Kicking it with depression I need help!!

[lukiethekid]

I would like to tell you all a few things to see if y'all can help me out here I'm in sort of trouble with my depression and it might be from the drugs I've took. I was fifteen when his first high was acquired from a pill. This was the common drug in schools "adderall" I took this happy drug for 3 months straight starting with the 30mgs and sometimes popping two to three 30s in one day. I started getting accumulated to the drug. I loved the high I was getting each day, very happy about school loving life etc. I hence then turned sixteen and stopped taking adderall cold turkey, I had a strange feeling because I didn't have a withdraw without taking it. I'm now sixteen and I haven't been over a year since doing it. It now for some reason makes me feel like a zombie any explanation for this?

I also have taken suboxyne, percocets, and other prescription drugs. I have took those drugs in the past three months to catch his feelings again and start being happy. I went into the doctors not too long ago and they put me on a well known depressant drug "zoloft" starting at 25mgs I think and, I took it for two weeks and thought it wouldn't work so I quit taking it. I am still suffering from depression and feels as if there's nothing to be happy about. I'm always down in the dumps and not smiling/having a good time. I would love to start feeling better but doesn't know what I should do. I'm no addict and can go a week without a drug before giving up the battle with depression and falling into a prescription based drug. I miss the old days when just completing a task on adderall made him very happy I still don't even want to use that drug. I want help but I don't know where to start. I have a doctors appointment for tomorrow.

I also thinks it could be family, school, and a lot of other issues. I usually have had someone there for him close in age. I have a brother that just turned 18. I also had a friend living with us that was 22. I felt when they left; a huge depression wave going over and the feeling of being alone. I would love for anyones intake on what can help what can me share with a doctor or someone to get help with what's wrong.I just miss the bright side which rarely ever comes around anymore since it's only with drugs swim gets back on track. which I don't want to depend on drugs.

Please give me any input and open judgment is avaliable. I would love any answers that could deal with this feel free to ask swim questions as he needs to talk to someone before seeking help. I will greatly appreciate it and I want to be happy again, I also doesn't have a clue what can really be triggering the effects but would love to talk about any of it.

 

[T. Calderone]

Welcome to Bluelight, Lukiethekid. The use of swim is prohibited here so please edit your post. The Adderall high you had from abusing them last year could have contributed a bit to feeling depressed. Or any number of things like you said, family, friend leaving or school situation.

Many times it takes antidepressants several weeks to fully get their effects. Is the doctor you are seeing tomorrow the same one who prescribed them? It would benefit you to be honest and say that you stopped taking them because you didn't think they were helping. So they might help getting your "Brightside" back, just give it a chance.

 

[lukiethekid]

Alright thanks for the post what can I use besides *SNIP* " just use I and etc. ?" ~Yes. Hopefully I do see the same doctor as I did before I'm not quite sure. I am trying to cope right now and the fact that I had taken them two weeks made me regard the fact that they took a month to kick in, I really appreciate the post it means a lot to here feedback on my post. Do you know anything drug wise that I could talk to a doctor about prescribing I'm not saying anything strong in prescription I'm talking zoloft for depression and something for my anxiety like xanax 0.25s or something, anything that can help me cope?

 

[deltakappamu]

Have you thought of giving the zoloft another try? Medications such as that do take a while to build up in your system.. two weeks is not enough time for that medication to work.

I am sorry you are going through a hard time.

Sending positive vibes your way

 

[missmeyet?]

Lol, you did it again....don't use SWIM, just write as you would normally speak, using "I". Using SWIM does nothing to prevent self incrimination (everyone knows it is you).

You can talk to your doc about your anxiety, but it is doubtful they will give you a long term narcotic benzo like xanax for it, especially at your young age. You just want to be really careful...benzos withdrawal is no fun.

Also, you definitely need to give the anti depressant another shot and more time to work..let the doc know you stopped and just be honest with him...hopefully together you guys will find a solution so you can feel happy again without the illicit drug use.

 

[lukiethekid]

Thanks for that! I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to see if they'll put me back on it do you know anything drug wise that can help with anxiety I don't want anything really addictive I'm saying xanax 0.25 or something thats non narc that can help

 

[deltakappamu]

Well, xanax is a benzo, and is addictive. I know for me, even in small doses it sets me off. Because I need more.

Many practioners use SSRIs for anxiety. Unfortunately, the best anti anxiety drugs are benzos. However, non narcotics can work well when coupled with therapy or some other form of treatment. Good luck and keep us posted

 

[lukiethekid]

Alright will do and appreciate the input on that it means a lot for this guy!, I'll let you guys know what happens tomorrow too

 

[thedawn]

hi,and thank you for honoring the community by reaching out.
Depression is serious like cancer.if you feel more than "under the weather","missing GF",
"can't afford a new CD"…if you feel like death is closing in or that a dark cloud follows you,
PLEASE contact a doctor before you end up like many of us on BL.

I have depression and it ruined 20 years of my life.

the adderal you wrote about is just something you might want to rule completely out
until you know about your depression.
don't take any stimulants before you are in a better place.

I don't know,I'm just another addict living a minute at a time a lot of the time.
I wish you all the best and continue writing at BL.

 

[neversickanymore]

Hey lukie.. a warm welcome to Bluelight. Sorry you are having some things you need to deal with.. good to have you here and nice job at reaching out.

It now for some reason makes me feel like a zombie any explanation for this?

There are so many different types of zombies%) here on bluelight we will need a little more specific information to promote the best possible answers to this one. how does it effect you to feel like a zombi?

they put me on a well known depressant drug "zoloft" starting at 25mgs I think and, I took it for two weeks and thought it wouldn't work so I quit taking it.

What if anything did it do? and what mg were you taking and how often may help people give you stronger comment on this one.

I am still suffering from depression and feels as if there's nothing to be happy about.

when did the depression start for you?

Have you tried looking at your life and identifying or creating changes that may provide strong things to be happy about. What brings you joy now. what used to bring you happiness in the past? what has changed since then that may have brought this depression on?

Has this ever happened before. is your season the middle of winter right now?

One of the best antidepressant in the world is exercise.. thirty minutes of aerobic exercise can do wonders.. manipulates the same chemicals as the adderall or coke, but has positive effects and is balance to leave a clear head so as not to feal out of whack or like a zombi.. it actually can do wonders in clearing a person's head.
http://www.clairedorotik.com/NLWC-EXERCISE_AND_MOOD.htm

it is a powerful thing to keep our thoughts possitive and here are some threads many of us use to help us do this.
Good things about being off drugs/getting sober
Share something POSITIVE from your day!
Today I Am Thankful For... Ver. 3: Earth, Wind and Fire!

depression causes depressed thoughts and depressed thoughts cause depression. it can be a self serving process.. the most powerful weapon against almost all depression is realizing that our thought determine how we experience life and how we experience life determines how we feel. So in learning this and then controlling our thoughts we prevent or decrease depression.
Managing depressive thinking

I'm no addict and can go a week without a drug before giving up the battle with depression and falling into a prescription based drug.

i would be careful with this thought process as it seems you are thinking of physical dependence and not addiction. This is common thing for people to do. The most addictive drugs on the planet dont really carry much if any withdrawals and many people can go days, weeks, months before they have a relapse and have a strong desire to use as well as emotional pushes such as anxiety and depression among many others. I'm not saying you are an addict but it is important to to understand the difference as it could provide useful information and save you some troubles latter on.
Here is a thread that explores what addiction, physical dependence, the addiction cycle, and withdrawals are.. allot of good info here so i would give it a read
Addiction Guide
The Brain and Addiction (under construction)

do you think about doing the drugs a whole bunch right before you end up using them.. like day dream about getting and using them?

a huge depression wave going over and the feeling of being alone.

really good catch at a possible cause.. when we are faced with no longer being with some one who we love as much this can be relay hard. have you any idea hopw you could fill this spot that has been left.. not replace them of course but rather find someone or something that can fill some of what has changed with things other than drugs.. what do you like to do or what have you always wanted to do.. any old friends you haven't called in a while. any people you have always wanted to date?

Hey just some things to think about and explore. sorry to hit you with so many questions. dont want to make you uncomfortable so just share whatever you want. Maybe anything more specific about other sources of troubles.. like the work ets.

It sounds to me like you are in a decent transition with your brother and friend heading off.. so I would try and identify and create things that are going to make this new phase in life exciting and enjoyable. I dont know how you feel but as there seems to be some good areas you have thought of for the roots of this depression. I would absolutely add in the exercise and take a good look at how your thinking about things may be creating this depression. moods like this usually indicate that we need to change some foundation in our live to something that we need. Are you also lonely now that they are gone, this would be pretty natural I think and if this is the case I would think of way to meet people you would enjoy hanging around.

 

[neversickanymore]

Thought i posted to this thread and my post diapered.. seem we have another just like it in The dark side.. again welcome to bluelight we dont allow duplicate threads in multiple forums so im going to merge this and send it to TDS.. if you would rather have it here please PM me or any of the recovery staff and let them know. hope you are doing well and I look forward to seeing you around the boards.. oh and to avoid these little hassles take a gander at this when you get a chance.. Greenlighters Guide