I really wish I could go barefoot here in San Fran, but there's glass all over the sidewalks. Every time I've tried, I've ended up pulling shards of glass out of my feet at the end of the day. As a result, I'm slowly losing my hobbit feet.
It's been 72 hours since my last dose. I slept nearly 6 hours last night (not solid). During one of the times I woke last night, I sucked the crumbs out of dozens of dime bags and cottons I had lying around. It provided some noticeable relief.
I'm taking a short break from opiates. I'm done for good with dosing multiple times per day and plan to go back to weekends only, and I'm trying to return my tolerance to that of a kindergartener. After all, I have to quit for good in about one month.
Overall, I think life is slightly better and more enjoyable while daily taking a steady stream of opiates or opioids, but I start work soon and can't be groggy or crabby at work. That and I'll be living on another continent and have been told that heroin isn't easy to find in my new home city.
Going to the bathroom is messy. My body is emitting lots of fluids. I ache all over, and my energy level is low. Overall, the feeling is like that of the flu or a bad cold. I feel like I'm at about 50%.
My biggest enemy for the next couple of days is passing time, and doing little things like blogging helps get my mind off it.
I go back to work in 2 months. I'll be able to work relatively independently, have some research money, and pursue my own ideas without a stream of people constantly interfering with me -- asking annoying questions, assigning me mindless busy work, etc.
At the same time, I'm really nervous about it because the particular disorder that I'll be studying is a new area of research for me, and I'll be expected to be up-to-speed and perform as an expert on my first day. I spend most of my spare time studying and reading research papers in the field. In addition to the difficulty of mastering a different field of knowledge is the fact that I've got to move overseas and be functional in a foreign language.
I have mixed feelings about starting over in a foreign country. For one thing, all of my stuff, my friends, and every thing I'm familiar with is here. On the other hand, this country has gone down the toilet, and I really don't like it here any more. To put it briefly, the politics, the socio-economic condition, the selfishness and total lack of empathy fo the populace; the greed, ignorance, and complete lack of empathy of those in power; and the culture, especially the anti-education leaning, just rub me the wrong way.
It's not that I expect Europe to be much better. It's more that I had such high hopes for my home country that the disappointment of seeing it for what it really is makes it worse. After all, I was one of those kids who stupidly believed my 5th grade social studies teacher when she said "America is number 1."
What isn't in storage or sold, I'll put in a shipping crate and send to myself by boat.
It's been 72 hours since my last dose. I slept nearly 6 hours last night (not solid). During one of the times I woke last night, I sucked the crumbs out of dozens of dime bags and cottons I had lying around. It provided some noticeable relief.
I'm taking a short break from opiates. I'm done for good with dosing multiple times per day and plan to go back to weekends only, and I'm trying to return my tolerance to that of a kindergartener. After all, I have to quit for good in about one month.
Overall, I think life is slightly better and more enjoyable while daily taking a steady stream of opiates or opioids, but I start work soon and can't be groggy or crabby at work. That and I'll be living on another continent and have been told that heroin isn't easy to find in my new home city.
Going to the bathroom is messy. My body is emitting lots of fluids. I ache all over, and my energy level is low. Overall, the feeling is like that of the flu or a bad cold. I feel like I'm at about 50%.
My biggest enemy for the next couple of days is passing time, and doing little things like blogging helps get my mind off it.
I go back to work in 2 months. I'll be able to work relatively independently, have some research money, and pursue my own ideas without a stream of people constantly interfering with me -- asking annoying questions, assigning me mindless busy work, etc.
At the same time, I'm really nervous about it because the particular disorder that I'll be studying is a new area of research for me, and I'll be expected to be up-to-speed and perform as an expert on my first day. I spend most of my spare time studying and reading research papers in the field. In addition to the difficulty of mastering a different field of knowledge is the fact that I've got to move overseas and be functional in a foreign language.
I have mixed feelings about starting over in a foreign country. For one thing, all of my stuff, my friends, and every thing I'm familiar with is here. On the other hand, this country has gone down the toilet, and I really don't like it here any more. To put it briefly, the politics, the socio-economic condition, the selfishness and total lack of empathy fo the populace; the greed, ignorance, and complete lack of empathy of those in power; and the culture, especially the anti-education leaning, just rub me the wrong way.
It's not that I expect Europe to be much better. It's more that I had such high hopes for my home country that the disappointment of seeing it for what it really is makes it worse. After all, I was one of those kids who stupidly believed my 5th grade social studies teacher when she said "America is number 1."
What isn't in storage or sold, I'll put in a shipping crate and send to myself by boat.