MyDoorsAreOpen
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2003
- Messages
- 8,542
This morning, I was pretty much destined to wake up at the ass crack of dawn, plunk myself down on my living room couch, put on Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, and put 100mg of ketamine in my left nostril. At least, I'm pretty sure of that now. Could it be that in fact this was just my most convenient opportunity to try once more this strange beauty of a drug, and the drug just imparted to the entire memory retrospectively with a sense of destiny and purpose? Maybe. But it's impossible to be sure. That's ketamine.
This was to be something between my tenth and twentieth K journey ever. There's not really much point in counting with this drug, since the 'Oh yeah of course, how could I forget, this is how it's always been' feeling of the peak inevitably imparts a sense to me that all my K trips ever constitute one unitary experience, at least for a few days after.
I'd originally planned to hoot 250mg. I'm not a frequent user of this drug, and after getting a lot more than I bargained for on the 100mg I cautiously decided to do, I'm quite glad I didn't use any more. What I thought would be a 'bump' ended me in a brief shallow K-hole, but an overall ++1/2~+++ experience of some pretty incredible profundity from start to finish.
If you've never seen it, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow is basically a piece of action-adventure pulp fiction like the kind our grandpas used to read. An Art Deco 'future' New York City that never existed, steampunk everything, Shambala, aliens, dinosaurs, travel to other planets, undersea warfare, ancient secrets in caves, fighter planes, leading a damsel in distress across a narrow ledge over a deep pit, you get the idea. Not a work of any great literary merit, just something cool to watch.
But it was a great movie for a K experience, I figured, since I'd have trouble following any plot, and this one was nice and thin and full of awesome imagery. I really was not prepared for just how deeply the movie would impact my trip and my temporary view of reality. I ground the crystal K as finely as I could, and took it all in one big hoot.
I knew I was coming up a few minutes later when I saw the rubber wheels of an airplane land on a tarmac, and could literally feel the texture of the rubbing rubber rubbing gently but with a definite friction, against the inside of my soul (!), a feeling I now recognize as a common 'first alert' for a ketamine comeup. I've previously conceived of it as like the feeling transmitted to your fingertips when you use a pencil's rubber eraser on a sheet of notebook paper, except vibrating through my mind somewhere. I remember calling this 'the dissociative rub' in my mind at the time, and this was about the last time until the comedown that I was aware I was on a drug.
The time dilation set in heavily at this point. I'd say the first 30 minutes of the movie felt like eons of Red Baron esque fighter planes flying, blimps, and smoky buildings in an imagined New York City. During that time, whenever I saw something that was cool and possible but not historically accurate, I'd go into a complicated but fast thought loop about the existence of alternate universes, and the fabric of reality in general. The best revelation I finally came to, was that each of our lives, and indeed each entity and phenomenon at all, is just like a soap bubble, with this 'soap' as just the ineffable base substance of reality itself. Like bubbles we're dynamic, moving, changing shape, absorbing other bubbles and spawning off new ones, but all of us eventually pop, and return to the base substance from which they came, to eventually form into new bubbles.
When a dude got his leg crushed by a falling pillar, I meditated thoughtfully and deeply upon whether if I were him, I'd wish it had gotten my head. But then suddenly these CGI stereotypical robot-age aliens show up and finish the dude off. I remember feeling a sense of disappointment, dismay, and even a slight sense of having been cheated by the moviemakers, out of my moment of reverie.
I really didn't realize just how fuctup I was until I decided to go out and smoke a one hitter an hour into the movie. I'd been able to focus on the screen enough to follow the images and not get double vision or nausea, but the world turned 2D as soon as I stood up, and my walking must've looked pretty funny. I remember being alarmed and a little ashamed when I realized that despite not being able to focus on anything else visually, I could easily assume the right eye positioning to connect lighter to one hitter. Wow, am I a seasoned pothead or what! I'd forgotten that just a minute before, I'd focused on the movie fairly well.
My wife eventually woke up about 1.5h into the experience, and came out to sit with me. The first thing that came out of my mouth was 'I'm moving to NYC, and if this movie has anything to say about it, on to Shambala!' And deep down, a part of me actually believed it, and even though the idea is absurd, a part of me even now feels almost willing to believe it. (We are about to move to the NYC area.) She was just like 'Hehe, OK sure.' We proceeded to have a long but lighthearted chat about the appeal of steampunk in modern culture, and the differences between 'boy movies' and 'girl movies'. My lips and tongue and vocal cords were anesthetized a little bit, so I slurred and spoke with a really raspy, nasal voice, but I spoke with incredible fluidity and eloquence. Some of my wordings were poetic and overwrought, or just downright odd or far fetched ways to describe things, but all made sense in their own way. They were just odd in that there was a simpler and more direct way to say each of them, but saying the more complex version came easier to me. I felt a distinct dopaminergic 'lift' every time I said or heard something witty.
I sat up eventually, and really realized for the first time why this drug is an anesthetic. My sense of touch throughout my body was very patchy, especially in my fingers and toes. At times I got annoyed with how long this effect lingered, and had thoughts that went something like 'OK not funny guys, I want my damn body back!' This was the first time I used this drug without any other drugs besides marijuana, and one of the few times I've used it without ecstasy. It's definitely not as euphoric as it is on the tail end of MDMA or LSD. It's decidedly visionary on its own, not recreational, and during the peak not really social.
I remembered an intention I'd set at the beginning of the trip, to work on transforming myself into a more patient person. I didn't remember this until near the end, but when I did, I really tried to ingrain the resolution, and felt I had a certain amount of success with it right away. All day today, I was much more calm and patient than I've recently been. I apologized to the Mrs. for being so short tempered recently. I hope the effect lasts.
I decided to go for a walk when the movie ended, about 2.5h into the experience and definitely coming down but still feeling something. I had sensations of being watched during the walk, even when there was no one around, and I expected everyone I passed to be friendly and greet me, which they all did. It was not so much a paranoid or fearful sense of being watched, but more like an abiding presence. I ended up on a trail in nature that Mrs. Doors and I often walk on, for what I realized would probably be my last time in this place before the move. I picked up a small yellow pellet, which I pondered the significance of, eventually deciding it was a good deed on my part to remove out a discarded piece of fishing trash.
I walked out on a promontory and waved to a boatman passing by, briefly entertaining the idea he came out to meet me. Then I went home. All in all the walk was great, especially since I could really exert myself and not really feel my muscles at all.
When I got back, it was T+3h, and I was crashing and ready for some sleep.
Overall the experience was quite worthwhile and cleansing, but not one that I'm just dying to repeat as soon as possible. I compare this drug to pressing the key on a PC to bypass operating system bootup and enter the BIOS. Comes in real handy for dumping out a headful of crap, but can be kind of jarring without a little MDMA or LSD already in my head to take the edge off.
This was to be something between my tenth and twentieth K journey ever. There's not really much point in counting with this drug, since the 'Oh yeah of course, how could I forget, this is how it's always been' feeling of the peak inevitably imparts a sense to me that all my K trips ever constitute one unitary experience, at least for a few days after.
I'd originally planned to hoot 250mg. I'm not a frequent user of this drug, and after getting a lot more than I bargained for on the 100mg I cautiously decided to do, I'm quite glad I didn't use any more. What I thought would be a 'bump' ended me in a brief shallow K-hole, but an overall ++1/2~+++ experience of some pretty incredible profundity from start to finish.
If you've never seen it, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow is basically a piece of action-adventure pulp fiction like the kind our grandpas used to read. An Art Deco 'future' New York City that never existed, steampunk everything, Shambala, aliens, dinosaurs, travel to other planets, undersea warfare, ancient secrets in caves, fighter planes, leading a damsel in distress across a narrow ledge over a deep pit, you get the idea. Not a work of any great literary merit, just something cool to watch.
But it was a great movie for a K experience, I figured, since I'd have trouble following any plot, and this one was nice and thin and full of awesome imagery. I really was not prepared for just how deeply the movie would impact my trip and my temporary view of reality. I ground the crystal K as finely as I could, and took it all in one big hoot.
I knew I was coming up a few minutes later when I saw the rubber wheels of an airplane land on a tarmac, and could literally feel the texture of the rubbing rubber rubbing gently but with a definite friction, against the inside of my soul (!), a feeling I now recognize as a common 'first alert' for a ketamine comeup. I've previously conceived of it as like the feeling transmitted to your fingertips when you use a pencil's rubber eraser on a sheet of notebook paper, except vibrating through my mind somewhere. I remember calling this 'the dissociative rub' in my mind at the time, and this was about the last time until the comedown that I was aware I was on a drug.
The time dilation set in heavily at this point. I'd say the first 30 minutes of the movie felt like eons of Red Baron esque fighter planes flying, blimps, and smoky buildings in an imagined New York City. During that time, whenever I saw something that was cool and possible but not historically accurate, I'd go into a complicated but fast thought loop about the existence of alternate universes, and the fabric of reality in general. The best revelation I finally came to, was that each of our lives, and indeed each entity and phenomenon at all, is just like a soap bubble, with this 'soap' as just the ineffable base substance of reality itself. Like bubbles we're dynamic, moving, changing shape, absorbing other bubbles and spawning off new ones, but all of us eventually pop, and return to the base substance from which they came, to eventually form into new bubbles.
When a dude got his leg crushed by a falling pillar, I meditated thoughtfully and deeply upon whether if I were him, I'd wish it had gotten my head. But then suddenly these CGI stereotypical robot-age aliens show up and finish the dude off. I remember feeling a sense of disappointment, dismay, and even a slight sense of having been cheated by the moviemakers, out of my moment of reverie.
I really didn't realize just how fuctup I was until I decided to go out and smoke a one hitter an hour into the movie. I'd been able to focus on the screen enough to follow the images and not get double vision or nausea, but the world turned 2D as soon as I stood up, and my walking must've looked pretty funny. I remember being alarmed and a little ashamed when I realized that despite not being able to focus on anything else visually, I could easily assume the right eye positioning to connect lighter to one hitter. Wow, am I a seasoned pothead or what! I'd forgotten that just a minute before, I'd focused on the movie fairly well.
My wife eventually woke up about 1.5h into the experience, and came out to sit with me. The first thing that came out of my mouth was 'I'm moving to NYC, and if this movie has anything to say about it, on to Shambala!' And deep down, a part of me actually believed it, and even though the idea is absurd, a part of me even now feels almost willing to believe it. (We are about to move to the NYC area.) She was just like 'Hehe, OK sure.' We proceeded to have a long but lighthearted chat about the appeal of steampunk in modern culture, and the differences between 'boy movies' and 'girl movies'. My lips and tongue and vocal cords were anesthetized a little bit, so I slurred and spoke with a really raspy, nasal voice, but I spoke with incredible fluidity and eloquence. Some of my wordings were poetic and overwrought, or just downright odd or far fetched ways to describe things, but all made sense in their own way. They were just odd in that there was a simpler and more direct way to say each of them, but saying the more complex version came easier to me. I felt a distinct dopaminergic 'lift' every time I said or heard something witty.
I sat up eventually, and really realized for the first time why this drug is an anesthetic. My sense of touch throughout my body was very patchy, especially in my fingers and toes. At times I got annoyed with how long this effect lingered, and had thoughts that went something like 'OK not funny guys, I want my damn body back!' This was the first time I used this drug without any other drugs besides marijuana, and one of the few times I've used it without ecstasy. It's definitely not as euphoric as it is on the tail end of MDMA or LSD. It's decidedly visionary on its own, not recreational, and during the peak not really social.
I remembered an intention I'd set at the beginning of the trip, to work on transforming myself into a more patient person. I didn't remember this until near the end, but when I did, I really tried to ingrain the resolution, and felt I had a certain amount of success with it right away. All day today, I was much more calm and patient than I've recently been. I apologized to the Mrs. for being so short tempered recently. I hope the effect lasts.
I decided to go for a walk when the movie ended, about 2.5h into the experience and definitely coming down but still feeling something. I had sensations of being watched during the walk, even when there was no one around, and I expected everyone I passed to be friendly and greet me, which they all did. It was not so much a paranoid or fearful sense of being watched, but more like an abiding presence. I ended up on a trail in nature that Mrs. Doors and I often walk on, for what I realized would probably be my last time in this place before the move. I picked up a small yellow pellet, which I pondered the significance of, eventually deciding it was a good deed on my part to remove out a discarded piece of fishing trash.
I walked out on a promontory and waved to a boatman passing by, briefly entertaining the idea he came out to meet me. Then I went home. All in all the walk was great, especially since I could really exert myself and not really feel my muscles at all.When I got back, it was T+3h, and I was crashing and ready for some sleep.
Overall the experience was quite worthwhile and cleansing, but not one that I'm just dying to repeat as soon as possible. I compare this drug to pressing the key on a PC to bypass operating system bootup and enter the BIOS. Comes in real handy for dumping out a headful of crap, but can be kind of jarring without a little MDMA or LSD already in my head to take the edge off.
