I have a long history of Treatment Resistant Depression so I think I should stand a good chance at being approved as a candidate. I'd have to go through my journals to find the names of the medications that didnt work - but I tried at least five or six over several years, then combinations and ultimately Lithium. After the lithium treatment didnt work I was more or less told that there wasnt much more they could do for me in terms of medications. This was back before Ketamine treatment was available. The medication was always in combination with talk therapy too.
I still think I could benefit from some talk therapy, however my ability to communicate and interact with people has taken a sharp downturn over the past two years. If ketamine treatments could give me just that little boost I'd be able to open up more I feel. Im at the stage where I cant even concentrate and likely wouldnt remember a therapy session were I to attend one as I've been dissociating more than ever. I'll still give it a go as self medicating just isnt sustainable. If I'm still on the verge of catatonia when I have some more soild sober time under my belt I'll inquire about it...anyway I wont go off on a rant.
I do have some questions for you if you dont mind me asking mate:
How long did it take for you to notice a difference? How did you feel when it did? Also, why did you stop after a year? What pre-requisites did you have to meet (eg how many medications did you try that didnt work; how long were you depressed before trying ketamine treatment; were you able to hold down a job; communicate with people)? Its been over 20 long years for me and I cant do another 20. I feel this is about as bad as it gets. Thanks in advance.
So i had gotten out from a year and a day prison sentence. I was really like not wanting to mess around anymore stuff was very bleak. I lost everything too while I was in.
I really wanted to get my shit together I knew needed medication but I needed to do something different from what rehabs want you to do. Rehab is like you can take some anti depressants and we are going to give you shit for it the whole time. Your adhd diagnosis isn't real your a liar you just want drugs.
I have major complex childhood trauma that I have almost blacked out of my head. I would love to try to challenge that but I'm 31. I just kind of want to live my life. I think that I'm to blame for alot, I think some of it is my fault I was a bad person.
Through out my life as an addict I've dealt with some brutal stuff as well. I truly believe that if I was given medication as a child I would have lived a normal life and probably succeeded at my professional interest. So with this mind set I wanted get rediagnosed by a specialist and I wanted way to help block out negative emotions and triggers. Obviously intravenous ketamine infusions would greatly help with this.
The area I live in isn't too bad but if you go up a few streets it turns into a third world country full of drug dealers and drug seekers.
If your not doing something professional your going to be apart of the "culture" I guess lol.
I did not want this too happen i wanted to try to go back to school for something and try to actually get my shit together with the help of legal medications. I succeeded i got diagnosed got my adderall back and the ketamine infusions really helped.
It's really helpful with like how you respond to things. I had put up with alot of shit when I got out and I felt almost like liberated from having a reaction like I would usually have had. I had minimal anxiety on it and could talk pretty well to people while doing it. It also really makes you not crave anything.
I didn't crave dope, I didnt crave ciggs I didn't crave porn. It's a great reset sort of and you can build positive habits to replace negative ones during this. I started running and lifting, I journaled. I worked on my hobbies and created things.
Im sure I could get boosters still. Once I finished up my legal stuff and started school I started to just do my adderall and I was doing school so much I felt like I didn't need the ketamine anymore. I was doing so much school and working. I became very isolated for like 4 years. Like really minimal to no human contact. I lost alot of my minimalist spirituality stuff in the pursuit of some form of professional career i guess.
I did recently start using iv heroin and meth again this happened last year. I haven't been as reckless as I was in my younger years I definitely regret it but it's apart of the cycle I guess. This is my only form of talking to people currently so I try to interact and I may start going to meetings again. I made account on here to see what other people do for like recovery stuff.
This is not the fault of the ketamine therapy i do not blame it at all, maybe I should have kept going. It is limited after a few years I feel you get the most out of it during your first year. I wouldn't have been able to deal with alot stuff I had to do if I hadn't been on it and I'm grateful for that.
Edit: I have been on multiple different anti depressant, stimulant, benzo medication schedules through out my life. I need the stims but the ketamine is way better than modern day SSRI's.
Sorry if my spelling or English is bad I'm on my phone lol.