King-Anubis
Bluelighter
Hey,
So I decided to finally try Kratom tea, in place of my normal codiene dose. Instead of proper tea, however, I thought it would be good to mix it hot chocolate to appeal to my sweet tooth, and also cover up the apparently horrible taste.
'Recipe':
2g Kratom Powder (Fairly high dose for me, I'm very sensitive to most drugs)
2 Teaspoons Cocoa Powder
2 Teaspoons 'Instant Hot Chocolate' Powder
2 Teaspoons Dried Skimmed Milk
How did it taste? Not too bad. I could probably sit down with a cup and slowly drink it as the taste is very easy to get used to. It's sort of like orangy chocolate with a tea-ish under taste. Ultimatly it's hard to describe, you'll have to try it for yourself!
Background: Previous experience with small (250-500mg) doses of Kratom - swallowed in capsules. Normally feels like a high dose of caffeine - very speedy and mania-inducing.
T +0:00: Drunk half the tea - I haven't eaten for six hours so I'm expecting the first symptoms to come on quick.
T +0:02: Feeling nauseous.
T +0:06: My eyes are going crazy. I'm try to write a essay while using reference material and I can hardly stop my eyes jolting back and fourth between the two involuntarily.
T +0:07: I feel very very speedy, and very anxious. I start to space out.
T +0:08: Extreme anxiety gets the best of me, my reaction is something along the line of "Woah, this is too quick!" - I turn off my music and after a few seconds get up and decide to take a brief walk down my street in the cold.
T +0:10: Return feeling much more relaxed. Sit down at my computer again and turn on some industrial music. Speedy feeling still remain, but I'm much more at ease with it.
T +0:15: Slight chest pain and all my joints ache. Slight trembles. Mentally I feel hazy, but otherwise fine. By now I have zero anxiety. I record my pulse as 77 BPM with a higher-then-normal blood pressure. Otherwise fine physically.
T +0:16: Notice some time dilation - switching between speeding up and slowing down. This may not be the drug itself as I get time dilation on almost all recreational drugs - probably more my mind. At the time of taking the tea I'm in the middle of a mild derealization episode.
T +0:16: Drink another mouthful of tea.
T +0:20: World starts to feel cold. I begin to feel as if I'm watching the world on a tv - music sounds tinny and colours dull. Time dilation continues, although it's pretty much only a sense of slowing down now.
T +0:24: I 'return' to the world. Joints seriously ache. Mind feels cloudy, but I'm otherwise relaxed. I take another sip of the tea.
T +0:27: Record pulse and blood pressure. Pulse remains steady by BP is starting to cross into 'dangerously high' territory.
T +0:29: A minute feels like an hour. Typing is extremely fast, eyes frequently working quicker then my brain can process. Back of knees hurt like hell and all sound is bordering on annoying.
T +0:30: Get another wave of derealization. World goes cold and I feel detached. Despite all this I'm relaxed. Feels like a bizarre opiate trip.
T +0:35: Still feeling somewhat detached from reality, but otherwise calm and mellow.
T +0:38: Again I'm suddenly pulled back to reality. Colours are bright and music sounds great. I check my pupils to see if anything has changed and see that they're slightly dilated and not responding to stimuli.
T +0:41: Feeling very relaxed. Mild time dilation is still present. Aches and pains have gone and I'm left with a pervasive sense of well being. Decide to just sit back and listen to music.
T +0:45: The last song on the album finishes and I'm grabbed by the silence. It feels unbelievably amazing. It's just total and utter silence. Theres no thoughts racing through my head, no white noise, no auditory hallucinations, no worries, no pain - just pure silence. Something which I haven't heard for years. I sit back and relax in silence, feeling very warm and slightly euphoric. I generally feel like all is well with the world and that my life isn't over yet.
T +0:50: My bliss is briefly interrupted by the realisation that my vision is slightly blurred and distorted. Objects seems to be 'flowing' slightly. I'm slightly confused at first but otherwise fine - it's something I've experienced before so I'm more then comfortable with it's presence. It's generally only new phenomena that cause me to become anxious.
T +0:52: Smiling broadly. The silence is wonderful.
T +0:53: Start to notice the sound of static returning - I can hear my pulse and background sounds, such as cars, are staring to become more prominent. Whole body experiences a hot flush. Blood pressure has dropped to normal, healthy levels. Pulse is stable.
T +0:55: Turn some mellow music (Yann Tiersen!) on to cover up my thoughts again. Music sounds echoey, but otherwise vivid. Can 'hear' every note - each second feels like it's been slowed down - a minute feels like five. Music is playing in 'slow motion', yet at the same time speedy. Pupils are now slightly constricted, and again they're not responding to stimuli.
T +1:05: Effects pretty much stabilise as the following: Mild time dilation (slow), enhanced music, mild visual distortion, eyes slow to focus, slowed mind, constricted pupils, warm feeling throughout, no aches or pain, moderate temperature and, finally, a slight sense of pleasant derealisation. I head to bed a few hours later and fall asleep with the aid of tranquillisers, Wake up the next day with no noticeable hangover, besides a general sense of well being.
Overall the trip was very bizarre. As people have said, Kratom is a paradoxical mix of sedation and stimulation. Either way, it was very, very pleasant. The silence in particular was, for me, like experiencing heaven for a brief moment. I didn't realise until that moment just how 'busy' my mind is all the time. It's the feeling I've been looking for for years, and it was so much better then I had ever hoped.
The entire trip has had a somewhat profound impact on me. To feel that brief moment of silence has made me realise that perhaps there is hope that one day I might be 'cured' of my mental problems. Soon after I reevaluated where I was going in life and decided to stop myself falling into opiate addiction. Before the trip my codeine usage had increased to 210mg every 4 hours just to get by, and I made plans to switch over to morphine and buy heroin - all to try and escape my pain. Since the trip I've discarded all of my codeine, rejected a heroin deal and decided to save the morphine for 'darker days' - and so it's been placed in my 'anti-sucide' box, along with other drugs, not to be used recreationally - only to save me from the worst.
Three days on I'm far, far happier then I was before. I no longer see opiates as a way out, and am currently making my way through mild opiate withdrawal (I feel like I have flu!) and combating the intense desire to use the morphine I brought. For the first time in years I'm looking up and actually feel very happy with my life, and where I'm going. I've planned days out, and have decided to 'get out there' and do something about my life.
Besides that, I plan to use Kratom again in a couple of days, and perhaps make it a weekly/fortnightly thing. Certainly my favourite drug by far.
So I decided to finally try Kratom tea, in place of my normal codiene dose. Instead of proper tea, however, I thought it would be good to mix it hot chocolate to appeal to my sweet tooth, and also cover up the apparently horrible taste.
'Recipe':
2g Kratom Powder (Fairly high dose for me, I'm very sensitive to most drugs)
2 Teaspoons Cocoa Powder
2 Teaspoons 'Instant Hot Chocolate' Powder
2 Teaspoons Dried Skimmed Milk
How did it taste? Not too bad. I could probably sit down with a cup and slowly drink it as the taste is very easy to get used to. It's sort of like orangy chocolate with a tea-ish under taste. Ultimatly it's hard to describe, you'll have to try it for yourself!
Background: Previous experience with small (250-500mg) doses of Kratom - swallowed in capsules. Normally feels like a high dose of caffeine - very speedy and mania-inducing.
T +0:00: Drunk half the tea - I haven't eaten for six hours so I'm expecting the first symptoms to come on quick.
T +0:02: Feeling nauseous.
T +0:06: My eyes are going crazy. I'm try to write a essay while using reference material and I can hardly stop my eyes jolting back and fourth between the two involuntarily.
T +0:07: I feel very very speedy, and very anxious. I start to space out.
T +0:08: Extreme anxiety gets the best of me, my reaction is something along the line of "Woah, this is too quick!" - I turn off my music and after a few seconds get up and decide to take a brief walk down my street in the cold.
T +0:10: Return feeling much more relaxed. Sit down at my computer again and turn on some industrial music. Speedy feeling still remain, but I'm much more at ease with it.
T +0:15: Slight chest pain and all my joints ache. Slight trembles. Mentally I feel hazy, but otherwise fine. By now I have zero anxiety. I record my pulse as 77 BPM with a higher-then-normal blood pressure. Otherwise fine physically.
T +0:16: Notice some time dilation - switching between speeding up and slowing down. This may not be the drug itself as I get time dilation on almost all recreational drugs - probably more my mind. At the time of taking the tea I'm in the middle of a mild derealization episode.
T +0:16: Drink another mouthful of tea.
T +0:20: World starts to feel cold. I begin to feel as if I'm watching the world on a tv - music sounds tinny and colours dull. Time dilation continues, although it's pretty much only a sense of slowing down now.
T +0:24: I 'return' to the world. Joints seriously ache. Mind feels cloudy, but I'm otherwise relaxed. I take another sip of the tea.
T +0:27: Record pulse and blood pressure. Pulse remains steady by BP is starting to cross into 'dangerously high' territory.
T +0:29: A minute feels like an hour. Typing is extremely fast, eyes frequently working quicker then my brain can process. Back of knees hurt like hell and all sound is bordering on annoying.
T +0:30: Get another wave of derealization. World goes cold and I feel detached. Despite all this I'm relaxed. Feels like a bizarre opiate trip.
T +0:35: Still feeling somewhat detached from reality, but otherwise calm and mellow.
T +0:38: Again I'm suddenly pulled back to reality. Colours are bright and music sounds great. I check my pupils to see if anything has changed and see that they're slightly dilated and not responding to stimuli.
T +0:41: Feeling very relaxed. Mild time dilation is still present. Aches and pains have gone and I'm left with a pervasive sense of well being. Decide to just sit back and listen to music.
T +0:45: The last song on the album finishes and I'm grabbed by the silence. It feels unbelievably amazing. It's just total and utter silence. Theres no thoughts racing through my head, no white noise, no auditory hallucinations, no worries, no pain - just pure silence. Something which I haven't heard for years. I sit back and relax in silence, feeling very warm and slightly euphoric. I generally feel like all is well with the world and that my life isn't over yet.
T +0:50: My bliss is briefly interrupted by the realisation that my vision is slightly blurred and distorted. Objects seems to be 'flowing' slightly. I'm slightly confused at first but otherwise fine - it's something I've experienced before so I'm more then comfortable with it's presence. It's generally only new phenomena that cause me to become anxious.
T +0:52: Smiling broadly. The silence is wonderful.
T +0:53: Start to notice the sound of static returning - I can hear my pulse and background sounds, such as cars, are staring to become more prominent. Whole body experiences a hot flush. Blood pressure has dropped to normal, healthy levels. Pulse is stable.
T +0:55: Turn some mellow music (Yann Tiersen!) on to cover up my thoughts again. Music sounds echoey, but otherwise vivid. Can 'hear' every note - each second feels like it's been slowed down - a minute feels like five. Music is playing in 'slow motion', yet at the same time speedy. Pupils are now slightly constricted, and again they're not responding to stimuli.
T +1:05: Effects pretty much stabilise as the following: Mild time dilation (slow), enhanced music, mild visual distortion, eyes slow to focus, slowed mind, constricted pupils, warm feeling throughout, no aches or pain, moderate temperature and, finally, a slight sense of pleasant derealisation. I head to bed a few hours later and fall asleep with the aid of tranquillisers, Wake up the next day with no noticeable hangover, besides a general sense of well being.
Overall the trip was very bizarre. As people have said, Kratom is a paradoxical mix of sedation and stimulation. Either way, it was very, very pleasant. The silence in particular was, for me, like experiencing heaven for a brief moment. I didn't realise until that moment just how 'busy' my mind is all the time. It's the feeling I've been looking for for years, and it was so much better then I had ever hoped.
The entire trip has had a somewhat profound impact on me. To feel that brief moment of silence has made me realise that perhaps there is hope that one day I might be 'cured' of my mental problems. Soon after I reevaluated where I was going in life and decided to stop myself falling into opiate addiction. Before the trip my codeine usage had increased to 210mg every 4 hours just to get by, and I made plans to switch over to morphine and buy heroin - all to try and escape my pain. Since the trip I've discarded all of my codeine, rejected a heroin deal and decided to save the morphine for 'darker days' - and so it's been placed in my 'anti-sucide' box, along with other drugs, not to be used recreationally - only to save me from the worst.
Three days on I'm far, far happier then I was before. I no longer see opiates as a way out, and am currently making my way through mild opiate withdrawal (I feel like I have flu!) and combating the intense desire to use the morphine I brought. For the first time in years I'm looking up and actually feel very happy with my life, and where I'm going. I've planned days out, and have decided to 'get out there' and do something about my life.
Besides that, I plan to use Kratom again in a couple of days, and perhaps make it a weekly/fortnightly thing. Certainly my favourite drug by far.
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