the withdrawal please share. I've found valerian root and camomile help for sleeping, and exercise (lifting weights for me) makes me feel better for a few hours afterwards.
The good news is that if today is the worst day so far, it is likely to be the worst day of all, meaning it will continue to get better. I think you're right on with staying at that dose until it evens out a bit. Have you tried splitting it into 2 doses. Like instead of 3 grams a day, 4g/day in 2 doses of 2, then taper from there. I ask b/c the effects of kratom are short lived.
Anyway, I did what you did with the pods, during my taper on one of my drops I totally overdid it, but it got better after a few days, and looking back I am glad I did that. It seemed to make the rest of the steadier taper easier, and then jumping to no pods and kratom for staving symptoms was not as bad as I though it would be. The thing to remember, as hard as it is sometimes, that this shitty feeling is TEMPORARY. It will get better, little by little. You are fighting the good fight, and you are worth it.
Try this, take a sheet of paper and write on it in huge letters something like this, "You are a wonderful person. You are doing something extraordinary. You are worth it. Keep calm, keep going, keep fighting." Place it somewhere you will see it often.
The fact that you are working out is effing HUGE. Part of kratom WD and opiate WD is the fatigue oddly mixed with anxiety and depression. Weghtlifting is great for reducing that anxiety, lifting good energy, helping you sleep, and getting your brain to squirt out some more endorphins, which it got used to doing less of while you were using the kratom more heavily.
I'm going to join a gym, but for now, when I get squirmy anxiety feeling welling up, I just drop and do as many push ups as I can. When it comes back, I do it again. I'm going to add cardio soon, and I think you might be at the point that this would be a good idea too. Weights are great, but for anxiety and sleeping better, adding 15-20 minutes of cardio to that workout will help tons. Also, you should be eating healthy, taking vitamins, magnesium and potassium esp, or get the potassium from a a banana or three a day. You should be masturbating or having sex at every opportunity too to help with the brain making more of its own good stuff again.
Behavioral things help too. Do something creative. Anything. Write a poem, even a lousy one. Who the fuck cares if it's good or not. You will have created something. No one ever needs to read it. Go outside, take pictures of nature or whatever interests you, esp if you have a decent camera. Watch something that makes you laugh. I used to think Jackass was retarded but I watched #2 and laughed, and it helped. When in the worst funk, forcing yourself to do some housework is great. Do a load of laundry, clean your kitchen, if you can keep going and clean it all, or break it up over days. A clean living space helps engender a clean mental space.
Major props to you on continuing your path to freedom. I'm with you all the way.
Peace, love, and applause,
pnm