Tad R Fitzsimmions
Bluelighter
K, Dragonfly(?)/DOI(?)/LSD(?), MDMA, Alcohol, Meth, Seroquel. By Kandy K
"Remind Me to Never Touch This Stuff Again, Brah."
I finally pieced together what happened this past weekend. The original plan was to buy some E pills from a friend, only to discover they were all fucked up and partying back at their hotel. Plans changed, and we ended up hanging out with them for a little bit. They were hospitable and offered us ketamine, and we snorted some. While on the influence of that, much to my excitement we were offered LSD for $10/hit. He assured us that it was well worth it, and that "3 is like taking the full ride." I hadn't found LSD in years so despite the high price, my friend and I bought 5 to split between two of us. We took it at Friday, 4:50P.M.
I suspect the content may have been DOI or Dragonfly(?) which explains why I was so fucked up. There's really no way to tell what I took unless I see the design of the sheet again. But the blotter was on cardboard, and seemed too thick to have been LSD. I spent around a good five minutes playing with the 3rd hit and trying to chew it in half. I think I may have gotten most of it because I was touching and gnawing on it for so long.
I chewed on them for a good hour until the material dissolved in my mouth. On the comedown of the K before it hit, my friend and I left to go take care of some other business, planning to come right back within a half hour.
We went back to his house and met up with some of his buddies, and they requested that we tweak a little. The guys started smoking speed in front of me, and I almost thought I would succumb and relapse. But I didn't touch it. I was lucky enough to have a friend stay on the phone with me to distract me from the smoke session. The last thing I remember was talking to him and waiting while the acid kicked in. I went to the bathroom and plugged an MDMA pill and the rest of the ketamine in the bag, and then I blacked out.
****
I woke up vomiting (mostly water) all over myself. That was the first thing I remember. The second is feeling somebody drag me to the bathroom and shut the door behind me, but I was too fucked up at the time to recognize them or tell if they were real people. I stumbled in the slippery wetness and crawled around on all fours blindly in the tub, frantically searching for the faucet knob to cool down the water. I felt a violent spasm from my gut as I hurled more liquid in the bathtub. I did not take bother taking my clothes off when I entered.
I fumbled some more till I staggered to the mirror, clothes still on and drenched, clawing my face in frustration. I leaned over the sink to hydrate myself, and choked on the water, spitting it back out. From the glimpse that I was able to see of my appearance, I must have been puking up all night in my sleep… I looked like I was dying of famine, starvation, and drought. I didn't have enough strength to arch my back, so I was cowering in a limp the entire time. I lost at least a good 20-30lbs from water loss alone, I must have weighed around 70 pounds or so. My eyes were sunken in, my cheeks looked hollow, and my skin, dull white like a corpse. At this point my ribs are caved in, and I'm just struggling to breathe.
I'm unclear as to what else I did, because I blacked out again.
****
I woke up a second time vomiting (again, water) all over myself. I am STILL tripping full on dream hallucination style when I woke up. I can't tell if it's pitch black or even light outside. I don't even know where I am, for that matter. I have no recollection as to where I was or what I was doing last night. And I'm too fucked up to call for help. Fantastic fucking predicament I've let myself get into.
I hear my phone and clumsily fumble around in the dark for it and barely pick it up in time. It's my friend calling. I barely manage to stutter out, "I'm fucked up…" but can't form the rest of the sentence. I pass out again.
****
I woke up again in a different room, naked on a bed. I clutched the wet towel that was draped around me, trying to warm my freezing body. I try to observe the room that I am in, but am still tripping hardcore. I check the clock. 7:02 A.M. I can't tell if it's the real time or not, or what day it is.
I feel another puke coming on, and try to scramble my way to the bathroom again, tripping over a big Arrowhead bottle left on the ground. I pick it up to drink it and grimace at the horrible aftertaste. This isn't water…it tastes like meth!!! FUCK!!! It must have been the water that they used for the bong!
This time I really am going to hurl. I rushed to the toilet and threw my head over it just in time. I jerk in another violent motion and vomit more fluid, EXCEPT MY PUKE IS BLOODY. I sit myself down to pee, and my piss is also dark red. I get horrified that I'm bleeding out of all orifices, but assured myself that I am hallucinating all of it.
I need some nutrition bad. My bag with all my belongings is left on the counter to the left of the sink. I closed my eyes and spent several minute trying to locate my vitamins. Once I did, I tossed them in my mouth and took a big swig out of a cup that was on the sink counter. It burns on the way down. I cough and gasp for air, and realize it's vodka. WHY THE FUCK IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!!?!!?!?
Without noticing my clothes still in the sink, I rinsed my face and washed my mouth out. Great, now I can't wear my clothes, which I've gotten wet again. I growled at myself in animalistic gibberish and wandered back to the bed to pass out again.
****
I wake up again at 10:45 A.M. My head is a little clearer, but it is still difficult to see where I am. I opened my eyes a little and peeked out of them and notice a big bag of opened chips on the edge of the bed. I grabbed them by the handfuls and wolfed them down, but my dry mouth is making it difficult to swallow. Forgetting there was speed in the Arrowhead bottle, I grabbed it and start chugging, coughing half of it back up in my lap. GODDAMMIT!!!
I go back to the bathroom and tried to puke it up, only for SOME REASON this is the only time I was unsuccessful. I piss again, AND MY URINE IS BROWN. I begin to think that my bloody piss might have been real. I wobbled unsteadily to the sink, where my clothes are still half damp. I ignore it and put them on. At least my jacket is dry.
I glanced at myself again and to my utter horror, came to the astonishing conclusion that my last mushroom trip (where I tripped that I was a dead bird) was real. I had envisioned the future.
I found it easier to close my eyes and feel my way around, and this is how I made my way downstairs. I prepared some cup noodles in the microwave and practically inhaled them. I became more at ease feeling my torso almost instantaneously bloat up and retain some water, then sat on the couch and closed my eyes. I was just waiting for the terrifying trip to cease. I spent a couple hours in this position until my friend woke up. We talked for a little bit, mostly about what happened the past night, but I do not remember any details of the conversation.
****
It is 3pm, 22 hours from when I took the supposed LSD, and I am STILL frying. I just want the madness to end. I try to shut my eyes to fall asleep, but am unable to because of the closed-eye hallucinations, which are now involving demons reaching out to grab me.
My friend is nervously walking around the house, and finds some Seroquel lying around the house and gives it to me. It kicked in at 4P.M. and soothed me, passing me out till 11:30PM, when I was driven back home.
****
My trip finally ended at Tuesday 1 A.M, god knows how many hours from when I originally took it. I have a vague memory of what I tripped out, but I'd just like to forget it.
I was to learn later that the people that helped me to the bathroom the first time I woke up were people that were actually there. They were good friends that had dropped by to party, and they took care of me for a portion of the night. I'd like to think those people weren't really there, but sadly, they were, and I probably acted like a fucking fool in front of them.
I was told from several different people that I was acting like a junkie, just walking around the halls searching for a lighter, muttering about wanting to have a meth smoke for some sort of celebration, on top of exclaiming "YEAH, CAUSE I GET THE MEANING OF LIFE NOW!" every ten minutes. I vaguely remembered entering the shower with clothes on, and then exiting with my clothes off.
My friend called again to check up on me, reporting that he was worried because I wasn't acting right. He said I was slurring and acting like a drunk that just got straight roofied.
I am the only one that had a reaction this bad. I think my body just can't handle this lifestyle anymore. I need to take a good fucking look and see what I've done to myself. I have fucking EVERYTHING and I almost threw it all away. It was pathetic waking up like that, not even knowing where I was or who I was with, and most importantly of all: BEING UNABLE TO CALL FOR HELP. It just occurred to me how close I was to death…If it weren't for the kindness of the people around me, I might not have made it out alive.
So, I learned several things today:
1) "Remind me to never touch this stuff again, brah."
2) "I need to stop taking drug advice from 'The Moderator,' lmao."
2) "That meth was the good drug all along……hahaahaahhaahhahhahhaahha…j/kj/jk/kj/jk/jk/kj/jk/kj/kj/j/kjk/jk1J!!!!!!"
Okay no, SERIOUSLY, here are the things that I learned from this experience:
1) I need to gain some fucking weight! How long I have glamorized being anorexic-thin, and it was almost the death of me. Every time I look at my body now, it is a painful reminder of how weak and helpless I was.
2) Deep down, all people are genuine and pure. Those people, some of whom I barely knew, came to help me in my time of need.
3) Lastly, my time here on earth is very limited. I need to embrace it and appreciate life for the beauty it's worth, instead of slowly destroying myself like I have been. I'm done with this pathway to destruction… No more irresponsible shit like that!
I don't know what the fuck I must have dreamt about on Seroquel, but it must have been something good.
Update:
^^ EEEEEEEE!!!!!! The new me!
I found out what really happened…
BDiddy: hey i hope ur feeling better
DXM Is Love: aw thanks i am.... thanks for helping me out dude, i was really really really fucked up
BDiddy: no prob we all just wanted u 2 be ok
BDiddy: what happend with the whole jon thing?
DXM Is Love: i seriously didn't even know you guys were there
DXM Is Love: what john thing?
BDiddy: like when he was in the room with u
BDiddy: and we all kept on comming in
DXM Is Love: i dont remember him being in the room with me
BDiddy: oh
BDiddy: we were all just like worried that he was gunna try 2 take advantage of u
DXM Is Love: WTF!!
BDiddy: helen said he tried to say u wanted to get it on with him
DXM Is Love: what the fuck!
BDiddy: yeah but everyone made sure nothing happend
BDiddy: its ok
BDiddy: micah came in
BDiddy: nothing happend
DXM Is Love: i only remember him for a second, when like he tapped my shoulder and i puked all over myself. but i didnt know it was really him i thought i was just hallucinating
BDiddy: hahah
BDiddy: oh no he was in tom's room with u like u were laying down
BDiddy: and he was laying across u and u guys were talking
BDiddy: and we all kept on comming in
DXM Is Love: hahahahahah what the fuck, i wonder what we were talking about
BDiddy: pretending we were looking for my fone
DXM Is Love: probably weird ass shit
BDiddy: i guess he tried to say that u were like "lets have sex" or something like that
BDiddy: and people were like rigggght
DXM Is Love: micah said i was walking around talkign about having a smoke and relapsing for some sort of celebration, and i kept saying "cause i understand hte meaning of life now!" every 10 minutes hahahahah
DXM Is Love: lmao wtf haahhahah sex was the last thing on my mind
BDiddy: yeah u tried to smoke
BDiddy: but micah stoped u
BDiddy: i wasn't there
DXM Is Love: AHAHAHAHAHAH wtf
BDiddy: but helen told me
DXM Is Love: wtf i didnt think that really happened!!!
DXM Is Love: i thought i was just dreaming
BDiddy: i dried u off again
DXM Is Love: sorry =/
BDiddy: and tried to like makeu a bath
BDiddy: but u ran out micah's hot water
BDiddy: no worries
DXM Is Love: how long was i in there for?
BDiddy: omg soooo long
BDiddy: u ran out his hot water
DXM Is Love: dude i thought i was in there for like a minute
BDiddy: that long
BDiddy: no, and u almost like feel b/c the floor was soaked cuz u kept on comming in and out
BDiddy: and u came downstairs naked
DXM Is Love: hahaahahahhahahahah holy shit i remember that
BDiddy: and everyone was so shocked
BDiddy: and my cuzin was there and he saw u
DXM Is Love: lmfao
BDiddy: u kept on asking who u were
BDiddy: and i was like K***** C**** [name removed for security -Splatt]
BDiddy: and u just looked at me
BDiddy: like that wasn't right
DXM Is Love: hahahahahha wtf
"Remind Me to Never Touch This Stuff Again, Brah."
I finally pieced together what happened this past weekend. The original plan was to buy some E pills from a friend, only to discover they were all fucked up and partying back at their hotel. Plans changed, and we ended up hanging out with them for a little bit. They were hospitable and offered us ketamine, and we snorted some. While on the influence of that, much to my excitement we were offered LSD for $10/hit. He assured us that it was well worth it, and that "3 is like taking the full ride." I hadn't found LSD in years so despite the high price, my friend and I bought 5 to split between two of us. We took it at Friday, 4:50P.M.
I suspect the content may have been DOI or Dragonfly(?) which explains why I was so fucked up. There's really no way to tell what I took unless I see the design of the sheet again. But the blotter was on cardboard, and seemed too thick to have been LSD. I spent around a good five minutes playing with the 3rd hit and trying to chew it in half. I think I may have gotten most of it because I was touching and gnawing on it for so long.
I chewed on them for a good hour until the material dissolved in my mouth. On the comedown of the K before it hit, my friend and I left to go take care of some other business, planning to come right back within a half hour.
We went back to his house and met up with some of his buddies, and they requested that we tweak a little. The guys started smoking speed in front of me, and I almost thought I would succumb and relapse. But I didn't touch it. I was lucky enough to have a friend stay on the phone with me to distract me from the smoke session. The last thing I remember was talking to him and waiting while the acid kicked in. I went to the bathroom and plugged an MDMA pill and the rest of the ketamine in the bag, and then I blacked out.
****
I woke up vomiting (mostly water) all over myself. That was the first thing I remember. The second is feeling somebody drag me to the bathroom and shut the door behind me, but I was too fucked up at the time to recognize them or tell if they were real people. I stumbled in the slippery wetness and crawled around on all fours blindly in the tub, frantically searching for the faucet knob to cool down the water. I felt a violent spasm from my gut as I hurled more liquid in the bathtub. I did not take bother taking my clothes off when I entered.
I fumbled some more till I staggered to the mirror, clothes still on and drenched, clawing my face in frustration. I leaned over the sink to hydrate myself, and choked on the water, spitting it back out. From the glimpse that I was able to see of my appearance, I must have been puking up all night in my sleep… I looked like I was dying of famine, starvation, and drought. I didn't have enough strength to arch my back, so I was cowering in a limp the entire time. I lost at least a good 20-30lbs from water loss alone, I must have weighed around 70 pounds or so. My eyes were sunken in, my cheeks looked hollow, and my skin, dull white like a corpse. At this point my ribs are caved in, and I'm just struggling to breathe.
I'm unclear as to what else I did, because I blacked out again.
****
I woke up a second time vomiting (again, water) all over myself. I am STILL tripping full on dream hallucination style when I woke up. I can't tell if it's pitch black or even light outside. I don't even know where I am, for that matter. I have no recollection as to where I was or what I was doing last night. And I'm too fucked up to call for help. Fantastic fucking predicament I've let myself get into.
I hear my phone and clumsily fumble around in the dark for it and barely pick it up in time. It's my friend calling. I barely manage to stutter out, "I'm fucked up…" but can't form the rest of the sentence. I pass out again.
****
I woke up again in a different room, naked on a bed. I clutched the wet towel that was draped around me, trying to warm my freezing body. I try to observe the room that I am in, but am still tripping hardcore. I check the clock. 7:02 A.M. I can't tell if it's the real time or not, or what day it is.
I feel another puke coming on, and try to scramble my way to the bathroom again, tripping over a big Arrowhead bottle left on the ground. I pick it up to drink it and grimace at the horrible aftertaste. This isn't water…it tastes like meth!!! FUCK!!! It must have been the water that they used for the bong!
This time I really am going to hurl. I rushed to the toilet and threw my head over it just in time. I jerk in another violent motion and vomit more fluid, EXCEPT MY PUKE IS BLOODY. I sit myself down to pee, and my piss is also dark red. I get horrified that I'm bleeding out of all orifices, but assured myself that I am hallucinating all of it.
I need some nutrition bad. My bag with all my belongings is left on the counter to the left of the sink. I closed my eyes and spent several minute trying to locate my vitamins. Once I did, I tossed them in my mouth and took a big swig out of a cup that was on the sink counter. It burns on the way down. I cough and gasp for air, and realize it's vodka. WHY THE FUCK IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!!?!!?!?
Without noticing my clothes still in the sink, I rinsed my face and washed my mouth out. Great, now I can't wear my clothes, which I've gotten wet again. I growled at myself in animalistic gibberish and wandered back to the bed to pass out again.
****
I wake up again at 10:45 A.M. My head is a little clearer, but it is still difficult to see where I am. I opened my eyes a little and peeked out of them and notice a big bag of opened chips on the edge of the bed. I grabbed them by the handfuls and wolfed them down, but my dry mouth is making it difficult to swallow. Forgetting there was speed in the Arrowhead bottle, I grabbed it and start chugging, coughing half of it back up in my lap. GODDAMMIT!!!
I go back to the bathroom and tried to puke it up, only for SOME REASON this is the only time I was unsuccessful. I piss again, AND MY URINE IS BROWN. I begin to think that my bloody piss might have been real. I wobbled unsteadily to the sink, where my clothes are still half damp. I ignore it and put them on. At least my jacket is dry.
I glanced at myself again and to my utter horror, came to the astonishing conclusion that my last mushroom trip (where I tripped that I was a dead bird) was real. I had envisioned the future.
I found it easier to close my eyes and feel my way around, and this is how I made my way downstairs. I prepared some cup noodles in the microwave and practically inhaled them. I became more at ease feeling my torso almost instantaneously bloat up and retain some water, then sat on the couch and closed my eyes. I was just waiting for the terrifying trip to cease. I spent a couple hours in this position until my friend woke up. We talked for a little bit, mostly about what happened the past night, but I do not remember any details of the conversation.
****
It is 3pm, 22 hours from when I took the supposed LSD, and I am STILL frying. I just want the madness to end. I try to shut my eyes to fall asleep, but am unable to because of the closed-eye hallucinations, which are now involving demons reaching out to grab me.
My friend is nervously walking around the house, and finds some Seroquel lying around the house and gives it to me. It kicked in at 4P.M. and soothed me, passing me out till 11:30PM, when I was driven back home.
****
My trip finally ended at Tuesday 1 A.M, god knows how many hours from when I originally took it. I have a vague memory of what I tripped out, but I'd just like to forget it.
I was to learn later that the people that helped me to the bathroom the first time I woke up were people that were actually there. They were good friends that had dropped by to party, and they took care of me for a portion of the night. I'd like to think those people weren't really there, but sadly, they were, and I probably acted like a fucking fool in front of them.
I was told from several different people that I was acting like a junkie, just walking around the halls searching for a lighter, muttering about wanting to have a meth smoke for some sort of celebration, on top of exclaiming "YEAH, CAUSE I GET THE MEANING OF LIFE NOW!" every ten minutes. I vaguely remembered entering the shower with clothes on, and then exiting with my clothes off.
My friend called again to check up on me, reporting that he was worried because I wasn't acting right. He said I was slurring and acting like a drunk that just got straight roofied.
I am the only one that had a reaction this bad. I think my body just can't handle this lifestyle anymore. I need to take a good fucking look and see what I've done to myself. I have fucking EVERYTHING and I almost threw it all away. It was pathetic waking up like that, not even knowing where I was or who I was with, and most importantly of all: BEING UNABLE TO CALL FOR HELP. It just occurred to me how close I was to death…If it weren't for the kindness of the people around me, I might not have made it out alive.
So, I learned several things today:
1) "Remind me to never touch this stuff again, brah."
2) "I need to stop taking drug advice from 'The Moderator,' lmao."
2) "That meth was the good drug all along……hahaahaahhaahhahhahhaahha…j/kj/jk/kj/jk/jk/kj/jk/kj/kj/j/kjk/jk1J!!!!!!"
Okay no, SERIOUSLY, here are the things that I learned from this experience:
1) I need to gain some fucking weight! How long I have glamorized being anorexic-thin, and it was almost the death of me. Every time I look at my body now, it is a painful reminder of how weak and helpless I was.
2) Deep down, all people are genuine and pure. Those people, some of whom I barely knew, came to help me in my time of need.
3) Lastly, my time here on earth is very limited. I need to embrace it and appreciate life for the beauty it's worth, instead of slowly destroying myself like I have been. I'm done with this pathway to destruction… No more irresponsible shit like that!
I don't know what the fuck I must have dreamt about on Seroquel, but it must have been something good.
Update:
^^ EEEEEEEE!!!!!! The new me!
I found out what really happened…
BDiddy: hey i hope ur feeling better
DXM Is Love: aw thanks i am.... thanks for helping me out dude, i was really really really fucked up
BDiddy: no prob we all just wanted u 2 be ok
BDiddy: what happend with the whole jon thing?
DXM Is Love: i seriously didn't even know you guys were there
DXM Is Love: what john thing?
BDiddy: like when he was in the room with u
BDiddy: and we all kept on comming in
DXM Is Love: i dont remember him being in the room with me
BDiddy: oh
BDiddy: we were all just like worried that he was gunna try 2 take advantage of u
DXM Is Love: WTF!!
BDiddy: helen said he tried to say u wanted to get it on with him
DXM Is Love: what the fuck!
BDiddy: yeah but everyone made sure nothing happend
BDiddy: its ok
BDiddy: micah came in
BDiddy: nothing happend
DXM Is Love: i only remember him for a second, when like he tapped my shoulder and i puked all over myself. but i didnt know it was really him i thought i was just hallucinating
BDiddy: hahah
BDiddy: oh no he was in tom's room with u like u were laying down
BDiddy: and he was laying across u and u guys were talking
BDiddy: and we all kept on comming in
DXM Is Love: hahahahahah what the fuck, i wonder what we were talking about
BDiddy: pretending we were looking for my fone
DXM Is Love: probably weird ass shit
BDiddy: i guess he tried to say that u were like "lets have sex" or something like that
BDiddy: and people were like rigggght
DXM Is Love: micah said i was walking around talkign about having a smoke and relapsing for some sort of celebration, and i kept saying "cause i understand hte meaning of life now!" every 10 minutes hahahahah
DXM Is Love: lmao wtf haahhahah sex was the last thing on my mind
BDiddy: yeah u tried to smoke
BDiddy: but micah stoped u
BDiddy: i wasn't there
DXM Is Love: AHAHAHAHAHAH wtf
BDiddy: but helen told me
DXM Is Love: wtf i didnt think that really happened!!!
DXM Is Love: i thought i was just dreaming
BDiddy: i dried u off again
DXM Is Love: sorry =/
BDiddy: and tried to like makeu a bath
BDiddy: but u ran out micah's hot water
BDiddy: no worries
DXM Is Love: how long was i in there for?
BDiddy: omg soooo long
BDiddy: u ran out his hot water
DXM Is Love: dude i thought i was in there for like a minute
BDiddy: that long
BDiddy: no, and u almost like feel b/c the floor was soaked cuz u kept on comming in and out
BDiddy: and u came downstairs naked
DXM Is Love: hahaahahahhahahahah holy shit i remember that
BDiddy: and everyone was so shocked
BDiddy: and my cuzin was there and he saw u
DXM Is Love: lmfao
BDiddy: u kept on asking who u were
BDiddy: and i was like K***** C**** [name removed for security -Splatt]
BDiddy: and u just looked at me
BDiddy: like that wasn't right
DXM Is Love: hahahahahha wtf
Last edited by a moderator:
Eat your psychedelics one at a time and enjoy them.
