andyh
Bluelighter
K (first time) and weed (experienced)---- one intense evening
After all the reading I had done about K, I thought I was in for a pretty nice high. NOTHING could have prepared me for what went on last night.Around 6, I bumped probably around 40 mgs of K. It was my first time, so I was planning on just doing a little at a time. I was up and down, I didn't realize how quick acting it was. It went like that for a while, and then I finished the bag, but because I spaced it out over about an hour, it wasn't too intense. I left them (they were having fun on something else, and I was too sober to sit outside with them). Went back, grabbed some more K and headed over to a party. At the party, I railed the bag of K w/in a half hour. (All in all, I had approx 160 mgs... I weigh approx about 150-155 pounds.) I also ate two massive weed brownies and smoked a few bowls of some nice weed. I think it was around 12:30 or so when I started feeling really light, like each molecule of my body was floating away. It was more of a "Shit, man, I smoked way too much" feeling and I thought it would pass. But it didn't and I got higher and higher. We sat outside on a fire escape for fresh air. It was a pretty beauitful view. Until the only thing I could see was the grating of the fire escape because I was hunched over it puking. . . and suddenly I felt a whole lot better. Like I was just pleasantly stoned rather than incredibly fucked up. (I later told my suitemate that throwing up was like expelling all the intensity that was building up inside of me. Like it was all over with. . . but it was just beginning. . .)After that, thinking that I was alright, I walked home. I met someone on the street who asked for a lighter, a normal occurrence, but about five minutes later, I thought it was strange. . . I don't know when I started to trip, or how, I just remember looking back and thinking that it was all so strange. I called my friend and we talked and that seemed normal, too. But when I was on the phone with him I remember saying, "Wow, this has been the most intense evening of my life." But, again, I don't remember why it was intense, it just was. I walked back to my dorm after I talked with him (it was about 1:30 am or so). I checked my mail, and I got this letter with a free coupon. . . another normal thing (they send weird shit to colleges all the time). But every little thing just made me ask so many questions about life. I felt that it was eternity, because it was as if I was just floating past everything. I was able to talk to people, but it was so surreal. I was in my bed for about two hours before I fell asleep, but every five minutes, I had to open my journal and write in it. I felt this burning desire to write everything that I figured out. (Of course none of it makes sense now.) I just wanted it to end, and everytime there was something stable (me talking to a friend or my roommate coming in and using his computer. . .), I thought that the trip was over. But it just kept continuing. . . My suitemate came in, and I tried to tell him about my night, but I couldn't. It seemed to me like a normal conversation. Every normal thing that happened seemed like I was and wasn't a part of it at the same time. Like I wasn't really there. He left and let me try to sleep, but about an hour later, I went to his room and told him that I was sober because I realized that I was alive. I had figured it out, and I could then go to bed. But it still continued. . . I was in bed, and I was convinced that I was on the threshold of death. I tried calling another friend who lives two floors above me (I really needed someone to chill with. . .), but I got her voice mail, and then I knew that I was just going to have to ride it out alone. As much as I tried to tell myself that I was just fucked up on drugs and that it would pass, I truly thought it would never end. I can't explain it. . . I logically deduced that, because I was experiencing something so intense, it was some spiritual force that was either allowing me to catch a glimpse into death or was starting to take me with it. So I thought I was going to die, and for the first time in years, I prayed. And I felt comforted. (Looking back, I realize that I was just incredible fucked up. . . it didn't change my life or anything.) So then I knew I would be alright, but the trip continued. I wrote about 20 pages of incoherency until 3:07 am (I looked at the clock) when I decided that the answer to all these questions of life (eternity, spirituality, death, etc., etc.) is that they're not made to be answered. As much as I wanted to figure it out, I tried to fight with myself by saying that these questions aren't meant to be resolved. I fought the urge to write and just chilled in bed waiting for sleep. Like I said, I don't remember when the trip started. I think it was when I left my friend's apartment to walk back to my dorm. But it was all so normal, I don't know what made it fucked up. This is the first trip report I have written, and I wish I could tell you through words how intense and thought-provoking and INTENSE it was. But you'll just have to experience it for yourself, because words just aren't enough. After all the Bluelight and Erowid reading I have done, and after talking to people who have done K, I thought I was prepared. But I wasn't. The K and the weed. . . man, it'll blow your head off. It was an absolutely amazing experience, I just wasn't prepared for the intensity. I can't tell you how desperately I wanted it to end. Why wouldn't it stop???? I feel better writing this, but since I've been awake, I can't stop thinking about it. Hopefully now that I've written about it, I will able to resume my daily life. But we'll see.Tagged by Speed Kingsubstancecode_ketaminesubstancecode_achssubstancecode_dissociativesexplevel_firsttimeexplevel_inexperiencedexptype_positiveexptype_spiritualroacode_nasal
After all the reading I had done about K, I thought I was in for a pretty nice high. NOTHING could have prepared me for what went on last night.Around 6, I bumped probably around 40 mgs of K. It was my first time, so I was planning on just doing a little at a time. I was up and down, I didn't realize how quick acting it was. It went like that for a while, and then I finished the bag, but because I spaced it out over about an hour, it wasn't too intense. I left them (they were having fun on something else, and I was too sober to sit outside with them). Went back, grabbed some more K and headed over to a party. At the party, I railed the bag of K w/in a half hour. (All in all, I had approx 160 mgs... I weigh approx about 150-155 pounds.) I also ate two massive weed brownies and smoked a few bowls of some nice weed. I think it was around 12:30 or so when I started feeling really light, like each molecule of my body was floating away. It was more of a "Shit, man, I smoked way too much" feeling and I thought it would pass. But it didn't and I got higher and higher. We sat outside on a fire escape for fresh air. It was a pretty beauitful view. Until the only thing I could see was the grating of the fire escape because I was hunched over it puking. . . and suddenly I felt a whole lot better. Like I was just pleasantly stoned rather than incredibly fucked up. (I later told my suitemate that throwing up was like expelling all the intensity that was building up inside of me. Like it was all over with. . . but it was just beginning. . .)After that, thinking that I was alright, I walked home. I met someone on the street who asked for a lighter, a normal occurrence, but about five minutes later, I thought it was strange. . . I don't know when I started to trip, or how, I just remember looking back and thinking that it was all so strange. I called my friend and we talked and that seemed normal, too. But when I was on the phone with him I remember saying, "Wow, this has been the most intense evening of my life." But, again, I don't remember why it was intense, it just was. I walked back to my dorm after I talked with him (it was about 1:30 am or so). I checked my mail, and I got this letter with a free coupon. . . another normal thing (they send weird shit to colleges all the time). But every little thing just made me ask so many questions about life. I felt that it was eternity, because it was as if I was just floating past everything. I was able to talk to people, but it was so surreal. I was in my bed for about two hours before I fell asleep, but every five minutes, I had to open my journal and write in it. I felt this burning desire to write everything that I figured out. (Of course none of it makes sense now.) I just wanted it to end, and everytime there was something stable (me talking to a friend or my roommate coming in and using his computer. . .), I thought that the trip was over. But it just kept continuing. . . My suitemate came in, and I tried to tell him about my night, but I couldn't. It seemed to me like a normal conversation. Every normal thing that happened seemed like I was and wasn't a part of it at the same time. Like I wasn't really there. He left and let me try to sleep, but about an hour later, I went to his room and told him that I was sober because I realized that I was alive. I had figured it out, and I could then go to bed. But it still continued. . . I was in bed, and I was convinced that I was on the threshold of death. I tried calling another friend who lives two floors above me (I really needed someone to chill with. . .), but I got her voice mail, and then I knew that I was just going to have to ride it out alone. As much as I tried to tell myself that I was just fucked up on drugs and that it would pass, I truly thought it would never end. I can't explain it. . . I logically deduced that, because I was experiencing something so intense, it was some spiritual force that was either allowing me to catch a glimpse into death or was starting to take me with it. So I thought I was going to die, and for the first time in years, I prayed. And I felt comforted. (Looking back, I realize that I was just incredible fucked up. . . it didn't change my life or anything.) So then I knew I would be alright, but the trip continued. I wrote about 20 pages of incoherency until 3:07 am (I looked at the clock) when I decided that the answer to all these questions of life (eternity, spirituality, death, etc., etc.) is that they're not made to be answered. As much as I wanted to figure it out, I tried to fight with myself by saying that these questions aren't meant to be resolved. I fought the urge to write and just chilled in bed waiting for sleep. Like I said, I don't remember when the trip started. I think it was when I left my friend's apartment to walk back to my dorm. But it was all so normal, I don't know what made it fucked up. This is the first trip report I have written, and I wish I could tell you through words how intense and thought-provoking and INTENSE it was. But you'll just have to experience it for yourself, because words just aren't enough. After all the Bluelight and Erowid reading I have done, and after talking to people who have done K, I thought I was prepared. But I wasn't. The K and the weed. . . man, it'll blow your head off. It was an absolutely amazing experience, I just wasn't prepared for the intensity. I can't tell you how desperately I wanted it to end. Why wouldn't it stop???? I feel better writing this, but since I've been awake, I can't stop thinking about it. Hopefully now that I've written about it, I will able to resume my daily life. But we'll see.Tagged by Speed Kingsubstancecode_ketaminesubstancecode_achssubstancecode_dissociativesexplevel_firsttimeexplevel_inexperiencedexptype_positiveexptype_spiritualroacode_nasal
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