.....my son is in bed....i put my foot down, kids dad moaned at me for the fact that he had stopped till today to prevent my son from trying to have a sickie.....but i meant trying to have the day odd without having been sick.....he's been sick.....that's the end of it....
so we chat amicably about stuff.....i read out a few comments from threads on here that i've found helpful, i think he is seeing the benefits of me being on BL.....it's like it's very own N.A. and especially convenient for the purposes of...yes warts-on-cunt.....a REAL LIFE aggrophobic.....not just somebody who decides to use that word to apply to themselves as they like the sound of it.....fucking fat bitch
no i have nothing against people who are overweight....i've been massively overweight myself....and massively underweight and all in-between....i know the pain of being fat and feeling completely at a loss to do anything about it and caught in that vicious circle of comfort eating for being so disgusted with yourself....YES I HAVE DONE THAT AT AGE 14.....and lost the weight after a drug induced psychosis that had me sectionned and hospitalised in a locked ward of a psychiatric hospital at age 17.....when i got better and got out i lost weight.....but then through my teens my weight has gone up and down like a fucking yo-yo and i don't think i have ever in my life had a proper healthy diet since being a kid as i've had issues with food....i've been fat, obese, annorexic, bullimic, currently i just don't eat as i feel at a loss to take care of myself....no-one wants to help....no health service does....even the fat therapist
fuck it
i'm sounding like a broken fucking record....i don't think i got enough sleep last night.....i feel edgy
took my modafinil and phenibut earlier, that stuff certainly helps me get through the day but i bet my doctor won't prrescribe me modafinil......i tried asking her before and she refused to i just buy it online but its not so easy to buy and i don't understand the whole bitcoin thing.....
kids dad was talking about his mate Scott who died from alchohol abuse, i met Scott when i lived up there....he seemed lovely, you know like when you meet someone and you get a feel for what they're like as a person and can tell that you like them?....that's how i felt with Scott....he was only a few years older than me....but i think he was my age now when he died....i think people are expecting or preparing themselves for me to die, i think my Mum is....i think the kids dad is a bit too....i think that's why he brought up Scott and that at Scott's funeral his estranged wife had to be literally held up through her grief of feeling she could have done more, she should never have thrown him out.....she'd never get over it or forgive herself.....he teared up at this....and for the kids dad that is MASSIVE....i have known him for 14 years.....he's seen me cry mountains of times....fuck me, i even cry watching fucking Titanic so its hardly a biggie....but nah....him??...i've seen him cry...properly cry ONCE......so seeing him tear up like today i guess we'd call that a half?....so in 14 years i've seen him cry, now, 1 and a half times.....counting today....that's also why i think he's preparing for my death....for bringing that up....he knows i'm gonna still do stupid impulsive shit...no matter the fact that today i WON'T.....even i can't say i won't EVER again as look at last week?....look at the week before...and the week before......hell i'm even now condidering scraping tobacco round those collection jars from last week so who am i kidding.
i have a fucking problem but i score 0 points
i shout CUNT to the nice people at my doctors surgery...0 points
i say 'HELP ME PLEASE!!! i have a problem and i don't want to die on my children!!'....still 0 points
i phone 111 and tell them i just smoked DMT and had a panic attack and seriously thought i was about to die and ruined my mothers dinner plans.....nope sorry zero points coz you didn't actually DIE...you have to actually DIE FIRST
FUCK ME OVER ON A FUCKING MONDAY MORNING
tell me why
i don't ;like mondays
tell me why
i don't like mondays
i wanna shoot-ooo-ooo-ooo-oo-ooot the whole day down
i mean seriously....if i were that inclined to do a barbra-ann spencer people would go....'oh silly us!!....there were the danger signs and we ignored them all!!'.....do i have to take a gun and shoot a bunch of innocent fucking people out of my fucking window on a monday and tell the police i just want to liven up a fucking monday......shit
yes.....that song....i don't like mondays.....about the first school shooting by barbra-ann spencer
no i would not shoot people....i cannot stand hurting people....but i sure as shit do by mouth if they have upset my fucking kids!!!!
but seriously.....i wouldn't....but if i did begin shooting people outside my window the entire mental health service would be over-turned and refurbished and kicked into shape as they'd all be scratching their heads and pointing the fucking finger at stupid fat cunt therapists like warts-on-cunt for turning me away
nope
zero points still
cause YOU GET ZERO FUCKING POINTS FOR MAKING SENSE IF YOU'RE STILL ALIVE AND HAVE NOT YET MASSACRED A BUNCH OF INNOCENT BYSTANDERS
ERREE BY GUMM
kum baye ahh my lord
so we chat amicably about stuff.....i read out a few comments from threads on here that i've found helpful, i think he is seeing the benefits of me being on BL.....it's like it's very own N.A. and especially convenient for the purposes of...yes warts-on-cunt.....a REAL LIFE aggrophobic.....not just somebody who decides to use that word to apply to themselves as they like the sound of it.....fucking fat bitch
no i have nothing against people who are overweight....i've been massively overweight myself....and massively underweight and all in-between....i know the pain of being fat and feeling completely at a loss to do anything about it and caught in that vicious circle of comfort eating for being so disgusted with yourself....YES I HAVE DONE THAT AT AGE 14.....and lost the weight after a drug induced psychosis that had me sectionned and hospitalised in a locked ward of a psychiatric hospital at age 17.....when i got better and got out i lost weight.....but then through my teens my weight has gone up and down like a fucking yo-yo and i don't think i have ever in my life had a proper healthy diet since being a kid as i've had issues with food....i've been fat, obese, annorexic, bullimic, currently i just don't eat as i feel at a loss to take care of myself....no-one wants to help....no health service does....even the fat therapist
fuck it
i'm sounding like a broken fucking record....i don't think i got enough sleep last night.....i feel edgy
took my modafinil and phenibut earlier, that stuff certainly helps me get through the day but i bet my doctor won't prrescribe me modafinil......i tried asking her before and she refused to i just buy it online but its not so easy to buy and i don't understand the whole bitcoin thing.....
kids dad was talking about his mate Scott who died from alchohol abuse, i met Scott when i lived up there....he seemed lovely, you know like when you meet someone and you get a feel for what they're like as a person and can tell that you like them?....that's how i felt with Scott....he was only a few years older than me....but i think he was my age now when he died....i think people are expecting or preparing themselves for me to die, i think my Mum is....i think the kids dad is a bit too....i think that's why he brought up Scott and that at Scott's funeral his estranged wife had to be literally held up through her grief of feeling she could have done more, she should never have thrown him out.....she'd never get over it or forgive herself.....he teared up at this....and for the kids dad that is MASSIVE....i have known him for 14 years.....he's seen me cry mountains of times....fuck me, i even cry watching fucking Titanic so its hardly a biggie....but nah....him??...i've seen him cry...properly cry ONCE......so seeing him tear up like today i guess we'd call that a half?....so in 14 years i've seen him cry, now, 1 and a half times.....counting today....that's also why i think he's preparing for my death....for bringing that up....he knows i'm gonna still do stupid impulsive shit...no matter the fact that today i WON'T.....even i can't say i won't EVER again as look at last week?....look at the week before...and the week before......hell i'm even now condidering scraping tobacco round those collection jars from last week so who am i kidding.
i have a fucking problem but i score 0 points
i shout CUNT to the nice people at my doctors surgery...0 points
i say 'HELP ME PLEASE!!! i have a problem and i don't want to die on my children!!'....still 0 points
i phone 111 and tell them i just smoked DMT and had a panic attack and seriously thought i was about to die and ruined my mothers dinner plans.....nope sorry zero points coz you didn't actually DIE...you have to actually DIE FIRST
FUCK ME OVER ON A FUCKING MONDAY MORNING
tell me why
i don't ;like mondays
tell me why
i don't like mondays
i wanna shoot-ooo-ooo-ooo-oo-ooot the whole day down
i mean seriously....if i were that inclined to do a barbra-ann spencer people would go....'oh silly us!!....there were the danger signs and we ignored them all!!'.....do i have to take a gun and shoot a bunch of innocent fucking people out of my fucking window on a monday and tell the police i just want to liven up a fucking monday......shit
yes.....that song....i don't like mondays.....about the first school shooting by barbra-ann spencer
no i would not shoot people....i cannot stand hurting people....but i sure as shit do by mouth if they have upset my fucking kids!!!!
but seriously.....i wouldn't....but if i did begin shooting people outside my window the entire mental health service would be over-turned and refurbished and kicked into shape as they'd all be scratching their heads and pointing the fucking finger at stupid fat cunt therapists like warts-on-cunt for turning me away
nope
zero points still
cause YOU GET ZERO FUCKING POINTS FOR MAKING SENSE IF YOU'RE STILL ALIVE AND HAVE NOT YET MASSACRED A BUNCH OF INNOCENT BYSTANDERS
ERREE BY GUMM
kum baye ahh my lord
